Who: Billy and Lullaby
Where: In dreams
When: Overnight

The hallway looked a lot like school. Corridors where the light came in from double doors on either end, but the lights were off. The glare off of the polished floor wasn't enough to light her way properly. It was silent, sound missing from the scene entirely. Even when she moved to doors--doors that looked like the ones in Sophie and Oz's house, instead of proper school doors--the sound never made it. As she walked past trophy display cases, she looked inside them, the lights flickering. There were no trophys. There were a lot of seemingly random odds and ends, a necklace standing out in one of the cases, a silver pentacle with amethyst set into it.

Other cases held photographs. People, familiar to her. Important. At first, they were smiling photographs, though as she walked by them everyone in them turned to watch her go past, the smiles dying entirely as they stared after her, silently accusing. The color leeched from them as well, and slowly, it started to bleed into her wake, starting to drain everything of color. She didn't see it, as she kept trying doors, none of them unlocked. She had to find him. He wasn't there, and he was supposed to be, and if he wasn't, she didn't know what was going to happen. So she had to find him, and then it would be okay. And if she couldn't find him then she needed to find everyone else. Where were they? Weren't they supposed to be here too? But no one was, she was alone.

Passing another case, the photographs were less colorful than initially, and people looked less happy. Still smiling, but there was something missing from the expressions. She frowned at them as she slowed, looking at them, and behind her in the corridor, the black and white started turning darker. Eroding, the floors starting to crack, the paint starting to flake off of the walls. She turned to hurry up the hallway--that seemed to never get any shorter, always stretching endlessly out before her, even if she still hadn't seen it was being eaten up by corrosion and blackness behind her. She started to more frantically try the doors, moving faster. She ran right past the next display case, where everyone was already in black and white, and they were all staring after her, angry. Some of them looked like they had started to shout things after her, though the sound still wasn't kicking in.

The panic in her started to rise up faster and harder, overwhelming, and she got to a door that was different than the others. It had a window in it, with decorative, ornate bars over it. She rattled the handle--and this time sound did echo. Though it was muted. Lower register. How she heard things. She reached up to try and reach through the bars to pound on the window, when they moved, curling around her wrist and locking it there. She screamed, but there wasn't any sound. On the other hand, all other sounds around her started to get louder. It still lacked the higher range frequencies, but it was a roar that was rising up. It involved pain, a lot of voices that none were clear, it was all tone. Angry tone, specifically. Accusing tone. She tried to wrench her hand back, and all that happened was she slit the skin all around her hand, and blood started running, dripping down her arm and she couldn't get herself free. She froze when she saw movement behind the window in the door, and then there was a dark, viciously smiling face behind it.

"There's my little girl."

Billy was stood in the shadows, a little ways down the corridor, as quietly and unobstrusively as possible, given the circumstances. He made no sound, he hardly moved. This was easier when there were other characters in the dream, but he couldn't appear as anything but himself until he took control. And to do that, he needed the key. And so, for now, he watched. And he waited, already running potential ideas through his head. He knew this girl - it shouldn't take that long, even if he ended up guessing.

Lullaby continued to try and pull back, though her hand was still caught. It started to peel back her skin, blood flowing freely, soaking down into her shirt. She looked like she was trying to speak, but no words were coming out. The blackness started to catch up with her, and there were ghostly figures starting to come out of it. Five of them, all pointing at her.

Billy watched, unmoved by the image, by the skinning. For her, it was only a dream, it wouldn't hurt her and he could remove the damage of the imagination later. His attention was directed, instead, to the figures, to the way that they had little in the way of detail, their faces blurred, not obviously male or female. They were important and he directed his thoughts accordingly.

There was laughter then, again, all low frequency, and even as she ripped her hand free, the skin of it dropping to the floor with a wet slapping sound, the blackness kept creeping in. She held her skinned hand to her chest, blood flowing everywhere, far too much of it, and as spilled onto the floor it turned black. From there, it sent cracks out, corroding everything it touched. She tried to make a run for it, up the hallway but the path was blocked, the blackness suddenly swallowing up that end of the corridor as well. "I'm sorry!" she finally managed to cry, though instead of it making any difference to the figures, they just seemed more agitated. Other figures were looming up out of the darkness to surround her, and these ones were familiar to her. Family, friends. They all started out looking fine, then the color bled away, and they started to look decayed. Dead.

She scrambled back until her back hit something, and she turned, looking up at Dean. He looked just as dead as everyone else. He leaned in closer to her, and whispered, though the sound echoed loudly in the dream, into the blackness.

"This is your fault, Thia."

Death, dying, killing, decay, betrayal, censure, blame, guilt - fault. Come on, what is it, Thia. Speak to me, tell me, Billy thought at her as he watched the scene. He saw himself in there, a hideous, deformed shape, decaying and dying, just one of many. He was almsot there, he was sure of it. Her actions, the scene before him, there was something, but he needed to fix on what it was.

"No, I didn't--please no." she said voice tiny but not quite soft. That would be because it echoed, and she tried to step closer to Dean, but he shoved her back. Falling over onto her back, she looked up at him, and as she did so he dissolved. Like he was ashes, blowing away.

The list continued until suddenly Billy felt it, it could have been one of a couple of things, but the dream changed and suddenly it was his, all his. It looked the same, but he could see the way it moved, the way it existed as the power flooded through him and he smiled, relaxing and melting out of sight, becoming his deformed and decaying self, looking out at her through the eyes of a dream.

He started small, the decay ceasing, Dean's ash-y self simply flowing from one spot to another where he reformed. Meanwhile everyone else became whole, slowly at first, them picking up speed as Billy turned and led them back down the corridor. He was, right now, more interested in that door. He'd just take the dream with him.

Lullaby watched, still holding her hand to her chest where it bled, and she looked like she was trying to see everywhere at once. She picked herself back up, and looked around, confused. Very confused. She looked back at Dean. "What's happening?" she asked him. She walked closer, then seemed to think better of it and hung back. "What's happening?" she repeated herself.

