A Place to Rest
Submitted by brokenisbetter on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 11:56.
Who: Peyton and Geo
When: 10:30am (after their texts)
Where: Peyton's house
Peyton waited for Geo. Or rather, paced anxiously on her porch. She kept glancing down the street, expecting to see him come riding up on his bike at any moment. Maybe he wouldn't be riding his bike. Maybe he'd be walking. She tried to sit a couple of times, to be patient, but it was difficult and she'd resorted to chewing her fingernail as the minutes ticked by. She had no clue what she would say or do, but all she knew was she wanted to see him in the flesh to make sure he was okay and alive. And then maybe it would click and she'd have the right thing to say. Unless there wasn't a right thing. He'd just lost his parents. Who'd she had really liked... and it made her think about what she'd do if she lost her mom. Or dad. Or both of them and her heart continually seized at the mere thought.
Tugging her phone out of her pocket, she flipped it open to text him again when her eyes caught sight of him nearing her house. She breathed a sigh of relief and set her phone on the porch railing, returning to wait on the top step.
It took Geo longer than usual to get to the Marsh's house; and not just because he kept checking for the strange woman from Friday - it was mostly because he didn't have his bike anymore, partially because his sweats and stuff were at the laundromat and he was wearing a pair of Marek's jeans. Marek was considerably skinnier. It was also partially the uncertain feeling in his stomach - what was he going to say? What was he going to do?
...apparently the answer to that question was to pick up speed the second he saw her, only to stand, awkward, at the foot of the steps, arms hugging his stomach, his shoulders hunched. "H-hi."
Peyton hurried down the few steps to close the distance, pausing only on the last one because he was right there, and taller than her and it was the perfect height to throw her arms around his neck and pull him forcibly into a tight hug with having to push up on her toes. She clenched her eyes shut and bit the inside of her cheek hard not to start crying like a big baby. She was incredibly, horribly sad for his parents, but she couldn't help but feel relieved that he was alive and in one piece. With everything else happening in town, she didn't think she could deal with that at all. She tried to think of something comforting to say, but her throat was too dry and closed up that all she could really do was just hug him.
He hadn't cried since...it had happened. There hadn't been a place for it, between watching out for Sammy and avoiding Helen desperately. Helen...had been Helen through all this. Anger was her primary emotion, and this time had been no different. There hadn't been any comfort from her; and Sammy...Sammy acted like a feedback loop to his own emotions. They both needed someone else right now.
...he hadn't cried since it happened, but now, with Peyton's arms, with the memories of teasing his mother with her the last time she'd been over, he couldn't help it. He untangled his arms from between them, feeling the tears prick his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her, buried his face in her neck and struggled to keep from bawling out loud. Tears he could handle - but if he gave in to the sobs that currently threatened to overwhelm him, he didn't think he'd be able to stop.
She held onto him, trying really hard not to cry herself because she wanted to comfort him if she could and she didn't think becoming emotional was really going to help anything. She knew he had Sammy, and having observed their relationship, she could guess he had probably spent the last forty eight hours being there for his brother rather than dealing. But she'd liked his parents and just the thought of them dying in a house fire was horrifying and made her stomach hurt. Worse that Geo and Sammy could have died too. "I'm sorry," she managed, through her voice was quiet and hoarse. It was all she could really say, and she meant it. Anything else, she knew, would be hollow.
"I can't believe they're gone." Geo's voice was just as hoarse, half from the smoke still, half from the tears. "I just...I can't. I spent all last night expecting to hear Mom teasing me for something, or have Dad rambling at me..." His voice hitched. "M-my records are gone and I feel like a total bastard for even thinking about them b-but it's like this gaping hole dug on top of two other gaping holes an-and my h-head hurts." He was talking almost faster than he could think, babbling. "I-I keep trying to think of what I have to do now and what I'm going to do and trying to th-think if I did something wrong or wh-what if I coulda got back in to save them but j-just ran in-instead and-" He really didn't show any signs of stopping.
