An Honest Opinion

Who: Dean and Thia, then Billy and Thia
Where: Dean's house
When: Midafternoon

Dean was actually sleeping, trying to get some in before it got dark again. He hadn't thought he'd be able to, but he'd promised he'd try, climbing into bed after lunch and stretching out under the blankets, one hand hooked underneath his pillow as he lay half on his side, half on his front, facing away from the bedroom door, which was ajar, breathing gently.

Lullaby had a bit of a issue to discuss with the sleeping boy, so when she walked into his room, she was less worried about his being asleep. And later--she might actually feel bad about it, but at current, she wasn't thinking about that and instead she marched up to the side of his bed and grabbed his shoulder, shaking him. "Hey!" she said, to try to get his attention better.

Dean startled awake, jumping under her gasp, his eyes flying open. "Huh? eh? Wha?" he mumbled in a sleep-filled surprised kind of tone as he leaned up a little on his arm, pushing his hair back from his face and blinked at her, his brain trying to catch up with now being Awake.

"Unconsciousness does not count as sleep." Lullaby informed him. She had her arms crossed and was giving him a stern look--not that Lullaby's stern looks were all that intimidating even at the best of times. She wanted that point across, because she didn't like that he'd just neglected to tell her that in the first place. Plus it totally didn't. Way different things. Not the smallest of which was voluntary and didn't denote that he'd hurt himself.

Dean blinked at her again, wondering if he was, in fact, dreaming this. It was random enough to be a dream. "Huh?" he repeated, frowning.

"Youuu said you got sleep last night. Well I was told that you didn't actually, you were just unconscious. Which is totally not at all sleep." she explained patiently. "You pushed yourself too hard, didn't you." Her expression said she didn't like that bit either. It did however, lack a bit of punch, because it was difficult to retain anger at someone who was looking really sleepy and confused like that. She very nearly just said 'that is all, go back to sleep' on the end of that.

He looked at her then as though she was crazy. "You woke me up to tell me that I hadn't slept?" he asked her, massively confused. He had to still be dreaming. "I'm dreaming - right? This isn't real. And it's sleep - or not being awake. All I did was take out a lightbulb." He nearly asked what time it was, but that'd be a stupid question if this was still a dream. Her being in his dreams wasn't at all uncommon, after all.

"I woke you up to say that unconsciousness isn't sleep, and next time, don't tell me you've slept if you haven't. And be careful with yourself. You shouldn't be KOing yourself like that." Lullaby said. After all the root of her ire was concern, in some weird, possibly misplaced fashion. "If it's a dream, remember it when you wake up. That is all, go back to sleep." she finally said. Yeah. Difficult to be pissy with him like this.

"Eh? Er - yeah..." Dean said, still utterly confused. "C'n I go back to sleep now?" he asked, groggily. Since apparently he wasn't asleep. He was having a hard time grasping the fact that she'd woken him up to bitch at him about him not sleeping. He wasn't sure in what kind of world that made any sense at all.

"Yes." she said firmly, then reached out to muss his hair for just a second before she headed out. "Goodnight." she added, glancing over her shoulder at him at the door, and she planned on shutting it properly after herself. She quirked a little half smile and did just that. She never claimed to make sense. She was a girl. There were like, a million crazy irrational nonsense points that she could cash in occasionally, being most of the time she made sense. Or that was her theory and she was sticking to it.

Dean gave her another look, then let himself crash back down to the bed, his arm hooking round the pillow again and squashing it up against his head as he closed his eyes and tried to find sleep again. It actually came pretty quickly, since he hadn't properly woken up in the first place, and he was only vaguely aware as she left the room.

She quietly shut the door behind herself, then headed downstairs. Okay she felt a little bad now for waking him up, but still. Maybe next time he wouldn't be leaving out big parts of important things like that. Or something. Also, perhaps, she wouldn't wake him up to crab at him. Either way, she headed downstairs into the den. Or what she thought was the den. It wasn't the room she'd been yanked out of, but still had comfortable furniture. She had put the things she wanted to make chokers out of down there, and a small sewing kit so she could put them together or take them apart accordingly. It was dumped on the couch, and she sat indian style and sideways on it, back to the arm of it. Digging her camera out of her pocket, she tilted hit towards herself, trying to angle it just at her neck but that was a little awkward. Either way she took the picture, and then tried to figure out how to take a look at the damn thing, hitting some buttons on her phone. Damn thing did everything but the laundry, there were a lot of buttons.