"It'll be okay," Billy told Thia, speaking through Dean. It hardly took a thought to have the dream of the teenager step forward and take Thia's hand in both of his, stroking over the skinless parts, healing her as he went. "See, you were owed that," Billy told her through Dean as Dean smiled at her.

Billy reached the door, the shadowy figure still behind it. This - this was what he was here for and the door swung open, the lighting changing so there were no shadows anymore, no place for the man to hide. He wanted to know every detail - and what Billy wanted, Billy got.

She still looked confused, and looked down at her hand. "No...I wasn't." she said, voice betraying her confusion. Then when the light changed, she finally noticed the door thing going on and Billy and all. "Wait, don't!" she cried. "He'll get you, he's--" and she made a run for him, reaching to grab his arm to pull him back. "Don't, he's in there, he'll get you, he'll hurt you!"

The dream dissolved around them the moment she touched him and Billy dropped all pretences, transporting them to a grey, featureless environment. Or, well, almost featureless. Billy stood with Thia, just as before, but now before them was a long line of bars, the wall of a cage, behind which stood her father, unable to get through. The dreamwalker turned to the girl with a soft smile. "It's okay, Thia - he can't hurt you here. It's just a dream," he assured her. taking both her hands in his.

She still looked a little panicked, especially with the abrupt change, and she looked back at her father, before sort of half trying to put herself between Billy and him. Even if he was behind bars. "...but he can do things..." she said, still having trouble keeping up. "I'm dreaming?" she asked, looking back at Billy. "I'm..." she frowned. Something bit at the back of her mind, and she latched onto it. "Are you okay? You weren't hurt or anything, are you--you're okay?"

Billy didn't even look round. "He can," he agreed, his face taking on a mischevious look. "Like... he can be a kitten," he told her, as the witch beside them transformed instantly into a tiny, fluffy, ginger kitten with a pink bow around its neck. "Or a tree - everyone wants to be a tree, right? Or maybe a cloud? Some bubbles? How about a drag queen? Or, your father." Eventually Cyril Draven returned to them, looking exactly the same as he had before. "It's just a dream, Thia. None of this is real. You need to remember that in future - and you can always wake yourself up. Not even I can control that. But now, he needs to speak, I want to hear his voice," he told her, as Cyril began to speak, reciting a random piece which Billy realised after a moment was something about fades, about what she was. She must have been reading about them recently.

Lullaby stared wide eyed at the changes, and it got her to smile, giggle just a tiny bit. She made a bit of a face when the recitation happened. It was one of the bits that had stuck out to her the most, the mean sort of tone resonating. "I need a new book." she said, but forgot to explain what she meant.

"Yes, you really do. Now, I've done my bit - I know what I need to know," he told her, the scene dissolving again, changing to a field covered in long grasses and wildflowers. "So, we need to do something about you now. Nightmares are bad things, you know that? And so unnecessary. You need a place to run to, somewhere safe, somewhere you'll feel comfortable, where nothing can touch you. Someplace simple. From your childhood, maybe? Think of somewhere you'd like to be, Thia. Anything you want and I can give it to you." He could just pluck it out of her mind, he knew, but it was so much more powerful if she helped.

The first thing that flickered through her mind was Dean's closet, since that was her most recent safe haven. But then he'd started saying more, so she tried to think of other places. There was her room. Her real room, the one at her old house. Though if he wanted simple, a small dark closet was pretty simple. She looked like she was waffling a little bit, as she looked around at the pretty landscape that she enjoyed. She looked slightly embarrassed as she looked back at him. "Um...my room back home, before I died, or...Dean's closet." She possibly blushed a touch there with feeling silly. "I've been kinda...hiding in there every so often since I started staying there."

Billy didn't say a word, but the environment around them changed, blending and closing in on them. The air stilled and darkened, lit only by a scattering of glow in the dark stars, but the room was smaller than her bedroom. It was a combination he'd managed, taking elements of her room and Dean's closet, the points which seemed most important to her from both, merging them seamlessly together to make a room that couldn't exist outside a dream, or possibly an M C Escher picture, but it worked here. "It'll always be safe here, you'll always be able to find it," he told her. "Nothing bad can get you here and anyone you want can visit, but only on your terms. This is your nice dream. I'm going to stay with you for a while, make sure you sleep okay."

Lullaby looked around and she smiled. It did feel nice, and safe, and there were her stars, but it was still sort of Dean's-closet-like and she was a fan. Definitely. And she abruptly gave Billy a tight hug. She was grateful, almost overwhelmingly so. This was...this was better. This was much better. "Thank you." she said, hoping that she got across her meaning well enough. Because it didn't quite cover it with the two words, but they were what she had.

She didn't need to worry, here Billy didn't rely on words to get meanings and he fully appreciated what she meant. "No problem - you worry too much, you know that?" he told her, sitting down. "You don't have to. Things aren't as bad as you think they are."

A main detail that this room had that the closet lacked was her window seat, which she curled up on, eyes on Billy. She looked a lot better too, and was feeling it. There were still the itches of worries in the back of her mind, she couldn't totally get rid of those, but she was better than she was. "I've been told that before, yeah." she said with a little quirked half smirk. "And you really don't think so?" she asked. "Are you guys just...used to big evil men in the dark who want to kill people you care about?"

The window seat appeared beneath her, smoothly and naturally lifting her up, the room shaping around it, perfect in every detail and melding seamlessly with the room as if it had always been there. Billy didn't even blink - but then again, he was creating this world, he'd made it happen. "I really don't think so. Things are never as bad as you think they are, and yeah, we've had a fair few big evil men in the dark over the years. And we deal with them together - anyway, you're living with Oz now and I know that guy - you're pack. He might not have said anything, but by now, you're pack," he told her, rolling his eyes in the dark - a darkness that managed to be complete, yet at the same time allow them to see each other.

