Forgotten Weaknesses

Who: Nic and Dan
Where: Their Room
When: Afternoon

It was a slow day and Nic was loving it. It was the first in a long time that he was able to fall back into his routine. He woke at 8am, then went down to work out. There was a shower, then breakfast, then checking the computer. That was always something he liked to put off just a touch, due to the fact that it usually brought bad news. He'd rather not have that first thing in the morning if he could help it and today it just had to wait. That done, he found some time to practice the piano. He was actually sounding better, some of the more simple songs flowing together the way they should. He'd gone down for lunch, then returned to his room to read a book. It was boring, he was lazy, and he wasn't trekking through the woods on an unplanned hike. He loved it.

Dan had had an equally lazy day - and had been responsible for once, actually going down to see Dave to have his fingers checked out. He'd figured that he should do, since they'd taken quite a beating over the past few days and they were hurting more than they should. All seemed okay though, but the doctor had given him some slightly stronger painkillers, along with a lecture about taking more care - as if you could around this place - and that had been that. That done, Dan had headed back up to their room to stash the pills. He hadn't actually expected to find Nic there, but, as always, it was a pleasant surprise. "Hey honey - I'm home," he joked. Because, really, he could and that was all the excuse he needed.

"Hey," Nic smiled, laying his book down on his chest to look over at Dan. He'd thought this would be awkward, officially living together, but it was actually much more comfortable and convenient. It let them share in the little, quiet moments of the day, the times when Nic wouldn't have sought Dan out for no real reason. "What have you been up to?" he asked. In this house, it could be practically anything, but his eyes dropped to the object in Dan's hand, the inquiry silent rather than pressing.

Dan held up the little bottle. "Been being a good boy and went to the doc to get my fingers checked out," Dan told him. "Apparently they're healing a little slower than they should do - probably because I've, er, been kinda lax taking care of them - but they're getting there. And he gave me some elephant-strength pain killers as well."

Nic frowned a little and sat up on the bed, completely setting his book aside now. "Do you need elephant-strength pain killers?" he asked, worrying. Dan hadn't been taking care of his fingers. Nic knew this, but he hadn't enforced anything, as he'd thought they were healing, but now he was far more concerned. "Let me tape them up for you," Nic said, patting the side of the bed.

Dan sat down beside Nic. "No need - doc did that earlier. And it's just cos they've been hurting more since yesterday. But I'll be all good, I promise."

Glancing down at Dan's hand, he could see the fresh tape and the professional wrapping job. Nic's might not have looked quite as good, but attending the first aid meeting had definitely helped. "Okay," Nic said, one finger tracing over the back of his hand. "You couldn't avoid it yesterday, I guess."

"No," Dan agreed. "Let's just hope we don't get any more yesterdays." He cradled the small bottle of pills in his other hand, his gaze going from his hand, to the bottle, to Nic's face. "Honey," he asked slowly. "Honey - I was wondering if we could talk about the blue pills..." He knew Zhen had them, and he knew that Nic hadn't mentioned a thing about them since they were taken off him and whilst Dan hadn't mentioned it either, that didn't mean that he'd forgotten about it.

It wasn't the yesterdays Nic worried about; it was the tomorrows. His stomach sank with Dan's words and his eyes dropped to the bed. It was almost as if Dan knew his reaction from the day before, the way he'd craved the escape when Dan hadn't been there at all. There was that wild, sinking fear that eventually he'd crack and he'd need them again. With Dan around, that fear had subsided. "Okay," he said eventually, looking up at Dan nervously. He hadn't forgotten that the last time they'd been mentioned, Nic had been dangerously close to overdosing on them.

Dan noted Nic's body language and almost backed off. Almost. But he wasn't going to - he knew they had to talk about this, and best to do it when there was nothing looming. Actually, that was a nice thought - between them, finally, there was nothing looming. Which was why Dan hadn't brought this subject up before. He smiled a little and shuffled round behind Nic, draping his legs around him, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his head on his shoulder. "It's okay," he said, reassuringly. "I just need to know."