"Shh, don't say think about that. You don't have to think about anything right now," Peyton assured him firmly, leaning back to look at him. That instinctual urge was there to reach up and wipe the tears from his face. It broke her heart. "You shouldn't have to think about anything. What you do now is grieve for your parents. Everything else can wait." She reached around to take his hands in hers and tug him up the stairs. Records were replaceable. With his collection, it would take some time, but it wasn't impossible and if it helped him, she'd give him every single one of hers. But right now she had a feeling he was all jumbled up inside and she didn't want him to have a complete breakdown in front of her house. "Come inside, okay? I'll get you some water." The last thing she wanted him to be thinking about was 'what if'. He and Sammy could have both died if they hadn't gotten out and he'd done the right thing, but she doubted he would see that with a clear head at the moment.
"C-can't help it." He did let her go, though, following her up the stairs. If he had thought he wanted things rewound a few days ago, this? This was so many levels worse. This was something he'd die to undo. "I just...e-everything's going through my mind, over and over..." He rubbed at his eye, wincing. "I can't make it stop. H-how do I make it stop? I just...I just wanna sleep, I just want to undo all this, and l-life doesn't come with a reset s-switch."
Peyton pushed open the front door and led him inside. She very suddenly wished she could be incredibly comforting and wise and say something immensely profound that would help. But she knew if she tried it, she would just ramble on about nothing and she doubted he needed that right now. "I know it's hard, Geo, especially when it feels like there's nothing you can do to lessen the grief. I think you need to try and rest for awhile. You're dealing with a pretty big shock and I think you're mind is just overloading in trying to deal with it." She frowned again and squeezed his hand before studying him intently. He looked exhausted. "Have you slept? Since... it happened?" She was guessing probably not.
"An hour, m-maybe two l-last night." He had further sympathy for Sammy and his nightmares now. He'd never had dreams so vivid before. "I c-can't...I w-was asl-" And then he remembered what he'd told the police. That they'd been in the kitchen, still awake. He bit down on the rest of that sentence, feeling a wave of guilt wash over all the other emotions stampeding through his mind. He couldn't tell her about the gunshots. Couldn't tell her he didn't think this was an accident - not now, anyways. Not until he figured out why. "Don't w-wanna." It sounded childish, it felt childish, but it was the easiest way to express himself, though he knew she was telling the truth.
She brought him to the kitchen and released his hand long enough to go to the cupboard and get a glass down for water. "You should sleep. I know you don't want to, but staying awake when you're exhausted... I don't think that's very healthy." She got some ice and filled the glass with water before bringing it to Geo. "Maybe if you get some sleep you'll feel better rested and you'll be able to think more clearly. If you don't, eventually you're just going to burn yourself out trying to stay awake and deal."
Geo took the glass, staring down at the water for a second before finding the table and slouching into a seat. He took a long gulp of the water, actually relishing the way the icy liquid felt on his tongue. He'd almost flinched at the phrase 'burn out,' but stopped in time. She hadn't meant it that way, and he couldn't afford to be flinching at words right now. "B-but Sam...what if Sammy needs me?" Can't leave him with just Helen and Marek to talk to... He pulled his cell out of his pocket, setting it down on the table. "I just...I dunno..."
"If Sammy needs you, then I'm sure he would let you know. But I think Sammy would be fine on his own for a couple hours if you needed to sleep..." She didn't really know, actually. Peyton had no clue how Sammy was taking things, and who knew? Maybe Sammy was as exhausted as Geo was. If they were both so busy trying to take care of one another, she could bet neither was taking care of themselves. She sat down next to Geo and studied him. "Are you okay staying at your sister's? I mean, if you want you can sleep for awhile in my room. I don't mind at all. I can make some food while you're sleeping or something."
"I'm...ok, we're not close, never were..." And her boyfriend is as freaky as sin, "But..." That offer of sleep and food was staring to sound too good. "I don't have...I mean, I'm supposed to be home by one..." He felt his eyes drift slightly closed, and shook his head, abruptly, trying to jar himself back to full awareness. "And I don't want to be alone right now, really. I could just..." He looked around the kitchen before gulping down the rest of his water. "I could just..rest here?"