She curled up further, arms under her head to pillow it as she looked thoughtful if a little sad. "So I've been adopted by a werewolf?" she asked a little doubtfully. Though she coudn't actually argue that that's what it felt like. "I do feel like I've been kinda...adopted by all you guys." she admitted. "I just hate feeling like I'm a charity case. Like everyone has to take care of me. No one should have to, y'know? And Dean...he...he takes on a lot of responsibility when it comes to me." Then, maybe it was because it was a dream and she didn't have as good a filter on her thoughts and mouth as usual, but she said something she normally wouldn't. "I'm afraid he's going to go too far, or wind up resenting me one day."

"We're all a bunch of strays anyhow," Billy told her, easily. "None of us have family, really - except Oz, but his parents are god knows where. And Dean, I guess, but they're over the ocean. I've got nobody else, Maddie... Yeah, well. And Sophie doesn't talk to hers much. Except Dean now. And we take care of each other. Though, a lot of the time, I think they mostly take care of me. I seem to need it most," he admitted to her.

She gave a little half smile. "So we're both the bait?" she asked. "But you're a dreamwalker. You're...I mean, look what you can do. You need looking after? And that still doesn't quite take care of my concerns about Dean. I just...yeah." she drew in a deep breath and let it out in a rush. "I think if he could fix everything for me he would in like...a heartbeat. Even if it was hard, or cost him something. He gets so focused. And yeah, I don't ask him for it or anything, but I worry that one day he's going to sort of look up and realize that I'm nothing but trouble and he's sacrificed a hell of a lot for like...nothing."

A window slowly appeared from the dark by the widow seat, the panes of glass strangely unreflective, yet completely transparent. The night outside was clear and filled with stars, yet there seemed to be no affect at all on the light, or lack of, in the 'room'. "Here, yup, I can do just about anything," Billy agreed. "But that's here. I can't do shit out there. Seriously, I can't even throw a decent punch," he admitted, looking rather chargrined. "And I don't think you need to worry about Dean," Billy told her, keeping his knowing smile to himself, since the girl was obviously totally oblivious about how the kid felt about her and Dean had shown no inclination towards changing that. "Look, if the table were turned, if it were him that needed help, would you act any differently?"

She shook her head, not having to think about it. "No." she said. "I wouldn't. When he does it though...I don't know. It's like it consumes him. Like when he's focusing in? That's all that's getting through, and...I think I'm probably not making much sense." Maybe it comes down to worth. I don't think I'm worth this much trouble. "I just worry about him. And I want to make sure he's okay, and help take care of him as much as he helps take care of me, but I don't think I can do it right." she added, voice soft, thoughtful. "Have you ever felt that way? Like you really really want something, but just don't have what it takes?"

"Maybe it doesn't matter what you think you're worth," Billy said, foregoing the actual words and grabbing what she actually meant. It was cheating slightly, but he figured that this once that was fine. "Maybe what matters is what he thinks you're worth. And, is it for nothing? He obviously doesn't think so or he wouldn't do it. As for how I feel - I'm not the best person to ask something like that to. I - I have this tendency to believe that I can do anything," he admitted.

Lullaby frowned and half propped herself up. "Were you reading my mind?" she asked. She supposed that in here, he could, but that sort of made her think all sorts of things that she probably shouldn't because that was what happened when you thought someone could read your thoughts--you thought about all the things you wouldn't want read. She clamped down on that really hard and tried to refocus. "I'm just afraid that he's got me at this high standard and maybe I'm not really like that, not really, and he'll notice one day. Or I'll just keep being crazy and never get over this and never move forward from this awful place I'm at, and he'll notice then." She paused then eyed him, propping her chin on her hand. "Well, in some ways, you prolly can." she said. "And if you didn't know what to do, you could find out." She was still feeling like she had issues going on, but something else floated up to the surface of her mind. "Billy, can I ask you something?" she asked. Then asked anyways. "When we first met and everything...and when we talk and stuff...you talk like you've known me longer than you have. I mean, the first time I ever met you was when I took your injuries and stuff, but you seem kinda...kinda like you know me. Like we've hung out before and stuff." She realized belatedly that she hadn't actually put the question in there. "Why is that?"

"No, I was reading your meaning. It's... Different and kinda hard to explain. Communication for you - and for me when I'm awake - it's about words, actions, body language. It's limited. For me, when I control a dream, there's an extra dimension. All of this, where we are now, it's created from you. I can use your memories, you feelings, that kind of thing, to create a world. I'm limited only by you, unless I want to get really technical, but I have to work tomorrow and I can't afford the exhaustion that would come with trying to impose myself on this dream. But, anyway, the fact that this all comes from you gives me limited access to your mind. I can't go rooting around for specifics as such. I couldn't, for example, find out what you and Dean were talking about before you left, but I could get a pretty good idea about what went on. I'm better at finding things that have some kind of emotional attachment. And things that you're actively considering. Which is what affects the communication - I can kinda get what you actually mean sometimes, even if you can't quite put it into words. Unfortunately, it doesn't work the other way round so well, so I hope that just made sense." He decided to pass over the whole Dean-thing, because he thought she was wrong on that, but maybe not - only time would tell. And there was the issue of him knowing her. Which was... a slip up on his part, but he wasn't going to lie about it. "I'd met you in dreams. Or, not you, but a dream of you. A dream you were in," he told her, changing his wording mid-flow. It was more than that, he knew. It had been more than one dream and they had very definitely been about her. He'd even helped out with one of them. And he knew they were colouring his attitude to the girl - strong initial feelings that came with dreams did that sometimes. He'd been predisposed to liking her, knowing so well Dean's feelings and attitudes about her when there were no barriers holding that back and then he'd met her and she'd not disappointed. She was a sweet girl.

She listened, taking it all in. "I think I get it." she said, following the explanation fairly well. But her interest got perked up when he told her why he behaved like he knew her, and she tilted her head to the side as she regarded him. "Who was dreaming about me?" she asked. She knew that he probably would have seen her in the mine-dream, but that was kinda not really something she figured he got to know her in. Especially with what he'd been explaining to her.

