Drip Dry

Who: Dan and Nic
Where: Down by the Lake
When: Close to Sunset

After getting the tents built, getting the shelters put up, building the fire, and escaping a burning building, Nic eventually wanted to be clean. He wanted it bad enough that he was willing to swim in the lake, just to get the smell of smoke off of him and out of his hair. He and Dan had headed down to the lakeside close to sunset, Dan's flashlight with them just in case it got dark while they were gone. With Dan standing guard, Nic didn't mind stripping down, unwilling to get his one item of clothing wet. The water lapped gently against his hips as he shivered, adjusting to the temperature. It wasn't cold, but it definitely wasn't all that warm. Dan and Izzy sat on the side, Izzy by instruction and Dan by his own free will. Nic knew Dan wanted to be clean as much as he did, probably more, but his boyfriend had sat his butt down on the shore and hadn't moved a step closer. Nic took another step into the water and it rose over his waist. One more and he'd dip himself under completely.

Dan definitely wasn't moving closer - in fact he was about as close as he was going to get to the scarily large and probably impossibly deep lake. Bottomless, he imagined. And full of things wanting to pull him under, or bite his ankles, or catch on his feet so he couldn't get back to shore. And, yes, he was jealous - he felt hideous. Dirty and sweaty and horrible. And he looked a mess - he knew he looked a mess. And stank. But that wasn't enough to get him near the lake o' death there. And so he sat on the shore and suffered - like Nic would have to suffer sleeping with a dirty, smelly boyfriend. Maybe he should offer to sleep out of the tent. Maybe he could wash off enough in the chapel sink. Or something.

Nic took one last step and dipped himself under, pushing his hair away from his face as he rose again. It might not have been warm, but it felt so damn good. "Are you sure you don't want to get in?" he asked, turning back to Dan. "Just sit barely in the water, put your feet in. I'd hold your hand." Nic was serious, even if he doubted Dan would take him up on it. He didn't have issues with Dan smelling, at least not at the moment, but he knew his boyfriend wanted to be clean. "You wouldn't have to go deeper than a foot. It would be like a bathtub. A big bathtub."

Dan shook his head no, thinking of all the things that could suddenly appear or that could happen even in shallow water. He'd seen films - he knew! It was okay for Nic, he didn't have stupid phobias which Dan's rational mind could tell him were just that - stupid. But there was still no way he was going anywhere near that water. In fact, it probably wasn't safe where he was. He edged backwards a handspan, looking nervous.

Nic saw Dan edge back and his head tilted to the side. "Baby... the water's not getting any closer," he said, and took a few steps towards Dan. When the water was at his knees standing, he knelt down, putting it back at his hips again. "See, it's not that deep. It could take less than a minute if you wanted. I'd be here the whole time. I'd never let you go." Nic knew it was a phobia, but he'd seen Dan handle a bath. He wasn't sure, if Dan was with him, if that would make it bearable. "I can even see the bottom."

Dan frowned, but shook his head again. "It's okay - I'll be fine," he told his boyfriend, putting a hand out to stroke Izzy. She was soft and comforting - though if he'd have looked, he would have seen their dog looking longingly at the water. Water meant play, it was fun and she wasn't scared. But she was well trained, so she sat just where she was and let Dan rub her ears. At least that was nice. "I'll wash up back at the chapel and everything."

"Maybe if we had a bucket," Nic said thoughtfully, sinking back again, this time with the intent to wash up. He knew Izzy would love the water, but the last thing they needed was a wet dog in their tent. And when it came to dogs, water eventually equaled mud. "When we get back, I'll help you. I can dump water over your head or something," he said with a smile. It was the best he could offer if he couldn't coax Dan into the water, and he didn't want to push too hard.

Dan twitched a smile despite himself. "You offering me a sponge bath, honey?" he joked, resting his arm over Izzy's back and leaning on her a little. He felt better with something to hold onto, and she was a guard dog, after all.

"Sure," Nic laughed, though he seriously doubted it would come to that. "If you want one. You know I'd do anything for you," Nic winked, sitting back in the water and letting his feet float out in front of him.

Don't spend too long in the water - you never know what's out there. Which Dan was not going to say - he had no wish to sound even more crazy. But he worried, even if Nic looked perfectly relaxed. He didn't know how the guy could just look like that - especially not with the sun going down. Dan clicked on the torch, even though the light wasn't quite needed yet. He felt better with the beam as he swept it over the calm waters. "Well, you can not complain if I smell tonight," he said instead. That was more acceptable.