Nic scooted down a touch and laid back, his head resting comfortably on Dan's chest. He trusted Dan with so much, with things he never thought he'd say or do, and he knew Dan would never use that against him. But his drug use prior to moving into the house was something they didn't talk about. Nic would have liked it to fade out completely, but after yesterday morning he knew that wasn't as likely to happen as he'd hoped. "I know," he said. "It's just not something I'm real proud of." Nic closed his eyes, one hand laying over Dan's. "What did you want to know?"

"Everything?" Dan suggested, his tone light. "What, why, how long?" He paused, a hand going up to stroke Nic's hair in what he hoped was a soothing manner. "Okay - you told me you don't know what they are. Start there," he suggested.

Having a starting point helped considerably, as such open questions were daunting. Nic closed his eyes for a second, allowing Dan's touch to do it's job before he started in, fearful of where this would go, but trusting Dan to listen without too much judgment. "You know I was unhappy. With my job. With my life. With everything. I got to where I was going out almost every night. I drank... a lot. And then one of my friends-- or just a guy in the club that I saw often-- offered me a pill. It was a better escape, minus the hangover," he said, frowning gently. "I didn't ask a lot of questions. I should have."

"When was this?" Dan asked him. "How long ago?" He kept his voice calm, open, keeping all the worry he felt firmly locked inside. Nic didn't need to know about that right now, it'd only clam him up, make it harder for him to talk. Instead, Dan concentrated on his hand playing in Nic's hair. His positioning in all of this had been deliberate - behind Nic so that he could hold him. Behind Nic so that his boyfriend couldn't see his face.

Nic sighed, his answers coming slowly. This was harder for him than Dan could possibly know, as it reminded Nic of the reason he'd run in the first place. Nic hadn't joined the experiment just to get away from his family and his job. There were other reasons, darker than he wanted to remember. "About a month before I came here," he said, "Maybe more, maybe less. Two months?" It all blended together after a while. Nic got to the point where he'd take a pill before going to bed, or before going out. It was a quick way to lose contact with reality. It wasn't till later that he realized how poorly alcohol seemed to mix with the medication, or whatever it was.

Dan nodded, unseen. "How often?" he asked, softly, coaxing answers out of Nic. There was so much more he wanted to know, wanted to reel off a multitude of questions, all at once, but he knew that wouldn't help anything. In all honesty, he'd been greatly encouraged in this by the fact that Nic hadn't mentioned the pills. Not once recently. And Dan wasn't going to question that.

"Once or twice a week, at first. By the time I came here, almost every day," Nic said, his body shifting so that he could wrap an arm around Dan, his head still laying on his chest. He wouldn't look up right now, but he wanted to be able to hold Dan just as Dan was holding him. He wanted to make sure he didn't disappear. Nic remembered how abruptly he'd stopped using the pills, how he'd scrambled to try and find out what they were, what they might have driven him to do. He'd not even been off them a full week when he entered the house.

Dan was quiet for a long time after that, though the stroking motion didn't falter for a minute. "....And now?" he asked, his voice small, almost as if he were afraid of the answer. Which he was, a little. Afraid that Nic was just biding his time until he could get them back from Zhen, maybe. Dan on a rational level didn't think that was the case. There'd been no sign, but Dan wasn't always particularly rational.

"I took one the night I was hung up in the meat locker," Nic said, his voice dropping to a whisper. "And a handful the morning you and Zhen found me." Just thinking of it send chills over his entire body, the hair on his arms standing up with the goosebumps. He hadn't even realized how close he could have been to dying. It'd been stupid, and so foolish, but he'd panicked. "I hadn't thought of them since... until yesterday morning."

Dan had been nodding along - he'd know about both of those, probably one of the few people who did. But then... "Yesterday morning?" he asked, confused, his hand stilling in Nic's hair. That hadn't been expected - and that got Dan's paranoia screaming.

Nic squeezed his eyes shut, sensing the difference, the stilling of Dan's hand. Maybe he shouldn't have said so, but Dan had been asking. And really... Dan should probably know. Nic thought the problem had been taken care of until then, but it was possible it was just laying dormant instead. "I thought I'd lost you," he said softly. "I'd lost everything."

