if you leave...

Who: Dean and Thia
Where: By the lake/inside
When: Evening

Dean's hand was still throbbing when he got back from Maddie's and he'd grabbed himself some painkillers and thrown them back, before looking around for Thia, Sophie telling him that she thought the girl was down by the lake. As he walked down through the trees, he palmed the small bundle of healing mojo from his pocket and ran it over the back of his injured hand, feeling it leave little tingles in its wake. Hopefully it'd help out, though his knuckles were still cracked and swollen.

He emerged out from the trees and onto the beach, heading over towards where he could see his friend sitting, studying the now-familiar book on fades.

Lullaby had wanted to come down by the water and have some quiet alone time, to go over the book she really didn't want to be going over. It was the tone. It was like she could feel accusation pointed at her loud and clear on every page. 'You evil, vile thing, you. Abomination is too kind a word'. or something like that. Either way, she wasn't a fan, and it was hard for her to get through. This was due largely to the fact that a lot of it she agreed with. She'd skipped over some of the finer points about fade creation, and was trying to find out more about her other 'abilities'. Currently, she'd stumbled onto something about mirror travel. Which at once was intensely neat, and absolutely terrifying. She shut her eyes and drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she felt her headache sort of worsening. Maybe she wasn't used to being out in the fresh air and sunlight or something, because she kind of wasn't feeling so good. But she wanted to take advantage of being able to go outside whenever she wanted to again, and so was being stubborn about retreating back to the house. Not hearing Dean's approach, she rubbed at the back of her neck lightly, and tried to figure out if she had the brain power to continue reading about the crazy ass world of mirror travel.

He knew she wouldn't hear his approach, but there was little he could do about that, other than shout at her from a distance, something which he wasn't really a fan of, so he just circled round behind her, before sitting down on her right hand side, a foot or so away from her, keeping his injured hand casually out of sight. "Hey, how's your day been?" he asked her, leaning forward, his left arm resting on his pulled up knees as he looked over at her.

When she noticed him, she looked over and there was an immediate if tired smile. "Hey." she said, catching most of what he'd said to her. "Um...quiet?" she suggested. "I've been doing school things, and y'know...research." she said, holding the book up a bit. "Yours?" she asked. "Was school fun and exciting? Did you learn new things that you just can't wait to apply to your daily life?" she asked, light little teasing tone in her voice. "Oh wait, this is you. You don't like school. So I'm guessing it was more a dreary, tedious day in a building filled with hopelessness and extreme boredom."

Dean chuckled a little at that, his mind going to his throbbing hand, recalling the sound of his fist impacting with Chance's face. The sound of his back being pushed up against the wall, all of it. "Yeah, kinda dull," he agreed, blandly. His eyes dropped to the book, then returned to her face. "Learn anything new?" he asked her. "Anything in there about the invisible thing?"

"Yeah, and I guess it's not invisibility. Well, like, the shadows thing, I guess, but what it was saying about the other thing is I guess I can just...fade out." Lullaby said. "There wasn't a lot about that, actually. Just that it was possible, it's the same principal that applies when I guess I--" she stopped for a second, then hesitated, before continuing since she knew he'd call her on dodging if she didn't. "My body goes away at daybreak after I've died." she finished, slightly quieter than before. "But it's the same thing. It said that it's not quite the same as before or something. My real body is buried, and if it got dug up, it would still be there. Then I skipped over some of it to read about something slightly less mind numbingly terrifying." she said. "And found something kind of also terrifying. Apparently? I can travel through mirrors."

Dean nodded along with that - but it was only as she spoke that he realised that he'd known that. About her body. And, apparently she hadn't. He hadn't mentioned it to her, but apparently neither had anyone else. "I knew - about... Oz told me. That when the sun came up, you just disappeared," he told her, feeling bad that he'd not mentioned it to her. But, really, he hadn't wanted to talk about her death and having an objective conversation about it - well, he wasn't the world's best at objectivity.

She looked a little surprised, but then nodded. Yeah, really, when does that come up? It doesn't. And they were far more concentrated on other aspects than 'by the way your corpse poofed in the morning'. "We've been kind of busy dealing with the horror of things." she put in there. "But I've been reading and I guess I can sort of go into a mirror?" she suggested, making a little bit of a face. "And come out a different one. Which could be really neat, and I've been kind of thinking about it a little as I've been reading, I should set up like...safe mirrors. Around town and all, so I can get places fast if I have to." It was still a vague idea in her head, but it had formed very quickly, the implications clear to her.

But you don't like mirrors, was Dean's first, gut reaction. She hated them - she avoided them whenever she could. And, well, he'd seen her reflection and he didn't blame her for not wanting to go there. But, he wasn't going to bring that up if she didn't. "Is it safe?" he asked her, instead. "And the fade out thing - is that safe too? You didn't say," he reminded her. Because she hadn't - he didn't know if she was avoiding, or if it was just that she still didn't know, but either way, her safety was his prime concern.

She shifted her position slightly, giving herself a minute. She wound up laying back on her elbows, and stretching out her legs. "Like I said, it didn't have a lot of information. It says that I can do it, and I guess I can move, too. And if there's enough space to find a way in somewhere, I can do that, it'll just take a while. Like, I can't move any faster than I could if I were walking. It didn't say it was dangerous in and of itself, but it also said that it takes practice and concentration, and that if I fuck it up while in that sort of dissolved form...yeah. I could be in trouble." There was a horror story in here about a fade who had remanifested inside a stone wall, half in half out and they kept dying, only to be resurrected in the same spot, every day, over and over, dead, back dead, back dead... A light little shudder of revulsion went through her.