Billy gave her a Look at that and had to wonder just how clueless this girl actually was. Even if she didn't see the whole picture, the guy was still her best friend, apparently. And the list of people that both she and he knew, and who would possibly be dreaming of her was pretty damn short as it was.

"Oh come on, I can't just assume it was him!" Lullaby said with a laugh, and she looked around for a pillow to toss at him, which was probably silly of her, but the room had that feel, that her-room-dean's-closet feel and there were always pillows. "That would be presumptuous." she said firmly, and she stuck her tongue out at him, giggling a little bit. Then she sobered a little bit. "Well...hopefully he has better dreams about me than I do about him." she said. Since a lot of the dreams she'd had where he appeared, it was to tell her things were her fault, or he was hurt or dying, or she couldn't find him.

Billy leaned forward and handed her the pillow with a grin. "I believe you wanted this," he teased, leaning back again. "And, no, it wouldn't be presumptuous - it would be obvious. We don't have that many people in common, after all," he pointed out, not commenting at all on whether or not Dean had good dreams about her. He didn't think that the kid would appreciate that getting out. 'Better' didn't really cover it.

"Thank you very much." Lullaby said sweetly, then threw the pillow at his head. She didn't call him on not commenting on Dean's dreams about her, since she wasn't exactly asking. She just hoped so was all. That was the main point in her mind, just that she didn't want him to be having bad dreams about her. "And yeah, alright. It's still ingrained in me not to just assume I'm doing guest spots in people's dreams, no matter who they are." Or if I happened to have fallen asleep in their bed, by chance.

The pillow vanished before it hit the dreamwalker and reappeared tucked behind his head as he leant against the wall and Billy made a show of enjoying the increased comfort of his position, giving her a wide grin. "Pleasure," he replied, not commenting on the fact that he really wouldn't have been able to know her that well unless she'd had more than a mere 'guest spot' in a dream. or that she had, in fact, been the key to the dreams, its entire focus. He realised there seemed to be a whole lot he wasn't saying and thought that maybe he should give her something here. "I went in the night you died," Billy explained, softly. "You know, you mean a lot to the guy." That was a safe way of putting it, surely.

Lullaby mock gasped. "That's so not fair!" she accused, laughing. Then, when he started speaking again, her smile died as she listened, crossing her arms beneath her chin as she laid on her stomach, feet crossed at the ankle above her body as she swayed them back and forth lightly. She looked away for a moment, before she looked back. "...did you make sure he wasn't having bad dreams?" she asked quietly. "...thank you." Because she didn't actually need the clarification from Billy that that's what he'd done. She was quiet again for a moment, before she continued, voice very soft. "And yeah, I know I do." It was one of those strange things, where her confusion on the entire thing rose up. Most of the time it was more centered in herself, a constant, but not something that was overwhelming her mind. Here, however, it was more prominent, particularly because they were discussing him. There were two distinct mindsets that went on, and a distant third that couldn't quite be made out. One of them was that she was sure he was going to drift, and not only that he would, but that he should. There was a vague idea that with the new school group thing he'd start spending more time with the living, and she believed that was better for him.

Another part of her was fully aware of Dean as a person, what kind of person he was, and that he was never, ever really going to leave her. That even if they had to part ways at some point, if she ever needed him, he'd be there, and he'd drop everything to do it. Sometimes she was more aware of it than others, certain moments in time that stood out in her memory, like when he'd pulled her back when she'd been about to walk away after they'd thought they shouldn't be near each other. Or earlier, when he'd pulled her down to hold onto her.

Drifting between the two standpoints were the merky waters of confusion, because of Dean's specific behavior in regards to her. How sometimes he was snuggly and fine and even seemed to enjoy being close to her, and then a switch would flip and he wanted nothing more than to be as far away from her as he could. How she knew that most of the time, if they were close, it was because he was humoring her. Giving her something she wanted, but didn't especially want himself.

It all made for a mess in her head, in her emotional system, and she never knew where the lines were drawn. What she did know was that deep down she didn't at all think she could do this without him. That she actually did need him. Then her mind provided for her that he didn't need her in return. That the last thing he'd sort of said to her was that he just might need her around to heal him if something happened. She realized belatedly that she hadn't said anymore, and refocused her eyes on Billy, looking a little lost, though she didn't say anything.

Billy watched her and looked at her, sympathetically. "Unfortunately, I can't sort through confusion," he told her, apologetically. He could sense it, he knew it was there, but she was so all over the place, he couldn't even pinpoint exactly what it was she was confused about, save that it was mixed up with Dean. And he only knew that because the boy was the current topic of conversation.

She gave a little half smile. "Didn't really expect you to." she said. It was a little sad. "Sometimes I just wish things were kinda...clearer. But it's okay I'll...figure it out, I guess." Sure she would. Sometime in her thirties. Or her one hundred and thirties. That thought wasn't a good one either and it gave her a huge pang, and she closed her eyes for a moment, before she shoved it aside and looked back at Billy. "Sorry I'm kinda..." she made a vague gesture. "All over."

He could make them clearer, he knew. He could pick out all those moments that she just hadn't seen and put them together in a montage, add in a few bits of his own that he knew were important and she'd see what she was missing. Of course, that might not make her any less confused - in fact, it might make her even more confused, but it would make things perfectly clear.

Not that he'd do something like that, but he could and he knew he could. "You don't need to apologise to me," he told her instead. "You do that too much, you know - apologise. Much, much more than you need to."

She looked at him for a long moment. "Do I?" she asked. She hadn't really realized that. And she opened her mouth to apologize for apologizing too much. Which was ridiculous. Then she thought about it. "I know lately I feel like a really big imposition on like, everyone around me. And you guys are all pretty much the best people in the universe, and no one's made me feel that way. You're welcoming and everything, and I really appreciate all of you. But at the same time, I know I'm just this...extra kid hanging around who's got so much extra baggage it's not even funny, and a good lot of it is even really insanely potentially harmful. So..." she trailed off. "Leads to a whole lot of me feeling bad about things." she admitted. Again, probably not something she would have come directly out with had she been awake.