As someone who hadn't bought into yesterday's 'test' even for a minute, Dan couldn't appreciate just how bad it could have been for someone who didn't see straight through it. But he did know that Nic had thought, at first, that he'd dreamt everything here. He knew that - what he hadn't known was that Nic considered that this place was 'everything'. And what that said about his life previously. Dan had known he'd been unhappy, but this was something else. "I'm... Not everything," he said, his voice very little more than a whisper as he waited for Nic to tell him that wasn't what he'd meant anyway.

Nic's arms tightened slightly, holding Dan tighter. He didn't expect Dan to understand. From what he'd heard, Dan had a family who loved him for who he was, friends that knew him, a job he loved, and days to look forward to. He'd been happy, but with minor setbacks, and had come to kind of collect his mind. Though the end reason may have been the same, Nic had been far more unstable than he'd been willing to admit. "You are," Nic said softly, frowning at Dan's argument. "For none of this to exist, where would that leave me? I had nothing, Baby. I love you, and I thought... I just panicked."

Dan couldn't deny that the thought of all this not being real was a hideously horrible one and his hold of Nic tightened a little in response. Even though he knew it wasn't possible. But he wouldn't give in to Nic's paranoia - he had to be the strong one here. There always needed to be a strong one and right now, Dan was it. He knew there'd come a day when he needed Nic to be the strong, reasonable, supportive one. "It would leave you knowing what changes you needed to make," he said, quietly. "Even without me - it'd leave you knowing that you can't keep on with that job, that you need to change that. It'd leave you knowing that living your life to make other people happy isn't good enough. You'd have a start to start making changes to your life." A life without me. Oh God - that's a fucking horrible feeling...

Nic gave a little nod to Dan's words as he let them soak in. There were things he'd learned here, lessons he could take back to better his life. He just couldn't imagine doing it without Dan in tow. It wasn't really something to worry about, as Dan was still there, he'd always been there, and he wasn't going anywhere. It had all been a joke. A horrible joke. "I have to make changes anyways. I just thought I'd have you there with me." Nic was silent for a moment, eventually relaxing his hold just the slightest. "It wasn't real though. You're here."

"I am," Dan agreed, pausing before he continued on, really not wanting to say this next, but knowing that avoiding the subject wouldn't help at all. "Honey - yesterday... Was it because I was gone, or because you thought I'd never been here?"

"If you were just gone, I could find you. January's a long way off, but I know you'll be there," Nic said, and pressed a small kiss to Dan's chest, his face pressed against it. "If you were never there, if you were all in my head... What do I do if I can't tell the difference between a dream and reality? I wanted the dream back."

Dan visibly relaxed at that, letting out tension that he knew he'd been holding. He'd needed to hear that - he'd needed to know that Nic wasn't going to lose it entirely if they woke up one morning and Dan found he'd been removed. "Honey - you couldn't have dreamed me. You would never have dreamed me - for a start, if I was a dream, I'd have tits and a pussy," he teased, giving in to a need to lighten the topic, just slightly, though he wasn't completely done with being serious just yet.

That got Nic to smile, mostly because he'd never imagined hearing Dan use words like that. That came with growing more comfortable with one another, he knew, but it still amused him. "You think so?" Nic asked, looking up at him. "Maybe if I dreamed you in the first place, but now I think you'd look rather silly with tits. Plus, I'm growing rather fond of you just the way you are. I wouldn't trade you, Baby." Even for the convienence that it would bring, Nic couldn't imagine having Dan any different. Wouldn't want it, in fact.

"Ahh, but isn't that what you thought?" Dan asked, raising an eyebrow. "That you'd dreamt me in the first place? That I was all a product of your imagination? What do you do if you think you can't tell the difference? And I'm telling you, you'd never have dreamed me. At least, not then - and now you don't need to." He reached in to give him a little kiss, then drew back, looking a little more serious. "So, if I was gone tomorrow - really gone, removed - you'd be okay?" he asked, looking him in the eyes with an intentness that suggested that Dan thought that if he stared hard enough, he'd be able to read the answer there.