Billy had actually already been sat in the den when she came in, back in a corner, tucked up into an arm chair, quietly doing nothing. Or looking like he was doing nothing anyway. Actually, he was trying to let his mind wander - with no success. It was something that he figured most people didn't think about, something that was taken for granted. After all, who could actually say how your mind wandered - it was just something that it did. Unless, apparently, you were him. No, he was very much still in the here and now, noticing the patterns on the wall, the weave of the carpet, a thousand and one other things that would catch his attention and hold it firmly. It was just weird. But, it made him quiet and Thia had apparently not noticed him as she came in and sat down. His attention snapped to her and he watched as she started taking pictures of herself. "You want a hand with that?" he asked, eventually, since she seemed to be having difficulties. He made sure to raise his voice, fully aware of her hearing problems. Dean's dreams had, both times, had an emphasis on sound and he'd gotten that much about her from them. The boy was highly aware of her hearing.

She startled a little bit when she heard him, so much so that she shook a bit and her phone dropped to the couch cushions in front of her. She clapped a hand over her heart while she was at it, since it had just decided to race. Blinking over at Billy in the corner, she sighed with a little laugh, one of those 'you just scared the living shit out of me' laughs. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." she said. "Um...do you want me to go away so you can have privacy?" she asked. "I can do this anywhere..." She just kind of liked this room. It was cozy. Or it felt cozy to her. It wasn't that she hadn't caught what he said to her, it was more an automatic reaction to feeling like she'd intruded.

Billy liked his privacy - he needed it, to be away from people. He didn't like being around lots of people if he could help it, a leave over from when he couldn't control his Walking that he'd never properly been able to shift. But, if he wanted privacy right now, he would have been in his room, not in the den. "No, it's fine - I wondered if you wanted some help with that..." Whatever she was doing, he wasn't sure - taking pictures of herself from weird angles by the looks of things. Possibly it was a teenage girl thing.

"Oh...um, would you mind?" she asked, giving him a little almost nervous looking smile. "I'm trying to figure out if this thing covers um. Things up well enough." Things. Yeah. That was nice and subtle, wasn't it? Or not. Her expression turned sheepish, and she sort of realized that she would likely be needing to explain herself a bit here. Otherwise? It'd would all just be really really strange. "Hey how are you feeling, anyways? You're all good, right?"

Billy unfolded himself from the chair and walked across the room to sit by her in the couch. "You need to move it up a little on the right," he told, not batting an eyelid at the vagueness of 'things', grasping straight away that she was talking about the scar. He'd want to cover it up as well, and his tone of voice suggested that he hadn't even considered that her wanting to do that would be at all something that maybe he should comment on. Or even that she had a scar at all. "And I'm feeling fine - I'm sorry about the other night. Grateful, but sorry - you didn't have to do that," he told her.

She tilted her head to the side and tugged it up some more, then looked at him questioningly. "Does that work?" she asked. "And it's okay, I'm glad I did. I figured out something useful, and you didn't have to be in pain anymore and stuff." she said, really not at all sounding like she was regretful in the least about what she'd done. Sure, Dean was pissy about the healing thing, but she was ignoring that. "So don't be sorry. Think of it as having taught me something insanely helpful."

"Better - you can hardly see it now," Billy told her, before his eyes dropped to his sleeve and he readjusted the cuff absently. He knew all about covering up - it was something he did as a matter of course, after all. Neck to ankles, always jeans or long pants, always shirts or tops with full length sleeves, even in the height of summer, he kept his body covered. Nobody wanted to see the scars, he didn't want to show them to anyone. "Okay, I'll take it as having taught you something then," he agreed, since that was what she wanted. He had to admit that he was a fan of not having broken bones. Always would be. "So, I take it that when you came back, all your injuries were healed?" he asked without making it sound like a big deal - but then again, he had experience of ressurections and to him, well, he took things in his stride.

Again, Lullaby was struck with the way Billy spoke to her. Like it was normal, or she was, or something. She could spot it better this time, now that she'd had time to think about it, so she could appreciate it during. It had her giving him a little smile that was a bit unreadable, and had a soft tone. "Yeah. I was okay again. I just...well. I guess when I come back every time, I'm healed up, but if something can leave a scar, it does." she explained. "This one's just really obvious, and ugly and yeah. I kind of don't want people to see it. Kinda ever. But I don't think make up would cover it and anyways I don't have any."