"You know the cage in the basement at Dean's? I put that in. It's the twin of the one at my house from when Oz lived there. And when he lived with me? He actually needed it. If you want to have a conversation about someone being insanely potentially harmful? We can talk about my best friend. But okay, you feel like an imposition, but you're not imposing on me. Apart from when you crashed in last night, but we'd had warning of that, so I'll forgive you. This? This is just what I do. I enjoy it - who wouldn't?" Billy asked as he turned his palm upwards and a handful of blossom rose into the air and floated away. "It's fun. As for the rest of them... They'll have their reasons."

She watched the little magic show and it made her smile, though she was looking back at him as quickly as she could so she didn't miss anything--even though in this dream, she wasn't missing anything he said. It was sort of a belated realization, that she'd been hearing and understanding everything he said. It made her think of something she wanted to ask for, but she woudn't until he was going to depart. And even then she wasn't sure she'd have the guts to ask. "It looks fun." she agreed. Then paused. "...would you?" she asked. "Talk about Oz? With the cage and the...and that? What was it like for you?" she asked. And why was it Billy seemed to be in the perfect position to give her an alternative perspective she needed, and it was from all sorts of sources? It was strange, not that she was thinking about that right then.

"He was more worried about it than I was," Billy admitted to her. Which had a lot to do with his god complex, he knew. He was just incapable of being overly worried about something like that, or thinking ahead that far. It never occurred to him that he could get hurt by Oz. Not there and then - it was just a handy parallel to be able to draw for the girl, and Billy was much more able to see things in retrospect anyhow. It was looking forward he had a problem with. "He was always so careful. Breathing down my neck and double-checking everything when we built the cage. Making sure that there was no way he could get loose. He regarded himself as a liability. To me, he was my best friend." Actually, at the time, he'd been Billy's only friend - the dreamwalker didn't do too well in social circles.

"And that was all? You never...you weren't afraid? He was just your friend and that was the end of it?" she asked. There might have been a tiny, distant spark of hope in her voice, even if she wasn't fully entertaining that. But it was something that she probably needed to hear, one way or another.

"I knew what he was - I found out shortly after we met, before we really became friends. You can't be friends with someone if you're afraid of them - it just doesn't work like that," he told her, a little sadly. He'd lost friends in the past through fear - being able to do what he could do, some people just didn't trust him and that lack of trust brought fear with it.

Lullaby was thoughtful for a few long moments, thinking that over. "I know I'm really scared that if anyone finds out about me, that they'll be afraid of me." she said. "Dean's sort of mentioned my old friends, he's been talking to them and such, and...I'm scared there on that front. Not sure what'll happen. But...okay. I guess I can sort of understand what you're getting at. ...in your opinion, I should stay, huh?" she asked. Since he'd sent her home in the first place. Really, her going back she fully attributed to Billy.

"It'll happen - the fear thing. I'm sorry, but it will. Not everyone can be accepting, it's inevitable that some peopole would take things badly," he told her, sounding genuinely sorry to have to say that. "I know I'm not... I'm always careful about telling people." Though more and more people seemed to be finding out these days, like the guy who'd guessed - though that had turned out for the best. Or hopefully it would. Billy still had to try those numbers. "As to whether you should stay - yes, I think you should. We're used to this kind of thing. Or, at least, things like this. And, to be honest, here's what I predict if you go - Dean'll be on at everyone in a shot, Oz'll track you from place to place, which means that Sophie'll go too - and they'll have to take Dean because, one, he's a minor and they can't leave him and, two, he'll not let them leave him behind. And if you lose them - and we're not just talking Oz here, we're talking Maddie with location spells - then you get to talk to me. Because you can run from them and you might be able to hide from her, but there's no escaping me. And I realise that I'm fabulous company and all, but every night? Giving you updates on how much everyone's missing you?" He shrugged. "You've got nowhere else to go, Thia. If you did, that'd be something else, but we're not just going to let you walk into the lion's den. That's not how we do things. You're dealing with the wrong type of people. Or the right type of people, depending on your point of view. With a protection streak a mile wide."

She looked at him, watched his eyes. "Would they really track me down?" she asked. Do my wishes not count? She knew Dean would try. "I was thinking about going back to Journey's house. I wouldn't be far, but I wouldn't be...a big screaming beacon of doom at their house." she said. "Maybe then people would know where I am, and wouldn't have to worry about not knowing that, but..." she trailed off. She still wondered if what she wanted mattered, or if really, no one cared, as long as they thought she was safe.

"I don't think that would qualify as 'somewhere else to go', Thia," Billy told her, gently. "I meant, if you had somewhere else you could be where you'd be as safe and protected as you are at Oz and Sophie's. I - it's not like they want to keep you prisoner, or that you're trapped and they're never, ever going to let you go or anything. That's not what I meant, just that..." He tried to find the right words. "Oz doesn't like letting me go either, did you know that? He and Sophie keep a room for me, upstairs. I've never lived here, but they keep a room for me anyway. Where I'm sleeping right now. If you leave, I guarantee that, no matter what happens, where you're sleeping will always be your room. For as long as Oz and Sophie own that house, that'll be Thia's room. And if they move, ever, I'd almost guarantee that they'd give you a room in their new house. You're part of the pack now, it means you'll always be looked after - whether you like it or not," Billy told her, rolling his eyes a little at the last. The whole pack thing had never sat too well with him.

Technically, I'm in Dean's room... went through her mind, but she didn't say anything because she got what was meant. It hadn't really occurred to her though, that her room was her room, even. She hadn't even decorated it, though she'd had the urge to. She hadn't wanted to sort of really make her mark in there because deep down she never felt like she was meant to stay. But with what Billy was saying, everyone else had been under that impression. She thought about the room in another house thing. How if what he was saying was right--and she trusted him--she really was kind of part of the family now, and that was it. It was...a very weird thing to deal with in her head. Very strange indeed. She wasn't sure how to go about it. It left her thoughtful, and finally she focused on Billy again. "...so when I said I've been adopted...that's sort of...um. More literal than I'd been meaning?"