"I won't," Nic smiled, bringing his feet down to kneel so that he could wash off properly. He might end up smelling like lake water, but he wouldn't smell like smoke and sweat. Unless they found a shower-like solution for Dan, his boyfriend was just going to have to deal, and Nic knew how he must hate that. "Do you think the house will magically be there tomorrow morning?" he asked as he washed off. It seemed highly improbable, but Nic never really knew with this sort of thing. "It seems like the scientists will make us stay outside for a bit, then give the house back." Though he was sure it would be back at some point, and he couldn't say why.

Dan raised an eyebrow. "You think they're going to rebuild the house?" he asked, doubtfully. He looked back at where the pillar of black smoke could be seen rising above the trees, the darkening sky lit with the artificial glow of the still-burning building. "I was thinking that eventually they'd get us somewhere, but rebuilding the same place? I know they've done all sorts of shit, but they'd have to dig it out and build it from the foundations up - the fire would destabilise the foundations. plus the explosion was in the medical level, which is, what? twenty-five feet underground? So they'd have to go at least that far down..." He shook his head, looking sceptical.

"I don't know," Nic said, his gaze following Dan's. "Maybe they'll rebuild it. Maybe we'll wake up somewhere else entirely. A different lake, a different hedge maze, but seemingly the same. Maybe we'll have a month in tents, but I really didn't think I was signing up for Survivor. I'm sure they'll do something though. I just don't know what. And... I have no idea how much time is really passing. I-- Hey. Could you. Could you maybe ask Sarah what the date was when she left?" It had just occurred to Nic, curious to know if they were matched up day by day, or if the scientists occasionally knocked them out for weeks.

"Course I can," Dan told him, smiling a little. He realised that was possibly the first time that Nic had really mentioned Sarah in any way that encouraged Dan to talk to the girl. Not that Dan was avoiding her on Nic's behalf or anything, but it felt nice to know that he wasn't doing anything that made his boyfriend unhappy, to have that tacit approval - or, if not approval, allowance. "I'll ask her tomorrow." because he had no intention of leaving Nic alone tonight. Not even for a moment.

Nic hadn't thought a lot about his decision, except that he knew Dan cared for Sarah, at least as a friend. Hopefully not more, but Nic was staying away from that. Besides, it wasn't like Dan was going to be off and alone with Sarah. "Okay," Nic said, giving him a small smile in return. He took a few steps out of the water, then looked around. "This is weird, not having a towel."

"Come over here, you can drip dry," Dan said, laughing a little - though the warmth was sapping out of the day. "Which do you think would be best - dirty clothes? Or cleaner-but-wet clothes?" he asked. Since all they had to wear was what they'd had on for sleeping in last night. It was all anyone had.

"I keep worrying that someone will see me. Then I remember that everyone's seen me," Nic said, rolling his eyes as he stepped out of the water. It definitely felt odd to be standing beside the lake nude. "Dirty clothes, definitely. Wearing wet boxers back just don't seem like... it's bad enough that they're all I have," Nic said with a little laugh. He'd wash them, but he really didn't want to wander back to the tents with that much of him exposed.

"Doesn't mean that they get to see you again - that's my perrogative and I don't take well to sharing," Dan said, lightly for all that he meant it. He knew how Nic felt about all of that and wanted to lift the subject a little. "Anyway, nobody's around, I've been keeping a look out." It had been a good distraction from the water, stopped him backing off any further - though watching his naked boyfriend covered in droplets currently had his entire attention.

"I don't like being shared all that much, so it works out," Nic said, walking over to Dan with a small smirk. He certainly didn't mind showing off his stuff in front of Dan, at least to tease him. And it did feel better, finding something lighter than worrying about the fact that the house had just burned down, along with everything they possessed. "What would you do if someone came around?" he asked. "Would you jump in front of me to cover me? Or should I run and hide behind a bush?"

"Well, you were all in the lake, weren't you?" Dan pointed out. "So I'd just have to chase them off while you cowered in the water. Or are you talking about now?" he asked, making a show of looking around. There was nobody there, of course - Dan couldn't even hear anyone. They'd walked for a while to get out here, for some privacy. "Maybe I'd pulled you down and lie on top of you," he teased, giving Nic a look that was practically wicked. "Or would that be too embarrassing for you?" he asked, half-seriously.