"You guaranteed always to come back?" Billy asked her, sitting sideways on the couch, leaning an arm on the back and resting on it, one leg tucked up under him. "Twenty four hours, right? Do you go anywhere when you're gone?" He sounded honestly curious, because he was. He remembered the time that Maddie had been corporal for a while, and then the time afterwards when she'd Gone - trapped in the Inbetween. They'd thought she'd come back after three days. She hadn't. He knew what that time, no matter how long or short it was, felt like, but he actually had tact enough not to say anything about that.

Lullaby bit her lower lip a touch, which actually hurt, since she'd bit a cut in it earlier which made her stop. "I dunno. In theory, I guess." she said. "But I guess I um. I don't really trust it totally. It's scary. I mean, the other night, that was the first time I died since um. The first time." she said. "And yeah, 24 hours. Theoretically." When he asked her where she went, she winced a faint little bit. "I don't go anywhere. I just stop. Like the lights go out, and when they come back on, I'm back, so I missed all that time inbetween. I guess I stop existing." And even though Dean had said a whole lot that was logically probably preferable to like, being in heaven or hell and having to endure either badness inbetween or goodness and then getting ripped back, it still scared her to no end.

Billy nodded, considering this. "We did a spell once to make Maddie corporeal for a while - the price was that when time went out, she'd go away. Totally go away. She ended up in the InBetween - another dimension between this world and somewhere else, I think. You can see into this world through mirrors - they're like one-way glass. All the time she was gone, she was trapped there, able to see this world and everything in it, but not able to interact. She said it was like hell," he told her.

Well that disturbed the shit out of Lullaby, and it was clear on her features. "Sounds absolutely terrible." she said honestly. "Guess it wouldn't be something you wanted to do again." she added. Even if the concept of Billy dating an honest to god ghost was very strange, and she didn't even really want to think of the logistics there. Wondering how one achieved any intimacy with a spirit was really just not a thing you wanted to think about, especially when sitting next to said person. Witness her not contemplating too hard. "Was she okay when she came back? And um...can you tell her thank you for me? For helping keep me awake? I said it when I thought she might be there, but I can't be sure."

"She was... It took her a while, but we got through it," Billy told her, hesitantly. And without mentioning just how long she'd been gone, or what he'd done in her absence and why it'd been even worse for her there. Having to watch your boyfriend moving on with another woman was not a happy thing, after all. "And she knows - she heard you. She mentioned it."

That made Lullaby smile again, in a pleased, genuine sort of way. "She did? That's good. I'm sure it was kinda boring for her." he added. Then paused. "Not that I have any real idea what a spirit does with her day in the first place." she added. "So maybe not. But I appreciated it. It was nice of her." She started to string together a few more bits of ribbon, and took the needle out to sew them the way she wanted to as she spoke with him. "I heard that you and Maddie have been together for a long time now. Back from where you lot were before you lived here?" she suggested, not sure how to go about asking 'so how the hell did that happen', or even if she was allowed to.

"Honestly? I don't know what she does with her time half the time either - I know there's not that many people who can even see her so..." Billy sounded regretful about this - he'd always wished that Maddie could know more people, that she could have a wider circle of friends. As much as he loved spending time with her, he didn't think it was fair for her to only have him. He wished it could be different, but this was simply the way it was. "And yeah, we've been together since I was fifteen, if you don't count the three year break in the middle before I found a way to rebind her here. Our old town was destroyed, see, and I had to leave her. Did you know she was a bound spirit?" he asked, belatedly, realising that maybe she didn't actually know that.

There was that same thing! The three year thing! Like Sophie had talked about with her and Oz. She shook her head. "Not really. Dean might have mentioned it, but I don't think so. I also kinda don't know what those are. Is it what it sounds like?" she asked. "And Sophie told me about your guys' town. I'm sorry things went so awfully for all of you." And she sounded like she truly meant it, because she did. "But you've been with her since you were fifteen?" she asked. "Wow." Was this another totally practically squeefully romantic yet tragic love story? And why had no one mentioned any of this before? It was all so fascinating.

