Who: Sean and Joshua
When: early afternoon
Where: the apartment

Joshua didn't want to wake up. He'd managed to stay asleep for a little over twelve hours, and his subconscious wanted more. Sleep was safe, sleep was still and quiet and he didn't have to think. Therefore, it stood to reason that he should stay asleep. His body, however, disagreed. It started so stir as the hour was edging into two o'clock. It was overly hot and uncomfortable from so much stillness, and he had to piss something awful. Mind still a thankfully fuzzy blank, he sat up in bed and got out of it, starting to shuffle for the hallway. Disoriented and ... well, himself in the first place, he ran into the edge of the door and then the doorframe itself, with either side of his body. It made some noise and knocked a picture off of the wall in the hallway, but he hardly noticed.

Sean was in the living room. He hadn't slept at all. He'd sat for half the night right outside Joshua's room, until it became clear toward dawn that the boy wasn't going to be waking any time soon. Then he'd retired to the living room where he'd been mindlessly watching infomercials with the sound right down low. He didn't, therefore, miss the sounds of Joshua getting up and he stood, the remote clattering to the floor as he moved, heading for his charge. "Hey - you're awake then," he said - there was no good thing to say first today.

Joshua looked at him, with puffy and bleary eyes, and didn't seem to really see him much. He continued on his quest for the bathroom, and shut the door behind him. Funny how when everything was in shambles and trainwrecks, your body still continued to do what it had to do. Even if you wished it wouldn't. That done and taken care of, all the motions performed and gone through, he opened the door again and just stopped. The events of the night before began to seep back into his consciousness as his brain started to wake up some. He stared into space for a moment as the images and sounds of her dying came to him. He knew then, with gut-clenching certainty, that yes, it had been real. Lullaby had died in his arms and he was standing there in the doorway to the bathroom. He looked at Sean, as though hunting for some kind of denial of this fact.

"Come on, lad, come sit down," Sean said, quietly, taking him by the arm and leading him gently into the other room. "You slept for a good twelve hours - that'll do you body good, even if your mind's not with it and that's only to be expected, with what you've been through. So come on, sit down, did you want a glass of water? A cup of tea? Are you hungry at all?" he asked, filling the space with questions that Joshua could choose whether or not to answer.

He went pliably, if not steadily, and sat down on the couch. They'd taken her away. The two of them had left the carnival and were going to go Journey's house to maybe ... yeah, he couldn't think about that just yet. They were going to Journey's and then she'd been shot and bled to death in what felt like twenty seconds and twenty years all at once and then they'd come and taken her away. One hand reached up to grab Sean's wrist and he looked at him. "Did anybody call?" he asked fervently, an incoherent sort of desperate hope fluttering up that maybe this whole thing had been made Not True while he slept.

"The police," Sean admitted. "To make sure you got home alright and to get some details from me." And he'd talked to them about what had happened in more detail, finding out what he hadn't known before. He'd half expected the girl's parents to call, but they hadn't. The poor bastards, losing a daughter. It was just a horrible thing all round, the grief that it would cause - such a random, needless event. The murder of a child always was. Sean had seen enough of them in his years, but he'd never had to be there to pick up the pieces before.

Which wasn't to say that they'd given Sean the amazing miracle of all miracles news that Lullaby Draven was alive! No, not that at all. Joshua let him go and sat forward, elbows on his knees, hands rubbing over his face. He'd never been a boy with an abundance of imagination. His family, cursed as they were, were fairly practical people by necessity. He was awake now -- even though he was still tired as hell -- and not really in shock anymore. Lullaby was dead. It sat in his mind like a rock, not something that he could deny anymore. A jagged rock wrapped up with barbed wire. "How could this happen?" he asked no one in particular, voice choked.

"Because there are some evil, evil people in the world," Sean told him. "Whatever they were - there's no mistaking evil." And it didn't take a demon for that. There was never a reason to kill a kiddie, an innocent child, which had really been what she was. Still a child. "This should never happen, Joshua - I'm sorry it has done." He'd gone through a stage, he knew, in the middle of the night, where he'd cursed himself for not being there. But as the sun had broken over the horizon he'd admitted that there'd been nothing he could have done. Moreso with that once he'd talked to the police. There had been no warning and it would have taken a miracle worker to save the girl once she was down.

Sure, there were evil people in the world. Stuff like this happened all the time, in different places all around everywhere. But it had happened to her. His Lullaby, who'd never hurt anyone in her life, who'd been sweet to everybody she met and who loved her friends and her family and was so perfect and wonderful. He was crying again, in that way that stole all of his air and made his back shake hard. He had a distant feeling that he'd be doing a lot of that. Possibly forever, the way it felt. He felt her absence already, like somebody had taken a huge chunk out of his side and tossed it out the window.

Sean moved closer and put an arm around Joshua's shoulder, not trying to do anything to stop the crying. Emotions were better out than in and the boy needed to cry himself out to even begin to deal with the situation. He didn't try and say anything either, not yet. He just sat there.

Crying himself out was going to take a while, apparently. He did it -- unabashedly, he was hurting too much for pride -- until his entire torso ached and his eyes felt just about ready to burst from all the pressure. "I n-never tuh-told her I loved her," he said with shuddery gasps for air. Which brought on a fresh surge of choked sobs. The fact burned bright in his head. Not even when she was dying, when she might've been able to read it on his lips, he hadn't said it. It hadn't occurred to him then, he'd been trying to keep her blood in her body. And now ... god, he didn't even have words for it.