That was all true, but Nic, in a panic, hadn't been thinking that rationally. He'd have figured it out eventually, but if the room had been real, he'd have been too drugged to care by the time that realization hit home. "No," Nic answered, "But I'd have hope. And I'd have Zhen here to keep me sane while I waited for January to get here. And even if I didn't have her, I'd know you were out there, waiting." He couldn't commit to being 'okay' though, not initially. If Dan disappeared tonight, or any other night, he'd be distraught, even knowing he'd see him again.

"And the drugs..." Dan asked, trying to keep his tone calm, even though inside he was flailing more than a little over Nic's answer. The flailing was a little hypocritical because he knew that he wouldn't be okay either, if Nic suddenly wasn't here. He'd be devastated, for all they had a plan. But he could mentally justify the difference in that he wouldn't be reaching for a bottle of pills if things got too much to handle. He glanced over at the pain killers he'd been given - he hadn't even taken any of them yet, he had to wonder if he actually would. He wasn't a big fan of pills, even when they had a reason.

"I don't have them anymore," Nic said, though he knew that wasn't a solution. "I... I don't want them. I know I don't. I don't intend to hurt myself, but I know I start to think that the pain will be a little less, and... I don't like what they do to me." None of that was comforting though, and Nic wasn't sure what he could say that would be. Until the blue pills, he'd never thought to use drugs to make him feel better. He'd never even consider using Dan's pain killers. There was an associate there, that the blue pills would take the pain away. He'd wanted to break that, and had mostly, for there was always the knowledge that he could wake up to something much worse.

"I know," Dan said, softly, leaning in and wrapping his arms tightly around Nic, cheek to cheek. "I just worry - I don't like what they did to you either. Honey - what if I wasn't the one to be removed? What if it was you? Would that make a difference?" he asked, unable to drop the subject.

"I don't know," Nic said, brow furrowing. "On one hand, I wouldn't just lose you. I'd lose everyone here. I'd have no one there to help me through, cause I know the ones I left behind wouldn't. But... I could also work at finding a better job. At setting up a place to live, and preparing things for when I see you again. I think, if I had a plan, that wouldn't be quite so terrifying." Nic knew one thing for sure: he wouldn't go back to Houston. The man who'd sold him the drugs was there. His family was there. His old job, old friends, and unhappy memories were there. The best way to make a fresh start would be to go anywhere else. He'd only come back to meet Dan on New Year's Day.

"A plan would be good," Dan agreed. A plan was something positive, something to focus on. Possibly they could both do with plans. "Okay," he said, smiling a little. "Tell me your plan. Really - I want to know. What would you do?" he asked, upbeat and interested.

Nic took a deep breath. "I'd move to England, cause... well, where would you want to be? I'd find a job, but I need to figure out what I want to do before I get stuck in that position. I'd get an apartment. I think. I want... Well, I want to know what you'd want, cause I'd be waiting on you," Nic said, looking up at Dan. He liked the idea of a plan, but he needed help putting it together.

Dan had been playing a little when he'd asked, building castles in the sky, even though the question had been serious enough. He was floored by Nic's response and blinked a few times, his expression one of surprise tinted with a burgeoning smile. "You'd... You'd do that?" he asked, hesitantly. "I mean - you'd move to England? For me?"

Nic didn't know why Dan was so surprised. They lived together now and, though it was still new, he couldn't imagine having it any other way. He certainly wouldn't go to the US if he thought Dan was going to be in England. That was just too damn far. "Of course," he said with a smile. "I'd want to be where you are. So long as we can have Mexican food once in a while, I'm good with it," he teased.

"But..." Dan started, not really arguing, just still surprised. He hadn't really thought about it, it made sense - he'd known that they'd be together, he just hadn't overly thought of where they'd be together. And he really hadn't expected Nic to just up and volunteer to shift half way round the world, as if it were the most obvious thing ever. "You wouldn't mind?" he finished a little more quietly, not able to think of anything else to follow the 'but'.