"Yeah, it's basically what it sounds like," Billy told her, confidently - though that wasn't unusual. The dreamwalker was nothing if he wasn't outwardly confident, even if that confidence was misplaced. Here, however, it wasn't - Billy was something of a subject authority on bound spirits these days. "A bound spirit is limited to a certain place or area - though they can be bound into a thing, or to a person as well. There's some perks that go with being bound, but the main thing is that they're geographically limited. Like, now, Maddie can't leave Marquette - we tried, once. It was like she hit an invisible barrier. But, yeah, we've been together since then. Or kind of have - it was a bit on-off. She wasn't too keen on me being with her, we're both fairly stubborn, so you could argue that we've actually only properly been together for the past couple of years, but I don't think of it like that and she's not here to contradict me," he grinned.

Lullaby giggled a little at that, grinning back at him. "Then she doesn't get a say. So you've been together since then. How did you guys meet?" she asked, propping her chin on her hand, elbow on her knee. It was story day, and she was more than happy to hear them if people were willing to tell her. "And I know you said that she was corporeal for a bit and stuff, but was she alive at all when you knew her? Or..." she trailed off, sounding and looking exactly how she felt--like she was going to be hanging on every word if he'd be so kind as to continue with the story.

"She walked through a table and then was kinda surprised when I struck up a conversation," Billy told her, a short answer that answered everything she'd asked of him as he kept an eye on her for her reaction.

Her reaction was she looked delighted. She sat up straighter, grinning at him brightly. "Really?" she asked. Well that answered that. Apparently, Maddie had been dead already when they met. Which just made the story all the more interesting, because seriously, how does one fall in love with a ghost? And like...stay with them? For years even?

He laughed at that and pulled a highly amused expression. "Yes, really. To be honest, if she hadn't, she would have just looked like another student to me and I probably wouldn't have talked to her - I was having kinda a lot of social problems at the time. Dreamwalking doesn't encourage you to get to know a whole lot of people. Course, that was part of Maddie's charm - ghosts don't dream. So, she was bored and entertained by her new toy in the form of someone who could talk back and I got someone I could talk to who and wouldn't risk ending up running for my life in one of their nightmares one night - win:win situation."

Head tilting to the side, she picked out a lot of things from that that she wanted to ask about. So, she attempted to order them up right. "Okay, first of all, that's awesome. And very sweet. But how come she would look normal to you? Is that part of being a dream-guy? And um...nightmares are dangerous for you?" Well that sealed that then. Even though Sophie had said she should ask Billy to do something about her nightmares, she'd be steadfastly not saying a word about it.

"Yes, that's part of being a dreamwalker - I never found out what the official reasoning was, but I think it's something weird in our brains. We see what's really there all the time. So we can see through ghosts and some kinds of magic that cloak someone's true appearance. For Maddie, I don't see her as an apparition - she looks as real to me as you do. I don't even know how common spirits actually are in the world, because unless they do something actively ghost-like, I can't tell the difference between them and the next, corporeal, person. And nightmares? They can be dangerous for me. So can normal dreams." He realised she obviously knew nothing about what he did, which wasn't surprising. "When I enter a dream, I have no power over it, and I'm an intruder. So I can be hurt - have been hurt, a lot over the years. Not so much these days, because I'm much better at what I do. But I get the 'not wanting people to see my scars' thing," he told her, his eyes dropping to her neck. "I can only do things in dreams when I can work them out and get power - which is a skill and one I didn't have when I was your age so much."

"Do you have a lot of them too then?" she asked. That seemed to be what he was implying. It made her feel slightly less alone in weird ways. Like, if that was how things were for him, she wasn't the only one who was going to be picking up scars like ants to a picnic. "I'm glad to hear it's better for you now. Sounds dangerous. Guess that explains what you were saying, the antisocial thing. It's neat that you can see what's there though. Um. Actually I have a question. Do I look dead to you?" she asked. And she realized it was out of the blue, so she clarified. "My reflection is all messed up. I look um. Dead. Which is why I was doing the pictures, actually, Dean figured out I don't look dead in those. I um. I really really hate it. But what do you see?"

"I see you," Billy told her. "Trust me, I would have said something if you looked any different to how you'd normally look," he added. Though, of course, he'd not actually met her in real life before she'd died, but Billy often overlooked that kind of thing. "And I wouldn't have compared Maddie to you if you did," he pointed out, before reaching down and lifting the bottom edge of his shirt up a little, exposing an inch or so of his side. The skin was criss-crossed with a network of scars, though he didn't expose enough for her to be able to actually make out what any of them were. "Yeah, I have lots - I just got lucky and all of them are in places I can easily cover up."