Billy nodded. "It's about as literal as it gets - mind fuck when you realise it, isn't it?" he asked, knowing full well what she was going through right now. It had hit him hard as well.

Lullaby nodded. "Yeah...really is." she said. "It's...it's a lot." she added. "I never...I mean, I had my mom, and my stepdad, and that was it? Like I never had family beyond that. Just friends, an there was Journey's uncle who was just as good as my uncle too but it's...I grew up with Journey, so there was that in there, this is all...none of you have even known me for like...six months even, and everyone's seemed to have decided that I'm one of you, and no one even seems to be questioning the wisdom on that." she rambled, thinking out loud.

Billy nodded. "I know, I'm sorry - that's just how it goes around here. See, you're important to Dean, and Dean's related to Sophie, which makes Dean important to Sophie. And Sophie's Oz'... if we're talking wolf terms here, she's his mate. Which makes what's importatnt to Sophie, important to Oz. Add in that Dean's family, you also have the direct what's important to Dean is important to Oz, as well as the what's important to Dean is important to Oz because he's important to Sophie. But anyway, all of that gets us to the fact that you're important to Oz because you're important to Dean." He shrugged a little. "Maddie and I are just optional extras."

And if he kept explaining, her head might start spinning. It was dizzying, the connections. Though she got the point--her lifeline was Dean. "Optional extras? Meaning you guys don't usually do this for everyone, I'm just special?" she asked. Then she paused, and bit her lower lip, which in her dream didn't have a cut on it, something she noticed vaguely. "What if I stop being important to Dean?"

Billy chuckled a little at that, but didn't say what was on his mind. "Really? Dean doesn't matter anymore. You're pack and if I know Oz, that means that you're now directly important to him. At the end of the day, it all comes back down to Oz." Which was the basis of Billy's problem with the whole pack issue. Packs had leaders and Billy knew from past experience that Oz considered himself it. Billy, on the other hand, had a god complex - he didn't see himself as being 'lead' by anyone and had an innate problem with any suggestion that someone had the right to tell him what to do. He didn't mind the family aspects of what pack represented, but he could never wholy embrace the concept. "And yes, you can consider yourself special."

Lullaby wasn't sure if that made her feel better or more like she was standing at the edge of a very long drop. On the one hand, it was reassuring. Thinking that she really did have this safety net that was just going to be there regardless of what happened. Then on the other hand, it was just so intensely strange to find out that you'd just been randomly adopted by people like that was staggering. And again made her wonder if she measured up. If she was worth all that trouble. When he said the last bit, she smiled though. "Then I guess I'm special." she said. She appreciated that. She drew in a deep breath, and let it out in a rushed sigh, sort of feeling this swirling cloud of Serious Thoughts looming above her.

"I'd just accept it, if I were you," Billy advised. "There's nothing going to change it and, really, it doesn't make any sense. I always thought that it was, well, kinda weird. I love my friend, but... he'd be the first to admit that he's strange at times. It's just who he is - which, really, brings us back to that whole 'accepting your friends for what they are' conversation," he pointed out.

That had her giving Billy a little rueful half smile. "I remember." she said. Her mind went towards the fact that people had accepted her. Dean did. Even that first night, when he really had the right to completely freak the hell out and take off and pretend he hadn't seen her...that wasn't the case. He'd stepped up. And when she'd talked to Joshua again, he'd not pushed her away either. And then...yeah. Okay. The people she was with right now did accept her. And she appreciated that on a deep level. Then she sighed and laid her head back on her arms. "Guess that would also imply that I should accept that Dean's Dean, and I can't really make him let me go, huh." she said. "And that he's got a penchant of just...doing things, and no matter how much logic I throw at him, he's not going to give a damn?"

"You know, you can't chase people off. And, honestly, I don't see why you'd want to. Okay, okay - I can see why you'd be telling yourself that they should go, but, that's different. Dean knows the risks, just like we all do. None of us are stupid, we all know what's involved. Unless you really don't want him around, all that you're going to do is make both of you miserable. As for him 'doing' things for you - what kind of 'things' are we talking? And are they really that bad? If you don't want him to do them, have you tried asking him not to? Or does he just ignore that as well?"

"It's less he ignores me and more I think he just comes up with creative ways to go around me." Lullaby said, though there was a touch of a distant affectionate note in the back of her tone. "We kind of do that a lot, I think. With each other, I mean. We don't let anything slide, we get into discussions all the time because of it, but that's just...how we work, I guess. As for what he's doing...there's the recent issue that came up about getting me a new identity. And he wants to ask for the money from Oz an Sophie, but it's a really expensive thing, and I don't think I can go through with it. But even when he was talking about it, it was all in 'we's'. Like he was going to be paying it back too. Like it was his responsibility. 'member when I mentioned that? Yeah he does that. I don't--" she paused, then shook her head, rephrasing. "He thinks I'm more important than him, and I'm not." Oh look, another thing she really probably wouldn't ever have said aloud if she weren't in the middle of a dream in a private place where it felt like she could say anything and it would be okay.

"With each other? Does that mean you do the same back to him?" Billy asked, picking up on that. "So, it's okay if you do it, but it's not okay if he does?"

"If he's not going to take care of himself, someone's got to." Lullaby said, her first, immediate reaction to that. "But...yeah I guess. And I realize that makes me a hypocrite. I get it, I know that it's a double standard." Then she smirked faintly. "I think we do that a lot too. I dunno. He's..." she didn't know how to say it, how to word it so it would make sense. It needed to, but she didn't have the appropriate words there. Sometimes it feels like our worlds revolve around each other's, and then there are times like when he says that he only needs me around because if he needed healing, I could do that. Then she got to a point where she came to a conclusion on her own, one that she hadn't actually consciously thought about. "He has more to lose." I already lost everything. "I don't want him to have to go through the same things I have."