"No," Nic said, a little less confident than before. Now he wasn't sure that Dan wanted it at all, if maybe he was moving a bit too fast. "I'd want to be near you," he said, feeling a bit like he needed to give an explanation. "And I don't want to be in Houston. I want to get away from everything I left behind. I could go somewhere else in the US, but if you're in England, then... I want to be near you," he said again, not sure what else he needed to say.

Dan heard the creeping doubt enter Nic's tone and recognised it straight away for what it was - they'd been through this type of thing before, after all. He leaned in and kissed him softly. "Honey, I want to be near you too," he told him. "I just... I'm a little floored that you'd move thousands of miles to a country you hardly know, that you'd leave everything behind... And you'd do it just to wait for me. I..." He smiled, helplessly, not having the words to finish that sentence and actually have it express how he felt.

Nic's heart slowed back to normal as Dan kissed him, finding that calmed him down almost immediately. He always forgot that this was how Dan showed surprise, that he wasn't showing doubt so much as awe. "If I was set on being in... in Oregon, would you move there for me?" he asked, smiling with his eyes. "Not that I'd expect you to wait in Oregon, but... I don't want to go home. I'd rather go to where you want to be eventually. I could get settled in, or try to. And then you'd have a place to come home to." Chills ran up his arms, just realizing how much this meant to him. He wouldn't be scared of it though. This was what he wanted.

"Of course I would - not that I really know where Oregon is, but..." Dan told him. "It's not that, it's... I guess I'm a little surprised that you'd be willing to go there ahead of me. I - want to be with you, but I'm not sure I could do that. It's... scary. Daunting. I could do a new place, but I'd want you there to hold my hand. I guess I'm just not good at being alone." He snuggled up to his boyfriend. "I like the idea of somewhere to come home to though."

"It would be a bad idea for me to go home," Nic said softly, wishing he didn't have to spell that out for Dan. "The things I left behind... they were bad for me, Baby. I'd be better off setting up a new life somewhere foreign, waiting for your arrival. I don't-- I don't want to fall back into what I left." It would be so easy, if he went back to Houston, to track down the people he needed to ruin his life once more. He didn't even want to be tempted. He wanted things to be perfect, if he could manage it.

"But - you want to go back there some day?" Dan asked, seeking clarification on that. "I mean - your family..." he trailed off. Surely Nic wanted to go back to see them. Dan couldn't imagine not doing. That would have been the hardest part, had he been the one looking at relocating - leaving his family behind.

"I don't know," Nic said sadly. "They'll be... disappointed." That didn't even begin to capture what he thought their reaction would be. It would have been hard enough telling them he refused to take over the family business, that it would be passed on to someone else. Now he'd also have to tell them he was with Dan. He wasn't going to hide it, but that wasn't a conversation he was looking to have.

Dan frowned slightly. "Honey - that's not a reason not to go back," he said, chiding a little. "You can't just disappear - they're your family. And maybe they'll surprise you," he offered. He knew something about Nic's relationship with his family - and he wasn't entirely dense. He knew that they weren't exactly going to welcome Nic's lifestyle choices with open arms, but Dan held out faith that it wasn't entirely hopeless.

"I'd need you there with me," Nic said. Maybe he could do it if Dan was there, holding his hand. Or maybe the hand holding would make things worse. If his family said anything that hurt Dan, Nic wasn't sure he could bear it. But then, Dan had thicker skin when it came to these things. That, or he turned into a bitch, which Nic didn't mind, so long as it wasn't aimed at him. "Maybe they will. I don't know. I'm nothing they wanted."

"Honey, I'll be any place you want me to be," Dan told him, going back to stroking his head. "You want me there and I'l be with you every step of the way." The promise was made with passion, but also worded in such a way as to appreciate that Nic might not want him there. Might find it easier to approach some things without the blatant, possibly inflammatory, evidence standing right beside him, holding his hand. "And don't say it like that - you make it sound like you think you're a disappointment. I'm sure you're not - you are who you are. Who could ask for anything more?"