She looked, and made a wincy-face in sympathy. "God, I'm sorry." she said. "That looks like it was all really painful. I guess that's the sort of maybe upside to mine. It's all scars from wounds I didn't actually have to heal. Like my gunshot one. The one that killed me?" she suggested. And since he'd showed his, and she figured that was kind of giving of him, she tugged her shirt up enough so he could see the exit-wound scar on her stomach. "It's really kind of weird for me that I get them. Like, they seem wrong, since they never healed." she explained. "But thanks. That makes me feel better. I mean, I know no one else sees me like my reflection, but if you did, it might...well it might mean that's what's really there." And she would be spectacularly Not Okay with that.

"It's not fun - the healing part. But you get used to the pain. It doesn't happen so much these days. I have a lot more control and I really worked at what I can do. Most of these come from when I was thirteen, fourteen? When I had no control at all - if I slept, I walked. And then I ended up in dreams I didn't even know it was possible to control and had no way of getting out of. You learn really damn fast how to run and hide. And drink lots of coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. But you get used to the scars, they go with the territory of what you are."

She nodded a little, wondering if she'd ever get used to hers. It didn't feel like she would, but maybe. She knew she'd probably always find them ugly. "I dunno if you got thanked for helping with the stuff this summer." she said. "But...official thank you anyways." She gave him a little smile. "And with that--yeah very glad you got better at it. Still sounds dangerous though. So...more thank yous. Though...I got you off the track of you and Maddie's history." she added. Because she still wanted to know what happened there.

"You don't have to thank me," Billy told her, not wanting to think back about what had gone on that summer. He'd hated that 'dream' like no other. It had been one he couldn't control and Billy didn't like things he didn't even stand a chance of controlling. "And there's not much to tell with Maddie and I - I found a way to rebind her here and we've been here ever since," he shrugged.

"How did you get together though?" Lullaby asked. "And if I'm asking too many questions just tell me it's none of my business." she added for clarity. "You skipped from you just meeting to having been together and rebinding her here. How did you guys like...happen?" Yep. Total sap, she was. A romantic little girl at heart.

Billy chuckled a little, knowing exactly what she was asking. "You mean, how does a guy end up in a relationship with a girl who died fifty plus years before he was even born?" he asked her, raising an eyebrow. "Well, we met, became friends, very good friends, in fact. And then the short story... God, is there even a short story? Let's see. Okay - Maddie is a protector - do you know what a protector is?" he asked her.

Again, Lullaby's eyes went a little wide. "She's been around that long?" she asked. "Wow." Which made it even stranger, but hey, she wasn't really thinking about that. "And sorry...no. I didn't know much about anything til kinda more recently. Then I was attacked by a demon. That sorta broke the silence for me, but I'm still learning a lot." She looked sheepish at her lack of knowledge.

"Yeah, she died in the 1930s," Billy told her - it was a fact he'd got used to years ago. "Okay, a protector is someone who, well, protects - a given person. They dedicate their lives to them. And protectors are born - there's a family line. Maddie had a daughter before she died and that daughter carried on the bloodline up to the present day and a woman called Terry Dante. Anyway - for one reason or another, a witch cast a spell over Terry that was meant to kill her - it was designed to transfer her into the spirit world. Which it did - though it didn't kill her first, just flipped her there. Which was where things got weird. Because a side effect was that it flipped Maddie out from the spirit world into this one - basically, it brought her back to life. As we understand it, there has to be a Dante in the world. I don't know if that's a general protector thing, or it might just be her bloodline - protectors aren't my strong point. But, the world didn't like the lack of Dante and Maddie was the closest one available, so there we were - live Maddie."

"Oh!" Lullaby said, blinking. "I do know what those are. I just never heard the name." she said. Journey. He'd been...one of those, she supposed. "My friend was...he's moved away now, he was cursed. I guess I kind of collect people who're cursed, weirdly enough." she mumbled. Then she continued to listen, letting it all sink in. "So she just...was suddenly there?" she asked. Then smiled. "And you two were 'very good friends'. What happened?"

Billy caught that. "No, actually - we were just very good friends before then," he told her, amused though. "It wasn't like there was anything between us before then - after all, who falls for a ghost." Again with the amused, but that had been his opinion before all of this happened. "But what happened? She came round, didn't tell me what had happened, near gave me a heart attack by suddenly kissing me and then carried on like nothing had changed, leaving me acting like the teenage idiot I was and falling over my feet wondering how to deal with this incredibly gorgeous, eighteen year old girl who'd kissed me for no apparent reason other than because she thought I was 'sweet' and probably wasn't properly interested in me anyway. Needless to say, I was wrong."