She felt horrible for him, given the fact that she was pretty sure if he just shut his eyes for five seconds, he'd be completely gone. He was like the"You can rest here if you want," she told him, thinking maybe he ought to at least go to the couch in the living room. Peyton stood and headed over to the cupboard to find something to make for him. And maybe something with enough leftovers that he could take home to Sammy. Her mom used to make casseroles or spaghetti for people who had just suffered a loss. Peyton was sure she could make something halfway decent. She offered a little smile in his direction. "Don't worry about anything... I'll make some food and be sure to get you get back to your sister's by one."
Don't worry about anything. If only it were that easy. Geo leaned his head on his hand, watching Peyton move around the kitchen. Food. When had the last time he'd really eaten been? Helen had brought home pizza last night - he'd managed a piece and three breadsticks before he felt sick. Completely wrong for a young man his size and typical appetite, he knew, but he couldn't have helped it. His stomach rumbled despite his train of thought and he shook himself back awake, speaking quietly. "Your boyfriend's a pretty lucky guy, y'know that?"
Peyton glanced at Geo again while pulling a pot out from the cupboard and beginning to fill it with hot water. It was a sweet thing to say, even if it made her blush like mad. She could feel her cheeks burning. "Thanks." After setting the pot on the stove to boil, she grabbed the noodles and a few cans and set them on the counter before moving to grab a plate and some bread. She'd made him a sandwich while baking the casserole. That way he could put something in his stomach and the rest while she finished cooking. Then he could take it home and have it ready for dinner that night, or freeze it for later. She suddenly wanted to make a ton of food just so he wouldn't have to worry about it ever. If he even was worried. She didn't think she'd have an appetite at all if she was going through what he was. "How is Sammy doing?" she asked once she'd begun to pile various deli meats on the bread.
"As well as can be expected, I think." Geo played with his cup, spinning it in circles on the table's surface. "He spent part of yesterday up on the roof, just thinking...our Nana comes out this afternoon, think that'll be good for him; she and Sammy are really close..." He gave a small, fond smile. "You'll have to come and meet her, she's just...just awesome." Last time they'd seen her had been at Passover - not that long ago, in the grand scheme of things, but it felt long. "She's the grandma that goes with Poppy..." He trailed off, staring at the table for a second before he spoke what he'd just realized, looking back at Peyton in something close to excitement. "...Poppy's journal. You still have Poppy's journal!"
Peyton placed a few sliced tomatoes on the sandwich before bringing it to Geo at the table along with some Fritos from the cupboard. She gently took the cup he was playing with back to the fridge to fill it back up with water. "Of course I do! I've read through about a third of it... every night before bed." She winced a bit looking over at him. "Do you need it back already?" Maybe he did... which if that were the case, she'd give it to him. Only it had been so interesting thus far. "And I'd love to meet your Nana. Really, I would, just let me know when and I'll totally be there."
"No, no, it's just..." Geo rubbed his eye for a second. "You...I completely forgot you had that, I thought...thought I'd lost..." This wasn't coming across in words very well. That book was, despite the compulsion otherwise, his most important possession. He'd have watched it burn a million times to get Laverne and Fred back, but that wasn't an option, and it felt so damn good to know that that giant piece of his grandfather's memory was still intact. "Thought..." He ran his hand through his hair, stairing down at the sandwich. "Nana would love to meet you," he changed the subject back. "She's really sweet and funny and all fierce sometimes. I think she'd like you."
Peyton realized why he'd been excited. He'd lost everything in the fire. Except that journal. An important piece of family history. "You didn't lose it," Peyton said with a small smile, setting the noodles on the stove to boil before returning to sit next to him for a few minutes. She nudged the sandwich a bit closer since he'd yet to touch it. "You didn't lose everything," she said softly, watching him. She knew a part of him was probably inconsolable, thinking everything was lost, but she hoped he'd know what she meant by that and find some comfort in it.