"I was talking about now," Nic laughed. Dan was right; when he'd been in the water, it was just a matter of putting his body into it. Not really an issue. But now... well, he could run back into the water, but that would mean he'd have to start drying off all over again. He liked Dan's suggestion much better. "It would only be embarrassing if you stayed long enough to make me uncomfortable," Nic said, biting back a grin as he looked down at Dan. "I'd just have to keep you there for a while, and hope the other person wandered off."

Dan picked up Nic's boxers from where they'd been lying by his side. "Or you could just get dressed," he suggested, dangling them out by one finger. He eyed Nic - the guy looked so much better all clean like that. Dan was definitely jealous. He frowned a little. "Do you think that if we walked a little way along the shore, we might be able to find a stream, or something?" he asked. "After all, the lake's got to fill up somehow, right? And empty." It seemed like a sensible suggestion. And Dan figured he could handle a stream, as long as it wasn't too deep.

"We can go look," Nic said, taking his boxers from Dan and stepping into them. While he'd prefer clean clothes, this would have to do. Wet boxers really didn't seem like fun. "I've never tried to circle the lake, but you're right. I don't think it's a completely independent body of water, because most lakes aren't. Wanna wander around it and see what we can find?" The only thing he wasn't sure of was if it was a natural lake, or one built by the scientists. If the scientists had put it there, there didn't have to be a stream. It could be filtered from below, looking natural but being not.

"We don't have to go far," Dan told him, standing and casually putting Nic between himself as the lake as they turned away from the campsite and headed in the opposite direction. He reached for Nic's hand, intertwining their fingers. "Just a little way - if we don't find anything, we'll go back and I'll wash up in the chapel." Which was probably what loads of other people were doing, hence his reluctance if it could be avoided. Anyway, there was something weird about stripping down naked in a chapel. Dan wasn't highly religious or anything, but it just felt wrong somehow.

"We can go as far as you want," Nic said, his fingers linked with Dan's. He liked being out there together and alone, being able to hold Dan's hand, and he thought that, as they made their way back to camp, he'd like to keep it up. Nic never knew when his insecurities would hit, but people had been accepting lately, and that had definitely helped. "If we can't find anything, we'll wait till there's less people crowded round the chapel. Most should be done by the time we get back." He was hoping everyone would start to get ready for bed once the sun completely set.

"There's part of me that's jealous, y'know," Dan told him as they walked. "That wished I could just go for a dip in the lake. Course," he added with a laugh. "There's a part of me that thinks you're fucking insane..."

"You could come with me," Nic said, looking at Dan with a mischievous little smile. "You could wrap your legs around my waist, your arms around my neck, and I wouldn't let you go. Course, if you think I'm insane, I'm not sure that would help any," Nic chuckled. "But if you wanted to try, I'd do anything I could to encourage you. I'd never let you drown, or let anything get you."

"If I did that, the moment we got in the water, I'd probably choke you to death," Dan said, with all seriousness. "You ever seen anyone have a panic attack? It's not a pretty sight... Anyway, I cry and scream and it's all a mess - I'd probably drown just because I'd lose the sense to stand up in two foot of water - and that's after I cling on to you so tight that you collapse and you drown in two foot of water because you're unconscious from my clinging. Really, it's a recipe for disaster." Unfortunately, in this, Dan wasn't being a drama queen - his phobia really was that bad.

Nic stopped and tugged on Dan's hand, pulling him around to give him a soft kiss on the lips. "I just learned to appreciate how lucky I am to take baths with you," Nic said with a soft smile. He hadn't at the time, even though Dan had said he was afraid of water. Nic didn't have a phobia quite like that, so it was hard to relate. His panic attacks were brought on by things a bit more personal, things that he never thought he'd experience, yet randomly happened in a house like this... or... tents now? "We'll figure something out. No lakes for you."

Dan returned the kiss, then drew back. "I know you probably think it's stupid... I've just... I don't even know what causes it. I've just always been terrified of deep water." He did, in fact, get twitchy in a bath if he was alone. In fact, he'd never taken a bath on his own. Never. And he doubted he ever would. The idea of voluntarily spending time lying in water, for the hell of it? Why? Why would anyone do that?