"So you think he's more important than you then?" Billy posed. "And he, doubtless, would disagree with that, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I guess. I guess I look at me and see that my time is up. Or was up. Should have been up. I actually hit my expiration date. And...he hasn't. He's still got his whole life ahead of him, without all the extra complications he likes to pile on himself. And with this..with my dad stuff, he really does have the potential to lose everything. And even if he doesn't, he could be lost, and I...can't really contemplate that in any real manner without risking a breakdown, so can you just do me a favor and do your understanding my meaning thing there, please?" she asked quietly.

"You know you're talking to the wrong guy about this, right?" Billy said, after a moment, and with the hint of an amused smile. "The whole 'you have your entire life ahead of you and I've had my time' conversation? I know where you're coming from, but my gut instinct isn't to be with you on this one - you should know that."

"I know." Lullaby agreed. "I wasn't saying it for back up. I was explaining my point of view." she clarified for him. "And I guess I could have the talk with him. But he's just going to tell me that it's bullshit because I'm not actually dead. Or...sort of not dead, though I don't think he thinks about me as dead at all in the first place. Even though I know it still hurts him." They had had that talk. "I know him. He won't listen to me. He'll just tell me that...I don't know. He might even be pissed." She had in fact mentioned that they argued.

"Why would he be pissed?" Billy asked. He knew why, of course. He could seriously identify with Dean for this whole thing, so he could imagine the guy's reaction, but he was interested in Thia's take on it. Whether she'd appreciate why.

She thought before she answered him, trying to figure it out herself. "Because he doesn't want to leave me? And if I suggest he's got this whole life and everything which clearly doesn't include me, then..." she couldn't quite grasp on that last bit. "Why do you think?"

Billy gave her a slight look. "How about because what you're telling him is that he doesn't really care about you. That your friendship is that fickle and easily broken. That you think he's that fickle and that how he feels about you is fleeting. You're selling him short, you're telling him you have no faith in him and that you're willing to think the worst of him on the basis of an assumption. The assumption that he can just walk away and forget about you. And you'll sit there and say that knowing that if he did, you won't forget about him, but you'll be doing it for the 'right' reasons. And you'll know he's 'safe' and that's how you justify it to yourself - you're doing it 'for the best' and you think he'll go and he'll get on with his life and he'll forget about you. Which, to be honest, is total and utter bullshit and completely hypocritical."

Lullaby frowned, but listened to everything he had to say. It wasn't easy to hear by any means, but...she probably needed to hear it. Because she hadn't considered that angle. Though she could also spot something else. "Is that how you felt when Maddie told you to move on?" she asked quietly. She paused for a long moment again, then continued. "Before I left, we were talking about needing each other. And all he could tell me was that if I left, I wouldn't be around to heal him if something happened to him." Her tone was still quiet, and the pang she felt from that, especially after their conversation earlier about how she didn't like him referring to himself as a battery for her...

Billy nodded. "Yeah, that's how I felt. Like she was telling me that I didn't love her. She was assuming things about my feelings that weren't true and... It's really hard to hear someone you love telling you what amounts to them saying that you've been lying to them," he said, trying not to get too wrapped up in remembering how that had felt. "And... Look, Thia - the guy's your best friend. Do you really think that's all he needs you for? To heal him?"

There was something in that that had Lullaby stopping and staring at Billy. For a long, long moment. Something that really shut her brain down for a few minutes, and she didn't say a goddamn thing. He's projecting. He has got to be projecting. she decided. Even if she knew the opposite was true. She'd almost told him, but....

"I think I was just about to walk out the door and that's all he could come up with." she said. "And I really can't tell you how much that hurt, and we'd just been talking earlier about objects and how he isn't one and--" she broke off for a moment, dialing herself back a bit. Or trying to, she didn't do that good a job. "He said that, and I had to wonder if I'm just...someone for him to save. A project, just...someone to throw his energy into because he can, but at the end of the day..." again, she broke off. "I don't see what else he would. He blows hot and cold with me all the time, half the time I think he's really just humoring me on a lot, and I just--I don't know. I don't know."

"So, all this has changed since you died then? He wasn't like this at all before?" Billy asked, not noticing his slip up, wondering why she'd been staring at him.

It was still in her mind, sort of like acid in the back of it, even if she was still trying to go around it, telling herself it was Billy over-identifying. "Before things were different. I hadn't died. He hadn't dealt with me dying. I had a life, and friends and a home and school and I could make it through a day without bursting into tears. I didn't know what it was like to bleed out in a few minutes or have my throat ripped out and he didn't have to know what it was like to wait while the twentyfour hours went by to see if I really was going to just pop back up from the dead again." She'd sat up sometime in the middle there, and she stood, starting to pace a little bit, arms around her. "So much has happened it's almost like a whole lifetime ago and I just don't know, because it's not even--" she dragged her fingers through her hair and looked back at him. "Why?" And why did you say that.

"Well, if you're just a project, if he's just humouring you - I'd expect that his behaviour would have changed since you died. Unless there was a reason you were a project before," Billy told her, easily. "I mean, if there was a reason you needed saving even before you died, because you were friends then, right?" It wasn't really a question, Billy knew damn well they had been.

"I didn't say he was humoring me on a grand scale, I said he humors me on a lot." she said. "And yes, we were friends before. And we're friends now, I just--" she broke off again. "I'm confused, okay? Highly. And half the time he doesn't make the slightest bit of sense and it all switches up so fast, and...look, I know you understand a lot of this situation because of Maddie, but..." She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You're not there and you don't know what goes on. And with you two...it was different." She didn't think she was making sense anymore either. "Look, if you have something to say? Stop leading me. Say it."

"Okay - I think you're being unfair to the boy," Billy told her, since she wanted to know. "I think you've got no grounds to complain about how it pisses you off that he's always trying to put your needs above his when you're trying to do exactly the same thing to him, by the looks of it. And you're right, I'm not there and I don't know the situation. And, no, it's not like me and Maddie. But I've been in his dreams and I've been in yours and I know you're friends and I know there's a reason for that. The confusing... You need to talk to him about that, really," Billy said, chickening out on that one.

