Crying in the Chapel

Who: Esmé
Where: In her mind and in the chapel
When: Sometime after the explosion

She didn't know what was going on. The heat was rising quickly in the room, and she could see the flames starting to eat away at the walls. It was only a matter of time until they reached her bed. She began screaming for help, but she knew no one was coming. The worst part was, her body wasn't responding. It was moving of it's own accord, completely out of control. She managed to roll onto her back just in time to see the flames crawling across the ceiling. She screamed as the ceiling cracked, then a piece began falling right towards her-

Esmé woke up with a start, her legs kicking in the blanket. She'd dozed off while sitting there several times, including after the explosion, which she hadn't heard so much as felt. But it had been the same dream each time. Always flashing back to just two hours ago, only every time, history re-wrote itself. No one ever rescued her in her dreams. No one ever checked to see if she was there. No one cared.

She looked around the chapel, still shaking. While she felt like her control was returning some, she just felt so helpless. She had briefly managed to get one of her earplugs out, but she put it back in shortly thereafter. For one, she was afraid to lose it, and two, there was so much noise going on and the acoustics were so bad that it had just added to the confusion. Better to be in silence. She was able to keep the chaos at bay that way. It wasn't like anyone had anything to say to her anyway.

Everyone seemed to have forgotten she was there. They were all running around, looking at lists, going in and out of the chapel, taking care of the people who were hurt. Even Aamir had been kept busy checking on other people and hadn't been able to see how she was doing. It made sense, though. Take care of the people who could actually help you survive. She didn't know what would happen to them all, but she was fairly sure that what was going to happen did not involve sending them home. Eventually people would begin hunting, building shelters, trying to find a way away from there, all sorts of survival-y things. But what could she do? She couldn't walk, she couldn't gather berries, right now she wasn't entirely sure she could even feed herself if she had to. Her parents were right. She just wasn't capable of living on her own, away from them. She shouldn't have even tried. It was pointless.

They should've let me burn. They should've left me there. One less mouth to feed for them, one less burden to bear. Would it have hurt? Or would the smoke have suffocated me long before the fire touched me? I'd be in Heaven, right? I've been a good girl. I hardly even swear, I'm still a virgin, I've never drank or done drugs, and besides, God wouldn't send a handicapped person to Hell. I wouldn't be here, at least.

She watched the other two people in the house that she knew were disabled. Rin and Hannah. Rin was hanging close to Drew, and Hannah had Cortes and her dog. What did Esmé have? Nothing. No one. Tears started to flow from her eyes, and she let them come. Occasionally trying to wipe her tears with the blanket, she eventually cried herself to sleep.

She didn't know what was going on. The heat was rising quickly in the room...