Nic could answer that in a heartbeat- his parents could ask for more. He'd felt like he was a disappointment long before he added his sexuality to the list. Maybe if his brothers weren't busy upping the bar on a daily basis, it wouldn't be so hard. "It's more complicated than that," Nic said, frowning. "I've been brought up to do what they want me to do. Deviating, especially so drastically, will... I don't know. I don't see them handling that well."

Dan sighed slightly and drew Nic down so they were lying on the bed, before draping himself across his boyfriend. "I'm sorry, honey," he said, feeling honestly guilty - because he knew he had a lot to do with that. There was no denying that 'hey mom, I have a boyfriend!' was quite the bomb to drop - in fact it could be said that it put 'hey, I don't want to work in the family business anymore' well and truly in the shade. He laid his head on Nic's chest. "You know I'll do whatever I can. Whatever you want me to do. I don't want to be the thing that breaks up you and your family," he said, quietly.

"No. I don't want my family to be the things that breaks up us," Nic corrected. "My relationship with my family's already broken. You think they're happy I disappeared for a year? This isn't exactly something I talked over with them. I don't even want to go into the argument that stemmed from my leaving. Part of why I'm here is to get away from them." His arms slid around Dan, hugging him. "Whatever happens, I won't let them take you away from me."

"I'm not going anywhere," Dan reassured him. "Even if I wake up tomorrow and I'm really back in my room at home, I'm not going anywhere." He paused. "Was it really that bad?" he asked, frowning a little. he'd known that Nic's relationship with his family wasn't great, but he'd been working so far on the basis that it was salvageable - but from the last couple of comments, possibly that was a false assumption.

"Depends on how you look at it," Nic sighed. "If you take away their plans for my future, things were fine. We could vacation together, see each other on holidays, whatever. But my parents run in elite circles. They expect their children to follow. Even when I was a kid, it was all about being seen with the right people at the right time, doing what was necessary to get ahead. You go to the right school, pay the right people off... And my mother wants grandchildren. Even if she has them through my brothers, I'd never hear the end of it. That has nothing to do with us, either. I was getting that before I left. I think she kept hoping I'd just get some girl pregnant and then have to marry her."

Right up until that moment, Dan had never felt at all inadequate - and suddenly he did. He thought he covered well, but he doubted it was perfect. And he knew the cause as well - he'd always wanted kids. Always. And knowing that your sexuality near enough precluded that wasn't easy. But that was the way it went. The rest of it, Dan didn't really get - hadn't realised that there really were people like that in the world outside of films and TV shows. It was sad, really - it seemed so pointless. He just had no idea what to say.

Nic looked up at Dan when there was no response, worrying suddenly. He'd said something wrong. Somewhere in all that, Dan had become upset for himself, not just on Nic's behalf. "You're quiet," Nic said, watching him carefully. His hand slowly rubbed his side, soothing. "What did I say?" he asked and hoped that Dan would answer.

Dan forced a small smile.  "Nothing," he said, brushing it off. "I just... I guess it's so different. I never thought... Families - they're strange things, aren't they?" he asked. It was a good cover, but not perfect, but then again, he wasn't sure this was a subject he was ready to actually discuss seriously with his boyfriend of less than a month - it'd take them into 'really fucking scary' territory, so he'd avoid unless Nic pushed.

Nic wanted to believe him, that that was all it was. He wanted to, and for that he decided not to press. It bothered him that Dan was keeping something from him, that he wasn't willing to tell him, but Nic knew that some things were still too personal. His fingers traced along Dan's jaw, angular and masculine, and tilted it up towards him. Nic kissed him slowly, but deeply, taking his time, then lingering close, his lips brushing Dan's as he spoke. "I have never been happier in my entire life than when I'm with you," he whispered. "Please... don't ever doubt that, and don't ever forget it."

Dan closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Nic's. "I won't," he whispered softly. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Nic said back, watching Dan and worrying. This had been a conversation he really didn't want to have, one he'd hoped would be unnecessary. He knew it didn't help that he'd panicked yesterday, but wasn't it better to be honest? "Are we okay?" he asked.