She didn't look like she took offense to anything he said, she just listened. "What am I supposed to do? Just let him...martyr himself? Because I come back, he doesn't. He doesn't get to put himself in the line of fire for me when I have a reset button. I can get mowed down and it won't actually matter, and he can't. But he just seems so willing to do it, to just..." she sat down on the window seat again and looked at the floor, posture still curled up a little as she bent forward, arms hugging around her middle. "I know he had to be locked up when I got pulled out the window." she said, and really it came down to that in regards to this in her head. She knew that. And she knew he'd do it again, too. She'd told him he wasn't allowed but she knew he would anyways. Just like he knew if he was ever seriously hurt he'd be getting healed, and he wouldn't get a say.

"And there can't possibly be a middle road?" Billy asked, dryly. "You know - where one of you doesn't die? Ressurection notwithstanding. One of you just has to be the martyr?" He shook his head. "Sorry, but you're both being over dramatic, if you're thinking like that."

Lullaby looked at him. "You haven't died twice in less than a month." she said simply, quietly.

And obviously you're looking for the set, Billy thought, but had the tact and intelligence not to say. "Thia," he said instead, starting again patiently. "You've been through a lot in the last few weeks and the potential trouble in the form of your father is worrying, but we can deal with this. And no, I'm not suggesting you let Dean martyr himself for you - or for anyone else. But I don't think you should try and do that for him either. And I agree, the guy gets hotheaded - I've seen it. It's kinda scary, actually," he admitted, not that he sounded at all scared - it was more a 'woah, okay, that was unexpected' kind of thing. "He just... reacts... sometimes. But there are such things as 'plans' and 'working together'." He paused. "There's also playing to your strengths. And we have strengths between us that most people don't consider."

She nodded, feeling exhausted. She could look at the logic, what she couldn't do was make herself feel any better about putting people in danger. She just couldn't. It didn't work like that for her. But she was feeling trapped, too. Like there really wasn't anywhere she could go, or turn, and...it all dead ended. And in the end, according to Billy, the people she was trying to protect would still be in the line of fire, because they wouldn't let her go. And if anything happened to anyone, she would be finding a way to shut herself down. That came with a sharp, startling clarity. "I hope you're right." she said quietly when she realized she needed to speak.

"I'm always right," Billy teased, though it was more a joke for those who knew him - which didn't really include her. Not yet anyhow. "I'm sorry - I was meant to be giving you nice dreams, not making you more stressed," he apologised.

She shook her head. "No...you were meant to be getting information, and you got it. All this is just you being nice enough to sit and listen and give me insight as you see it." Lullaby said. She also gave him a light, tired smile. "I appreciate that." she told him honestly. "And you can't really stress me out more...I'm kind of at full stress point, really. Unless you dropped me into the nightmare about vampires, that would suck. But...yeah. Don't be sorry."

"I was meant to be getting information and giving you nice dreams," Billy amended with a smile. "I need to get going, or I'll never get out of bed for work in the morning. I can set you on the path for a nice dream, if you want. If there's anywhere in particular you'd like to be," he offered her.

She hesitated, then came back to what she'd thought of earlier. "...Could you leave me here, and just...play things for me?" she asked. "Um...you've obviously sort of fixed my hearing in this dream, I hear you fine even if you're not close enough for me to hear you or loud enough. If you can um..." she looked away, then back. "I'd like to hear people like you do." she admitted. "Hear people's voices? What they're supposed to sound like? If you can't fix sound from my memories if you haven't heard people or something...then just you guys would be good. And Joshua. But if you could do that I'd...I'd really like that. And if you can't, I understand."

Billy looked uncertain for a moment - he shouldn't. He knew he shouldn't. He couldn't do it from her, because she'd never heard what those people sounded like. But he knew. Man, you have work tomorrow, tell her you'll come back another day. Do it some other day... he reminded himself. But - he knew it was a Saturday. If he shuffled things round and pushed them back. He had nothing on he couldn't postpone, after all. "You mean like this?" he asked, changing the dream around so she could hear him as he heard himself. He added in there, comments from everyone they both knew, just bits from his own memories, nothing particularly important, just throwaway comments from them.

"It's okay you don't have--" she started when he looked uncertain, and then all of a sudden, there was sound. Sound like she'd never heard before. Higher registers than she'd ever experienced, and full words, not just tones. She looked startled when it happened, and she sat bolt upright, eyes wide. She clapped a hand over her mouth as a startled laugh escaped her, and she blinked hard a few moments. "Yeah...like that..." she said, looking around even if she couldn't see anyone else, it was just so new.

He stopped then, breaking it off, but glad he'd done it just from the look on her face. "I tell you what, when we have time, when I don't have a whole load of work on and I can afford to be tired for a while, we'll do that again. I'll put on a real show for you," he offered. He liked to get in the practice anyhow, from time to time. Just that even this little bit he'd done now would have him bedbound for most of the day and any more would knock him flat for several and right now, he couldn't do that.

She wiped at her eyes, which had teared a little bit, but not in a bad way. "Thank you." she said, looking forward to the idea that he would let her hear more sometime, but really? She was just grateful she'd gotten the little bit she had. Lullaby also went over and gave him another hug, because she thought he deserved it. "Thank you." she said again, really stressing it.

Billy removed himself carefully from the hug in the nicest way he knew how and gave her a little smile. "Pleasure, but I really have to go," he told her. "I'm sorry i can't leave the sound behind, but this place is yours," he said, standing. "Sleep well," he told her, before turning and disappearing into the darkness.

Lullaby let him go, not wanting to keep him there or anything. "Goodnight." she called after him, as he faded. Then she curled up, closed her eyes, and thought about every sound he'd just given her, trying to pick out who she thought each voice belonged to. It was that, or start thinking about everything else looming in the back of her mind, so she wanted to do this. She'd think about everything else later. But he'd given her a place and time and she meant to use it...and for something other than going over painful things.