"I don't think anyone knows why a phobia is a phobia. And it is so because there's no logic behind it. That's just the way it is. Some people are terrified of spiders, some of snakes. I'm not overly fond of rats, though I don't know if it's a phobia." Nic wasn't the sort to cry and scream over rats, though he did have a tendency to think they were going to take over the world or eat him alive. Illogical, yes, but in a very different way. Just mentioning them made him shudder.

"I know you're not, honey," Dan said, giving his hand a little squeeze. He remembered that Nic had been relieved that he hadn't been in the house for the infestation. No, instead he just got hung naked attached to meat a few times - greaaaaat... he thought, sceptically. But then he was distracted as there was the sound of running water up ahead. Maybe they'd found their stream.

"You hear that?" Nic asked, sure that Dan did, the reason for the stop in conversation. He wanted there to be a little stream more than anything, because he knew Dan wanted to be clean. Even if they didn't have shampoo or soap, it would make a difference. "I think you're in luck," he said, flashing a smile at Dan.

"As long as it doesn't turn out to be a raging river," Dan added - though it didn't sound like it. The sound of water was more like a quite melody and to Dan's untrained ear that didn't suggest anything too big. He picked up speed though, following the sounds.

"I think, if there was a raging river around here, we'd have heard about it," Nic said. He wasn't sure why he thought that, but he did. For one, there would have been more movement on the lake, and when he'd seen it it had always looked relatively still. It would have also indicated an input of the same proportions. No, Nic was pretty sure this was a stream, and as they picked up pace, their suspicions were quickly confirmed. It was a little stream, but definitely enough for Dan to use. He looked at his boyfriend to see if he was comfortable with it. It certainly didn't seem intimidating to him.

Dan stopped as they came within sight of the stream, which was little more than a brook flowing down a shallow hill into the lake. He approached it with caution, holding Nic's hand and taking him with him, but it was neither wide nor very deep, the water playing over a smoothly stony bottom that didn't look to be more than a foot below the surface of the water at its deepest. The banks of the stream were grassy and overhanging the fairly fast flowing water. Dan looked from the stream to Nic. "Okay," he said, determinedly. This was better, much better, than the lake.

"We didn't have to go too far," Nic said, pleased with that. They could have wandered around the perimeter forever and not found one. Luckily they'd chosen the right direction. "Would you rather I keep watch or go in with you?" Nic had the feeling he'd be following Dan into the little stream, but that didn't bother him. He'd said he'd be there and he would, no matter what body of water Dan was willing to tackle. Of course, he'd draw the line at the kitchen sink.

Dan considered this. "Maybe you could sit on the bank?" he suggested, feeling like a complete wimp. What kind of a guy had troubles with a stream? But there could be fish in there - and didn't some of them bite? He took a hold of himself, trying to stop his imagination running away with him and instead stripped off his clothes and took a step towards the stream, attempting to concentrate on how good being clean was going to feel.

"Whatever you want," Nic offered, taking a seat as close to the water as he could without getting himself wet again. He was able to put his feet in, which felt good, even if the water was a little bit cool. The point, he reminded himself, was to be clean. "Have you always been afraid?" he asked Dan. It was something he was curious about, another one of those many details he still didn't know. He just hoped that Dan would be comfortable answering.

Dan stepped carefully down into the water - which, in his opinion, was cold - biting his lip a little as he did so. He stopped as he got both feet into the water and stood there, throwing Nic a glance that almost looked like he wanted reassurance for a moment, before taking a breath and kneeling, the water coming up to the bottom of his chest. He was getting used to the chill now, almost as if the water was warming up slightly and he turned fully back to Nic. "As long as I can remember," he admitted, as comfortable with talking as he could be, given the circumstances. It helped some, he knew, having Nic sat right there and he started scooping the water up and pouring it over his shoulders. He wanted to do his hair, but he could't work out how to do that without putting his head under the water, which was not going to be happening.

"I didn't know if there was a traumatic experience or if it was just there. Not that it matters," Nic said, offering Dan a smile. "Sometime I'll have to tell you about me learning to swim. Sometime when you're not in the water." Nic wasn't sure that Dan would want to hear it when he was dealing with his own water issues, even if pools were considerably larger than streams. He could tell from the way Dan moved that he really wasn't all that comfortable with the situation, but it was all they had to work with. "Let me know if you need any help," Nic told him. "I really don't mind getting in again." Even if it was cold.

