Private Journal Entry - MARCH 21, 2006

Everett has resigned. Nominations are up for a new authority figure in the house. Having just made complaints to Kaori, I can't help but worry that I had a play in this. If I did, I'm not sure how I feel about it. From where I stand, Everett did not appear to be doing his job. He never asked for my side of the story. He never even looked into it. Maybe it was because I was on drugs, but he didn't even know that tidbit until a great deal later. And what kind of a cop blames the victim? He might as well have told me I had it coming.

That doesn't mean that just anyone would be better though. When I think through who I've met in the house, I'm not sure who I'd want in that position. I certainly couldn't do it. It's a lot of responsibility and a lot of work, though those aren't the reasons I'd turn it away. I just don't think I'm cut out for it. Which leaves the question of, who is?

If I did play a part in this, how much? Was I the only one Everett was neglecting? Kaori didn't say much on the point when I spoke with her, but she was also being completely professional. I can only assume that she turned my testimonial over to Everett and he realized how bad he'd fucked up. But I don't think that was exactly the case. I feel like there had to be something more. My issues alone shouldn't have been enough to make him step down.

And then there's his note. Asshole. Why the fuck would I want to talk to him when he obviously doesn't want to listen to me? This isn't an issue of me 'toughening up'. It's real easy to lay the blame elsewhere. Fucker.