Dan stilled and frowned, his forehead wrinkling against Nic's before he pulled back to look him in the eyes. "Yes," he said emphatically, before pausing. "Aren't we?" he asked, his heart in his mouth.

"Yes," Nic said, confirming Dan's answer with conviction. The back of his thumb slid slowly along Dan's jaw line as he looked back into his eyes. "I just worry what you must think of me. I was so... out of control."

"Was," Dan replied. "As long as it's not an 'is', then I'm good with it. I won't say I'm not concerned - worried about you. It's not been that long since Zhen took the pills away - and honey, you wouldn't believe how worried I was that day." Or maybe he would - Dan had hardly left his side, after all. "But I want to be there for you and I can't do that if we don't talk about it. I'd prefer to do that rather than burying it and pretending it doesn't exist until it's too late to ignore. And it's a part of you - how could I sit here and say I love you if I only wanted to know the nice parts of you?"

"How do you always know the right things to say?" Nic asked, his lips quirking up. It made him feel better, knowing Dan wanted to hear these things in order to help him. So many people only wanted the good and not the bad. "Thank you," he breathed softly. "I know there are things coming up, that they're doing their best to push us. I feel better not having the pills in my possession, but... I don't even want to think of them. It scares me that I did..." That impulse was still there, waiting in the shadows. He had to break it. He had to learn to deal with that stress in a better way than popping pills, or he'd eventually overdo it. The possibility terrified him.

"Me too," Dan agreed. In a way, he was more scared now than when he'd brought up the subject - of course, then he had naively thought that Nic hadn't considered the pills since Zhen took them away - out if sight, out of mind. Sure, there'd been that little fear lurking, but he'd brought the subject up to quash that fear. And that hadn't happened at all, though he was a little encouraged by Nic's attitude.

While he didn't want to scare Dan, Nic thought it was better that he knew... wasn't it? Wouldn't this enable him to help him if he needed it? Maybe he was just being selfish, but Nic preferred to consider it precautious. They had no idea what might be ahead of them and Nic thought they should take any means necessary to make sure they made it through. This was just one little thing, and hopefully they didn't need to worry about it.

Dan wasn't sure there was anything else which could be said on the subject right now. They seemed to have reached a natural end and pushing would just seem strained and be over into nagging. He didn't want that - he'd made his point, they'd discussed things, time to let the subject drop. "So," he said, his tone broadcasting the subject change. "I was thinking you could cook me dinner tonight - something nice. Something I haven't had before."

Nic almost breathed a sigh of relief, so pleased that they weren't continuing down that road. He wasn't sure what else to say on it and the more he thought on it, the worse he felt. But cooking, especially for Dan, was something he could enjoy. "I'd like that," Nic said, thinking now that he had a challenge, coming up with something Dan had never eaten and he could cook. "Would you like something spicy? Salty? Sweet?" he asked, "What are you in the mood for?"

Dan raised an eyebrow. "Knowing you, I'd say that 'spicy' was probably a safe bet," he teased. "But anything, really. Surprise me," he challenged, sitting up and on the edge of the bed.

Considering where Dan was from, Nic was able to narrow things down a bit. It wasn't likely that he'd had good mexican food before. Maybe he'd had some, but it couldn't have been tex-mex like he was used to. "I'll try for enchiladas then, but you've gotta come help me," he said, lips twitching up into a smile. He'd teach Dan to cook eventually, even if it was one tiny step at a time.

Dan stood and turned, reaching for Nic to pull him to his feet. "You promise not to hold it against me if I violently poison us both?" he asked, pulling a face. "Or, better yet - you'll not let me poison us both in the first place?" Which was a possibility, seeing as how the only thing that Dan had ever managed to successfully cook from scratch was a batch of cupcakes - and that was with Emma standing over his shoulder and guiding him every step of the way.

"I'll go with the second option," Nic grinned, climbing to his feet as he took Dan's hand. Things could fall back to normal, even if there was a hint of danger lurking in the shadows. What was there had always been there, even if it hadn't been acknowledged. They'd get through it, move past it, and handle each new thing as it came. Until then, they could work on not burning the house down. It sounded simple enough.