"I'm fine," Dan said, a little too quickly, then winced. Nic was only being nice, as always. "Sorry," he apologised as he rubbed himself down, black water flowing off downstream as the soot came off him in rivulets. He wished it was as easy to clean out his throat, his lungs, which felt dirty and burnt from the smoke. "I might need some help with my hair," he admitted, quietly. He felt like such a failure - he couldn't even wash himself properly.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Nic told him, and he really believed it. When he thought about all the different times Dan had helped him through things, this was nothing by comparison. Nic stood and pulled his boxers off before wading out into the water. Now it did feel cold, but if Dan could bear it, so could he. "Look up and I'll pour it over your head," Nic said, cupping water in his hands. "So... Has Sarah cut your hair before?" Nic asked. She'd done a good job, something he could appreciate when he wasn't being jealous of the fact that she'd done it and not him.

Dan closed his eyes and looked up, resting one hand on the floor of the stream as he gave himself over to Nic. "No," he said, hurriedly - not wanting to get a mouthful of stream water by speaking too much.

Nic poured the water over Dan's head, trying to keep it out of his eyes if possible. He did it twice, then stopped to run his fingers through Dan's hair. "She really did a good job," he said, completely believing that, but also knowing it was something Dan would like to hear.

Dan spluttered a little, even if that much water didn't get into his face. He tried to tell himself it was just like a shower, but it wasn't and his mind couldn't be fooled, yet he refused to make a complete and utter tit out of himself by panicking right now. He would not lose it, naked in the middle of a foot deep stream in front of his boyfriend, damnit! And then a length of weed floated down and brushed against Dan's thigh as he knelt in the water and he shrieked and jumped up, not giving any mind to whether he would unbalance Nic as he scrambled for the shore.

Nic wasn't sure what happened, or if he'd been the cause of it, but one second Dan was fine and the next he was jumping up so fast that Nic fell backwards, his eyes wide and focused on Dan. Falling onto his ass in one foot of water was nothing. His concern was for Dan, who made his way to the shore by any means possible. Nic followed quickly after, dripping wet, but otherwise fine. "Are you okay?" he asked, hurrying to his boyfriend's side.

Dan heard the splash behind him, but he didn't look round until he was safely on the bank, pulling himself up out of the water and onto the grass. Only then did he turn to see a very wet Nic following him. "There - there was something in the water," he said, looking frightened and wide eyed at the innocent little stream that carried on regardless in the remaining light of the setting sun. He picked up the flashlight and shone the beam down into the water, as though he expected to see something.

Nic looked back at the stream, shadows casting over it with the last light of the sun. Dan's flashlight lit it up far better, but there was still nothing to be seen. Nic wasn't even sure there'd been something to begin with, but he wasn't going to question it. "Maybe just a fish. Or a leaf. It's okay," he said, taking Dan's hand. "Do you feel better?" he asked. "Any cleaner?" Because at this point, he doubted Dan would be getting back in the water. He'd have to find a better solution than this. Nic wondered what kind of work it would take to build a shower.

Dan was staring at the water still and breathing heavily. After a moment, he dropped the beam and sagged, closing his eyes. The idea that it had been a fish? Was not comforting. It could have been one of those biting types. Like a pike or something - they had big teeth and Dan was sure they'd been known to attack people. It took him a moment, but he realised that possibly Nic was waiting for an answer to his question. He nodded. "Yeah - cleaner," he said, because he definitely didn't feel any better.

Slowly, Nic wrapped his arms around Dan, pressing his chest to his back as he kissed Dan's shoulder. He wanted to comfort him, make the fear go away, but he didn't know how. He didn't quite understand the fear, didn't really get that fish were scary, and it left him feeling like all he could do was be there for Dan. Hopefully that would be enough. "It's getting dark," he said, his hands rubbing down Dan's arms. "We should get back."

Dan nodded again, taking deep breaths to try and force himself to calm down. Nic's touch helped, gave him something else to concentrate on, and slowly his breathing steadied and slowed and he straightened a little and opened his eyes. He swallowed and reached for his pyjama bottoms, the only clothes he had - now damp where he'd been less than cautious leaping out of the stream. He shuffled round a little and pulled them on, sitting in the grass. "We should get back," he agreed. He wanted to say more, but didn't have the words to express things right now. He just hoped Nic would understand that.