Lullaby gasped at that, then clapped a hand over her mouth as she beamed, trying not to laugh as she thought that was great. "She just up and kissed you?" she asked. "That's...that's so sweet! And romantic, and all sorts of things! So you didn't think she was interested in you, but she was. How did you find out?" It was better than a movie, hearing this story.

Billy was cottoning on to the fact that he was talking to a sixteen year old girl about this. God, the fluffy bunnies would be invading next. Why had he started in on this again? Oh yeah - because she'd asked. Damnit. She was interested. And he was trapped. "I found out with a few days of fumbling and muttering and being a fool before I actually got up the nerve to kiss her - only to find out that she'd thought that I wasn't interested in her and had been waiting for me to make a move."

"Aww!" It had to be said. That was just...so insanely adorable. Lullaby was still beaming at him. It was so cute! "So you were both convinced that there was no chance, and really you both had a thing for one another? That's insanely sweet." Then she recalled there was a tragic side to the story, what with her being all dead and ghost-like again. It sobered her a bit. "So you guys were all...together, and then she got turned back into a ghost?"

Sweet - there it was again - he kept getting called 'sweet' by people. "Yeah, we were together and then she died again. She couldn't leave it like that - she couldn't take someone else's life. So she found a spell to reverse the effects of the first one. Maddie died, Terry came back and... got on with her life, I presume. I never really knew the woman."

Nodding, Lullaby would sort of imagine he might not want to. What with the sort of probably bitter feelings that might go along with that. "You said there was some points of contention between you on whether or not you were together." she added. "What happened there?" And she was really glad people were so open and talking to her about things. Such fascinating stories, and this stuff really happened to people. People she now knew. It was kind of mind blowing. She wondered if she'd ever be in his position. Telling a story about what had happened to her. It was comforting to think about in a way.

"She wanted me to move on," Billy shrugged, as though this was never really a possibility and it had been insane for Maddie to think otherwise. "After she died. She tried to tell me that we couldn't be together, that I should forget her and find myself a 'proper girlfriend' - that there was no way I could be in a relationship with a ghost."

Lullaby had enough self control not to squee again. But that was just...wow. There were guys out there like him? Guys who would totally not think that all the other stuff was important and would stay with a woman even though she was dead and there was nothing that could be done like...physically? It melted the heart is what that did. It was the sweetest thing she'd ever heard. And he'd even been all young! Most guys his age would probably flee in total terror at the very idea. Though, Lullaby being an open freaking book, her expression articulated what she thought of that well enough without her having to say it. "And you didn't want anyone else?" she suggested.

Billy gave her a Look. "You know, I really shouldn't answer that question," he told her, though he still sounded amused. God, he'd walked right into this conversation, hadn't he. "I wanted her. And I don't much like being told what I should and shouldn't want by someone else. Anyway, I don't do so well without her." Which was a massive understatement.

There was another Aww moment for him. "No? I'd think not...not if you guys were as close as you were, and I can see how you would have gotten that way, with your situations. And then everything went wrong, and the town got demolished. You said it was three years though, before you bound her here to be with you again?" She wondered why it took so long. But then again, she didn't know anything about spirits, so maybe it wasn't easy to do, or he hadn't known how. "And I'm assuming you wore her down eventually since she's no longer arguing about being together?" Steadfast, too. Billy was just one amazing guy. That you-only-read-about-them-in-ridiculous-novels sort of guy.

"Things changed over the years," Billy told her. "I grew up and still wanted the same things - I think three years of attempting to move on, failing to do so and learning everything I could about bound spirits and rebinding them says something to a girl. And then there was the fact that I stopped trying to keep her a secret. Before she was bound here, not even Oz and Sophie knew about her. That changed - my outlook changed. I had to prove to her that I was serious and while telling your friends that your girlfriend was, in fact, dead was hard, they got used to it eventually. Though I got my fair share of 'you know this isn't healthy's from all sides. And then we found that Maddie can manifest. Not often, five minutes a day, maximum, but it.. makes a difference."