"I know." Geo eyed the plate before finally picking up the sandwich. "I know I didn't l-lose everything, but...what I did lose...it's like...like it's eclipsing everything else. Blocking out the good." He bit into the sandwich, almost viciously, trying very hard not to think along those lines. That one bite made him realize just how hungry he was; half the sandwich was gone before it really sank in that he was eating, and he had to pay attention to slowing down. He didn't want to get sick on Peyton's floor.
"I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you're going to be okay. You and Sammy both. I know that probably doesn't mean much right now with everything being so raw... but I'm here for you. And I know your other friends will be too. Neither of you are going to be alone." She prayed that they would both be okay. Losing one's parents, God, she hoped she never had to deal with that. She felt the urge to go call her mom and then her dad right now just to tell them she loved them. Peyton reached over and rubbed Geo's arm soothingly. "When you're done, if you want to go lay on the couch, it'd be more comfortable. If you fall asleep, I promise I'll get you up by one." Eating was one thing. Sleep was another, and sleep was something she knew he needed.
Geo turned his arm to catch her hand, giving it a small squeeze. "Thanks." His voice was going rough again; he turned his attention to the sandwich, gulping the rest of it down. "I don't...I don't know. I don't wanna sleep, I know I need to..." He voice lowered again, almost whispering. "Don't wanna dream."
See, now if she knew magic she could do something amazing... like make his sleep dreamless, or something. Peyton wondered briefly if that was even possible. She squeezed his hand back. "I know... but like I said, you're going to end up passing out from exhaustion, Geo, and that's not going to help anyone, let alone yourself. My dad's a doctor, which means I know what I'm talking about." Her smile was soft and teasing, wanting to keep the mood light if she could. "I'll be here, and maybe you can get an hour or so without dreaming. You've got a lot to deal with and I think maybe it'll be a tiny bit easier if you're rested." Maybe she was mothering him too much, but she didn't want to send him back to his sister's looking as pale and drawn as he did now.
"Y'think?" He looked at her with his head tilted, birdlike, before he shook it again. "I think you're probably right." Still, felt rude coming over and sleeping. At least, he could reassure his chivalrous side, he didn't agree to the bed thing. He scooped up his cell phone, standing with a bit-back moan as moving pulled at the scrapes on his arm. When he was upright, he stood there for a moment, almost swaying where he stood. "...y'sure s'not a problem?"
Peyton stood when he did, reaching out for his arm just in case he wavered. He looked like he could easily topple over. "Of course I'm right, and of course it's not a problem, silly." She took him by the elbow to lead him back out into the living room and nudge him toward the couch. "I'll wake you up soon, and you'll have some food to take home to Sammy, okay? Just please try to sleep for awhile... don't fight it. I'll worry less if I know you're at least getting some rest."
"'kay." Geo knew when not to argue. He padded the rest of the way to the couch, flopping down on it with a sigh. "Wouldn't wan' you to worry or nothin'..." The couch was soft - or, at least, it felt soft, but that may have been the need for sleep talking. "An' I think Sam'll appreciate food that's not prepackaged or fast..."
"That stuff's not healthy for you either," Peyton told him, knowing he probably wasn't even listening much at this point. She leaned over him to grab the afghan from the back of the couch and shook it out, placing it over his body. "I'll wake you up soon, okay? Just try to rest." Maybe, if she had time and the resources, she'd make one more casserole or something for them to have tomorrow. She didn't know if his sister could cook, or if she even would. Peyton turned to walk back to the kitchen, sparing a few glances behind her, just to make sure Geo was actually going to sleep and he wasn't just humoring her.
Geo sat scrubbing at his hair with one shaking hand before letting it fall with a sigh. He really was tired. It really would be a good idea to sleep, and Peyton's house smelled a hell of a lot better than Helen and Marek's. He met her eyes once as she walked back, giving her a half-smile before curling up and finally letting his eyes fall closed. He could rest for a little while here - it was safe.
And it wasn't five minutes before he found himself drifting off.