Nic pulled on his boxers, saying nothing about the fact that they were slightly damp. He was as well, and it didn't matter. They'd both be dry by the time they returned to camp. And even if they weren't his boxers were blue and it was definitely getting dark. Finding Dan's hand with his own, Nic was ready to lead the way, so long as Dan would shine the flash light ahead. "I think I can make a shower," Nic said softly after a few minutes. His mind had been stirring on it, spinning in circles, and he was pretty sure it was doable. Manual, but that hardly mattered.

Dan shook his head in the failing light. "Doesn't matter, honey - some things are more important," he said. He just felt miserable about this whole thing. He just wanted to find their tent, curl up, go to sleep and hope this was all a bad, bad dream.

Nic squeezed Dan's hand, wishing he knew what to say to make it all better. If he could have protected him, he would have, but Nic wasn't all that used to dealing with a fear of water. The hard part was, everything he could think of would probably make Dan feel stupid, and that wasn't what he was aiming for at all.

Dan stepped in to bump his shoulder against Nic's, before slipping an arm around his waist. "This is the point where I'm normally ask you to take me home..." Except today their home had burnt to the ground. He didn't need to add that. "I guess... Take me back to our tent? Boyscout?" The joke fell flat, but he'd tried.

"I can do that," Nic said, giving Dan a little smile. He knew Dan was trying, and if he could try, Nic could make it worth it. "I'll even tuck you into our little sleeping bag. You don't mind being in confined spaces with me, do you?" With one sleeping bag for the two of them, they weren't going to have much room at all. A better plan would be to unzip it all and open it up, giving them something soft to sleep on, but at the moment, Nic wanted Dan that close to him.

Dan gave him a little squeeze. "Honey - is that a question when you've had to put up with me wrapping myself around you every night for the past few weeks?" he asked. Dan had a habit of sleeping entwined with his partner, very much the cuddly type. He doubted that sharing space would be a problem for him at all. As long as they weren't those super small mummy-type sleeping bags that were hardly wide enough for your shoulders, of course.

"You never know," Nic smiled. "That was when we had a whole bed to spread out in. I'm not complaining, though. I happen to enjoy having you wrapped around me." Nic enjoyed having Dan there with him, even if it wasn't something that he'd experienced all that many times before. How different they were, looking at their past relationships... though Nic was starting to realize how little he knew about Dan's. "Can I ask you something?" Nic said, looking over at Dan as he led the way back to camp.

"Course you can," Dan said, without hesitation. Nic could ask him anything, anything at all. He shone the torchlight onto the path in front of them, wending their way through the trees, diverting a little away from the lake now to take a meandering path through the darkened branches, choosing the easy route.

"You were dating someone before me... right?" Nic asked, looking over at Dan, then the path ahead. "What happened?" Because, while he knew things didn't work out, he suspected that Dan had been better at relationships than he had been. In fact, Nic wouldn't even call his past relationships actual relationships. They didn't even compare to what he had with Dan. Hell, they didn't compare to what he had with Zhen.

Dan didn't answer straight away, thought the answer was easy enough. It just took him a minute or two to get up the guts to say it - but it needed to be said. "Sarah happened," he said, hoping to all hell that Nic didn't freak. He knew that there'd been something between him and Sarah. He knew they'd slept together - Dan was fairly sure that he at least intimated it had broken up his last relationship, even if he hadn't come out and said it. And he was too tired to beat around the bush right now.

Nic bit his lip and nodded, the thought having come to him before, but he was making a point not to assume. He wasn't sure what it meant, wasn't sure he wanted to know, but then, how could he not ask? "Do you... um." Nic paused, then shook his head. "I guess I could have figured that out," Nic sighed. He wasn't sure what to say. It was all kind of raw, with Sarah's recent arrival. It would have been so much easier to talk about without her being there.