That made her feel better for them. She was in the whole 'oh god that's beautifully tragic' mindframe, never being able to touch and stuff. But hey, if she was around for five minutes, that was something, right? Though possibly just more angsty. "It's a beautiful story." she told him. Then she gave him a little half smile. "Sort of makes me feel slightly less like I might be y'know. Horribly doomed." Because sometimes she did think that. Like when she thought about losing Dean. How he'd drift off and get his own life with nice, living people. And Joshua...she didn't even know how to start thinking about that.

"You think you're horribly doomed?" Billy asked - more to get off the subject of himself and clutching at the first sign that he could do that than anything else. It made him uncomfortable having some young girl look at him like he was the hero in a romance novel, when he knew he was anything but.

She made a bit of a face and nodded. "Yeah. I mean...I’m all dead and everything. I can't go home, I can't go back to school, life for me is over. But I'm still here. And I mean...people have been great. And the people here are great. I mean, even just taking you for instance. You don't--" she paused, then sighed and continued. "You don't talk to me like I'm some weird creature thing that died a week ago. You were just sort of talking to me like...I don't know. Like you knew me. Or like I was normal. Both, maybe. And that helps a lot. You don't look at me like I'm anything strange. I know I made Sophie uncomfortable, but then we had a really long talk today and she seems better, so I feel better about that. But I mean...how long can this sort of thing last? It's insanely unfair to people to have this huge secret. I know it's already been unfair to Dean, since he has to go to school and keep acting like I'm dead when he knows I'm not. Joshua's out of school, so he's got less to worry about there, but even so. It's all...yeah. I kind of feel a lot of the time like I up and died, and the rest of me hasn't caught on yet, and it's kinda wrong." The last part actually surprised her a little. It articulated her feelings well, but she hadn't even in her own head put that fine a point on it.

"You're not dead," Billy told her, knowing that he had a warped point of view on all of this, but he wasn't going to pretend it wasn't his point of view and he refused to deny its validity. "And just because you died doesn't mean to say you can't have a life. Or that you're not some kind of normal - whatever that is. Normal, I mean, not you. And Dean'll cope - I kept Maddie a secret for ages," Billy shrugged. "Joshua too - that's just what you do."

"Yeah, but we can't even like...go for walks together, or spend time someplace that isn't an abandoned house or here, and the only reason I'm here is because I told Dean if he ever really had to tell, he had permission. So I kind of have to lock myself away and everything. And eventually they're going to kind of...wanna do things that normal people are doing. Like go to the movies. Or the beach, and I can't do any of that, and I really don't want to be the girl that's like...holding them back." she explained. "If that makes sense. And I know...they'd both be pissed to hear it, but I still feel that way. So a lot of the time I feel like this insane little secret that needs to be kept shut away and that's not far from the truth. Then I keep thinking, and figure that it's probably best if they do wander off and have less insanity that is me in their lives--" she broke off. "...I'm sounding like Maddie aren't I." she said. Since he'd edged around that subject, and how Maddie had had trouble with him staying with her. Probably for some of the same reasons.

"Just like Maddie," Billy agreed, highly, stupidly amused and letting it show. "Almost word for word in parts. Look, let me ask you a question? Are you clinging on to them? Either of them? Are you making them stay against their will? Or asking them not to leave? or would you? If they wanted to go, would you let them? Because if that's what they want to do, that's one thing - but chasing them off because of some 'I know best' theory doesn't work. I stayed with Maddie because I love her, because she's the part of me that was always missing. Because life without her isn't a life I want. And no, it's not perfect. And yeah, there's things that I miss from our relationship that if I broke up with her and found a 'normal' girl I could have. But that normal girl wouldn't be Maddie and I couldn't get with her what I have with Maddie. And, anyway, my life's never going to be normal, with what I am. I've made my peace with everything, I've made my decisions. I'm even okay with ending up being the old guy who lives alone and talks to himself - never mind the fact that I'll be the ancient guy with the eighteen year old girlfriend, even if I'm the only one who can see her. I've dealt with the fact I'm never going to have a family, kids, whatever. There's lots that I can't do, but nothing's ever perfect - you've just got to figure out whether it's worth it. And you can't make that decision for them. All you can do is let them make it for themselves."

Lullaby listened to every word, really wanting the perspective. It was different, coming from Billy. It really was. Because he wasn't under some imaginary obligation to make her feel better about things, and he'd actually been through--and was still going through--something similar. When he went through the initial questions, she shook her head. No. She wasn't forcing anything. She hadn't even really asked for anything, let alone for them to stick around if they didn't want to be. One thing she did want to know though. "...when did you know for sure?" she asked, and her voice was slightly quieter than usual. "That you'd decided, that it was right for you and that's what you really wanted. When did you know? Did you ever have doubts?"

