Private Journal Entry - MARCH 31, 2006

It's a little odd realizing that something I used to fear is now something I desire. This would have terrified me ten days ago, and now I wonder when I can be with him next. Writing that makes me sound like a sex-crazed rabbit, but that's not it. It's being with him completely, giving myself to him while possessing him as well, that just floors me. I've never felt like that with a girl and this has nothing to do with the physical part of it. I don't think I've ever been willing to emotionally share that much of myself with a person. They've never meant that much to me. Dan does.

And now, I don't think I grasped what a large part that plays in sex. The difference is huge. It's not just a physical experience anymore. I feel like a sap thinking this way, but it's true. I made it to twenty-four years old before I understood what should be a very basic concept. Course, I'd never been in love before either, so maybe that makes sense.

So yes, it's my birthday, and the scientists have given me the best gift that could possibly give- privacy. For me, that is alone time with Dan. It's time I can share with him and it just be ours. No place else, not even the woods, allows that, but now I can get it with the flip of a switch. They said one other person in the house has it and it makes me wonder who... but I'm far too happy to worry about it at the moment.

Dan got me an absolutely beautiful watch. I love it, but it doesn't compare to being with him. Not in the least. So far, this has been my most unforgettable birthday yet. Even the tacks on the floor couldn't seem to bother me too much. With everything else going on, it's just a prank, and I'm too happy to be concerned over it. I just hope they'll be gone tomorrow.