Dan stopped then, still in the trees, in the dark - not wanting to walk back into the campsite having this conversation. It was too much. He backed Nic to the side of the path - not off it, because neither of them were wearing anything on their feet and the undergrowth was spiky, if not truly treacherous. "Pete and I - that was his name - we'd been living together for a while," he said, trying to sort out the best way to say this without thinking about it enough to leave a long silence. "He never liked Sarah - I spent too much time with her, I talked about her too much... I - I never thought anything of it. She was just my friend." That had been truly how he'd felt at the time. "I never... Pete had very strong opinions about infidelity. And I wouldn't lie to him. I made a mistake. We broke up." It sounded so easy, said like that. In the dark. Bereft of any emotion. It hadn't been like that at all, of course. He could still remember the shouting, the arguments, the vilification. It had been horrible. Terrible and traumatic.

Nic didn't let him go, let him talk, his fingers still linked with Dan's. He'd never been on the bad side of a break up, never had his heart broken, but now that he knew what it felt like to love someone, it was something he'd like to avoid. He couldn't imagine what he'd do if he'd been in Pete's place, didn't want to think about it. Would he have let Dan go? Just the thought made his stomach knot in fear and misery. He wasn't sure he could do it, not any more than he could have accepted Dan might want someone other than him. "Did you love him?" Nic asked softly. Then another thought occurred to him, one he liked far less. "Did you love her?" And do you still? I know you said you'd always choose me, but do you still?

Nic's first question was easy. "Yeah, I loved him," he admitted. The second - not so much. "I, Sarah..." He trailed off. Why should one be harder to answer than the other? They were both the same length of time ago. He'd left Sarah at the same time as he'd left Pete - there should be no difference, surely? Except that Pete no longer wanted to give him the time of day and Sarah... He knew that look in her eyes. It was different, for all they weren't talking about it. "Maybe," he admitted, after a time. "I don't know - possibly?" It was as near to the truth as he could bring himself. He had done, at one point, he knew. But then everything had got so confused. The lines of friendship - between loving someone and being in love with them - had blurred and he'd become uncertain about everything.

It was hard to hear, but it was better than a lie, and Nic realized he'd have known the lie if it had fallen from Dan's lips. If Dan didn't know, Nic thought it was because he didn't want to know, and that was better than wanting it by far. Nic took a deep breath, barely able to see Dan's eyes in the fading light, yet they were on him. "If you ever need to talk about it," Nic said, licking his lips. "I'm here. Okay?" As much as being Dan's lover, he wanted to be his best friend. He wanted to be there for him, not run him off. They'd brought Sarah into the house, and they'd brought her there for a reason. Nic didn't know what, but he knew nothing would have come of one of his old girlfriends being there, nothing other than them throwing things at him perhaps, a completely different reaction.

Dan reached up with a hand to cup Nic's cheek. "Thank you, honey," he whispered, though he doubted he'd ever take him up on that. It wasn't that he couldn't talk to his boyfriend, but that if he had something that needed to be sorted out, he wasn't going to bring the guy pain by doing it in front of him. He doubted that talking about exes was very healthy for current relationships, and he knew he wouldn't feel comfortable doing it. But he appreciated the gesture all the same. And he appreciated what it must have cost Nic to make that offer. He stepped in to brush a kiss over his lips in the darkness. "Come on - let's get back. It's getting cold," he said, taking Nic's hand again and starting them back down the path. It wasn't far to go to the campsite now.

Nic closed his eyes as Dan kissed him, enjoying the short brush of Dan's lips against his own. His body was warm, and when he withdrew, Nic felt the cold more than he had before. It couldn't just be because Dan had mentioned it, though with partially wet boxers, it couldn't be helping. "I can't believe I didn't put on pants," Nic said with a small smile. "You know, you think differently when you're running for your life. Managed to grab the bat though." If he looked at that closely, he'd see why. Nic's safety and a need for protection ranked higher than his modesty level. As much as he hated lacking pants, he'd go without them so long as he felt safe doing so.

"Priorities," Dan agreed. "I think boxers are a good look on you," Dan told him. Nic didn't have a body to be ashamed of, after all. "Come on, let's get back," he added as Izzy sensed they were nearly back and went bounding away into the darkness, before realising they weren't there with her and coming back for them, wagging her tail frantically.

"Thanks," Nic said with a small laugh. If he'd been in any other sort of underwear, he probably would have grabbed pants. He smiled as Izzy came back for them, excited to be back to camp. Ahead Nic could see the light of the fire and his fingers squeezed lightly around Dan's, deciding not to let go. Clothes or not, at least they had each other.