"I don't know," Billy admitted. "I don't think there was a moment that I could put my finger on and say 'that, that right there, that's when'. Part of me always knew, I think and it's like the rest was just playing catch up. And I don't know if I ever had doubts - I'm not a big one for doubts. Never have been. But I can tell you that when I'm not with her, I feel like half a person. If nothing else, that tells me that this is the right thing for me."

"Really? She means that much to you?" she asked, then immediately thought that she probably shouldn't have. "You don't have to answer that." she added, because he already had said, hadn't he. She looked quietly thoughtful, milling everything he'd said over in her mind. "You're happy?" she asked. Because that was important. Very important. Possibly the most important thing ever. Because if he was, if that was possible, even with the weird and the tragedy, and everything else...

"No - I'm completely miserable and am just staying with the girl out of pity and I was just bullshitting with everything I just told you," Billy deadpanned, giving her a Look. "Yes, I'm happy, she's happy - there's happiness going on. There'd be even more if the vampires would leave town - and leave it in one piece - and we could actually go back to the way things were."

Lullaby made a cute face at him and stuck her tongue out. "Meanie." she accused, though it was playful. "Okay. Point taken. And I'll really keep it in mind, too. Thank you for sharing that with me, it's...it's really good perspective." she explained. "And I know they could tell me the same thing, and sorta have in some ways, but it's different coming from you." She quirked a little half smile. "You aren't going to just tell me this stuff to make me feel better. But they would." Or she thought they would. Probably.

"They can only give you their perspective as it seems right now. And maybe that'll change - maybe they will need to go back to a 'normal' life - I didn't, but that doesn't mean they might not feel that need. Which I realise isn't all that comforting, but there it is. And probably proves to you that I'm not just telling you things to make you feel better," Billy suggested.

She nodded. "I've already thought about it. Like...like with Joshua, I think it'll be easier for him to stick by longer. He's got less to do here, unless he goes back to school like I keep telling him to, and stuff like that. But Dean...he's got to finish high school yet, which means he'll have other people to hang out with since I'm not there with him every day anymore, and he'll be doing things with them and I can't be a part of that. Even if he'd want me to, and I would want to, because I miss everyone so much." She was getting a little emotional, and hadn't meant to, so she took a second before she continued, giving him a sincerely apologetic look. She was sure he had better things to do than have undead teenage girls crying at him. "But y'know, it's just...natural." And she was pretty much her current definition of unnatural. "So, when it happens, I'm not going to stop it. And I'd still always be here for them. But...yeah." She gave a rueful little half smile. "I've thought about it a lot."

"Obviously," Billy told her, stretching a little and rolling his shoulders. He figured this was a good time to start making an exit - being cried on by teenage girls wasn't his forte and he'd avoid it if her could. He stood and looked down at her. "But, just remember - I was a school kid as well. With Maddie. People knew I'd had a girlfriend - that she died. I had to finish high school, hang out with people, all that. I'm not saying it'd be like that, it's different, but, yeah. It'll go one way or the other - time will tell, right?"

She looked up and nodded. "Yeah. Sorry for..." she made a vague gesture at herself. "But thanks for talking to me." she added. "I can take this stuff and go upstairs, you were here first." Because she did know an exit when she saw one, and this was it. Her and her stupid emotional triggers. But at least she hadn't actually cried. That was a plus.

He shook his head. "No, it's fine - time I was going anyway. Thought I might go for a walk before the sun gets too low in the sky. I'm not good at being cooped up all day," he told her, knowing that she'd caught him trying to make a fast exit and wanting to do some damage control. She seemed like a nice enough girl and she had enough problems, obviously, without thinking she was being run off.

"Kay. Have a nice walk then. It seemed nice outside." Not that she'd been outside, but she'd opened a window for a little while, and it had been alright. She also gave him a smile, a genuine one. She'd enjoyed the talk, and had a whole lot to think about now that she hadn't before. "Say hi to Maddie for me, if you think to."

"I will," Billy promised - not a hard one to make considering that he was intending on calling for her the moment he hit the treeline. Which, he realised as he headed outside, leaving through the back door, was another needless twitch - everyone here knew about Maddie, yet he still hesitated sometimes, not liking being seen talking to himself. It was stupid, really. But still, he waited before he called her all the same.