"I'm sure she knew, I'm sure she knew. You could tell, you know - by the way you looked at the girl," he told him. "You could see it in your eyes, your face - the way you talked about her. I knew right off the bat that she was something special to you. And the girl wasn't a fool - she'll've seen that too." Poor consollation that it was, being the girl in question was now cold in the morgue, but he'd give what small comfort he could do.

It wasn't much consolation, that was true. He hadn't told her, even if maybe she knew somewhere. He'd been stalling on it, waiting for the right moment, for them to be in the right place. For him to swallow his nerves and put it out there for her. And now that wouldn't ever come. He'd never get to tell her, and he'd never know whether or not she felt the same way. He leaned against Sean and hard-cried for another good little while. Once it had petered out again, he leaned in the other direction and curled up on his side on the couch, snagging a pillow to hug to his chest. Maybe he'd get lucky and he'd fall asleep again.

Sean let him do that for a few minutes, watching him. And then he spoke. "Tell me about her," he said, gently. "I only met her the once - I would've liked to get to know her better. So, tell me about her, about the time you had together. I want to know her." And it'll do you some good to get that out there, he thought. Best for the lad to remember her as she was alive, than bleeding to death.

Joshua stared at a point off to one side of the television, not really seeing any of the living room. His throat closed off for a moment, and he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to speak for another hour, but it passed. "She was ..." he started, voice rough and hoarse. " ... always trying to help people. She uh ... she tutored this mute girl in sign language. She was learning white magic, because she was worried about everyone. Her friends. Me. Journey, and everybody ... Dean." A slight frown crossed his face and he blinked, but that passed too. "After she got ... attacked, earlier this summer, she gave out necklaces to all of them. Religious symbols, 'cause somebody told her it would help. She was so ... sweet. And funny. And smart. She liked to cook for people." His eyes filled again and he blinked the tears out. "And everything was just starting to get better, yeah? She won all those stupid bears for everybody, and I cheated for her on some of them to help. Pushed the ball right."

Sean laughed a little at that, and because it seemed to fit. "You're allowed a little cheating when it's like that," he agreed. "How did you meet her?" he asked. "You never told me that. Did you meet through friends, or..." He left it hanging, wanting Joshua to do most of the talking here.

"We'd just gotten here. I was out skateboarding, and I fell into the fountain. She was sitting on the edge of it, got both of us soaked. She laughed about it. Took me home so we could dry off." He remembered that day as clear as a bell. In reality, it really hadn't been that long ago. But he felt like a completely different person now, in so many different ways. "I liked her immediately. When we walk? I sort of ... face her, and walk backward so she could read my lips, and she keeps me from running into shit." A little smile crossed his face that turned into a grimace before he smoothed it out again. He didn't even notice the tense change.

Sean noted the use of the present tense, but didn't correct it. "Yeah?" he asked. "You got good at walking backwards then? Or did she just get good at stopping you falling over your own feet?" Because he was a Barclay - they were good at that.

"Kinda both," he said, and a few more tears leaked out. That small smile made another brief appearance, though. "I still fell a lot, but ... she was always there to give me a hand up." That made him have to stop talking for a moment, and just focus on breathing properly. Lu had done so much for him, had been so there and knew how to patch him up and make him feel better about everything, and he just ... hadn't been able to do anything for her. She'd died and he hadn't been able to stop it.

"Good girl'll do that for you," Sean agreed, giving him a squeeze around the shoulders. He didn't ask any more questions though, knowing a good time to take a pause when he saw it. "So, I was thinking of getting a drink - could I fetch you one while I'm up?" he asked, knowing he wasn't really thirsty, but Joshua should probably drink something. Probably eat as well, but he'd start small.

Joshua didn't really want anything. He definitely didn't want to eat, even though he couldn't remember the last time he had. But he recognized that Sean probably wanted to take care of him somehow. "Just some water," he mumbled, readjusting his grip on the pillow. It had already been a long fucking day, and he'd only been up for what ... an hour? At the most? He felt tired and headachey and miserable and just ... bad.

Sean would take that as a starting point. "Okay, water it is then," he agreed with false cheer, though upbeat was his natural state. "I'll be right back," he promised, disappearing in to the kitchen and coming back moments later with two glasses of cold water. "Here you go," he said, passing Joshua one and sitting back down again.

He took it, sitting up enough to drink it. It soothed his throat, going down much easier than he would've thought it would. Once it was gone, he laid back down again, shifting so that his back was turned to the TV, lanky body curled as much as it could go and face the back of the couch. He did feel like sleeping again, now. The waking world was just too much to bear right then.

Sean cradled his water, but it remained untouched. He hadn't actually wanted it in the first place, but it did feel good to have something to occupy his hands. He watched Joshua as the boy lay down again, frowning slightly. There was surely something more he should be doing. There must be something he was forgetting - to feel this useless. He must have forgotten something. Surely.

Despite an overabundance of the stuff already, sleep tugged Joshua down rather rapidly. He just didn't want to be awake anymore, not when he had to face the reality of what had happened. No, that could ... wait, or something. It could come later. All he wanted now was oblivion, and sleep was the closest thing to. So he gave in to it gratefully and drifted off.