Dean eyed her, sure there was something she wasn't saying there. "Lemme have a look," he said, holding his left hand out for the book. He wanted to read about this for himself, be able to judge what the risks were. Not that he'd be able to stop her if she was determined, he knew. But at least he'd be there with her in knowing what was going on.

She handed the book over. "There's just something creepy about it. I mean, I want to be able to get good at it. I just think it's going to be something I'll need to be careful with until I'm really confident with it. Otherwise I'll just stick to little things, and keep working at it." Hopefully, I won't be in dire need of the ability any time soon, or I could be fucked. "The mirror thing sounds like it could be useful too though." she added. "...there was kind of a drawback they were talking about with that too..." Lullaby glanced over at him, and made another face. "Why is it other people in the world have these neat abilities that don't totally screw them over, or have the potential to, and you and I are stuck with stuff that there's a string attached to almost everything?"

"Obviously we're just special," Dean said, glancing at her before flipping through the pages until he found the right part - which was easier said than done, since he didn't want to use his right hand, yet didn't want to be seen as obviously avoiding the use of his right hand. He ended up sitting back a little, resting the text on his pulled up legs and flipping with his left hand. "What's the drawback?" he asked her as he started to read, skimming as much as he could and really wishing he was a faster reader than he actually was.

There was something weird going on with him and she couldn't place what at the moment. But something was...awkward. Which had her paying attention more closely, even though she didn't say anything yet. She wasn't feeling well and it could just be paranoia. "If the mirror breaks while I'm passing through it or something, I could get...um. Lost." she said, trying to word that delicately. She didn't think he'd be overjoyed to hear that, really. In fact, she was already sort of tensing for his reaction as she watched him carefully.

He stopped reading and looked across when he practically heard the capitalisation of that word. "'Lost' how?" he asked, starting to lean forward, then stopping - because his natural move would have been to rest his right arm on his knees, keeping his body language open towards her. But he couldn't do that, because then she'd see his hand and the game would be up. Damn.

"It didn't say exactly. It was kinda..sketchy on that bit. Just that if it happens, I might get lost. Like, not here anymore lost. And that I could come back! But that sometimes they kinda...don't." she said, looking a bit pained. "Sorry, I'm kind of finding that a lot of the natural questions on things aren't actually fleshed out in that stupid book. Like it's giving me just enough information to have a lot of questions, and then stops. It said I could learn how to go from mirror to mirror in a heartbeat, really fast and all and it says that the size of the mirror doesn't matter. Something about my form being dissolveable again, but whatever, point being that it kind of put in the lost thing as a side note."

"We definitely need a better book," Dean sighed. "And an unbreakable mirror. Mirrors. Or, y'know, a car," he added, teasing. Though he was thinking that a car would eb so nice right now - especially considering the long and hard ride to Maddie's and back that left him feeling like the nicest thing in the world right now would be to go for a cooling and refreshing swim in the lake. Or a shower - but the lake was closer.

"Yeah, you know there was that car thought, and then I remembered I can't actually have part of that, and you don't have one." Lullaby teased back. She was glad he wasn't staying on the her maybe disappearing thing. It had scared her, and while she knew she was going to give it a shot...sometime here, maybe not today, she was as a matter of fact, just a wee bit terrified. Just a little. "But if I could instantaneously zip from like...here to wherever you might be, if something happens, I wouldn't complain about that. More efficient than a car." she pointed out.

"Well, firstly - why can't you have part of that? And I'll get a car eventually. Probably. hopefully. But still, yeah, there will be some form of vehicular transport in my future. And, sure, being able to instantaneously travel from one place to the next would be cool, but... I'm kinda stuck on the 'lost' of it all. That's not a good thing," he pointed out.

"I can't drive, and you can't be seen with me." Lullaby said, ticking the points off on her fingers. "Let's not forget the whole if you were pulled over, and I was with you? The police would see me, and some of them were at my murder scene." she continued. "Small town and all." Then she shrugged, like it wasn't scaring the shit out of her. "Well, I'm not happy about it either, but I'd rather have it and get good at it, and all that than ignore it and wish I had it if something terrible happened and I needed to be someplace else five minutes ago." Which was flat truth on that one. And, at the end of the day, if she was really needed and that got her where she needed to be faster, she would risk being lost.

"You often have 'need to be somewhere five minutes ago' emergencies, do you?" Dean teased, lightly, but he took the point about the car. It was so hard to keep in mind that people knew her face - even if they could get her a new identity, they'd still know her face. "Maybe you should start growing your hair," he suggested, absently thinking about reaching out and touching it, but not doing that. "And I have a list from Caleb that you need to look at - information he needs," he added.

"Wouldn't it have been a lot nicer if you hadn't had to do a suicide drive into town to come collect me when vampires were attacking our town?" Lullaby asked, half reaching over to prod his shoulder, though she sort of didn't finish the action. Then she thought about it, dragging her fingers through her short hair. If it was long, I'd have to start paying more attention to what it was doing, and that would mean lots of pictures and it's really hard to do things blind, and by the way I'm not going to start being okay with my reflection just because I might have to start facing it. she thought, but didn't say. "Maybe I will." she said absently instead. Then she refocused. "What kind of information?" she asked.

"Still would have had to come," Dean told her. "Because you wouldn't have left without Joshua," he added, before realising that maybe he shouldn't. Was he allowed to bring the guy's name up? Was that a sore spot best avoided? Should he tell her he saw the guy today? About his injuries? Moving on! "And, er - I avhe a list. In my bag. Back at the house. Like, personal details - and we need to get you some photos done."

"Yeah, I know, that doesn't change my point, which is it would have been helpful in a situation if I was somewhere else, and needed to be here, or elsewhere, or...you know what I mean." Lullaby said, sulking slightly, and she looked away, though not for long, considering they were talking, and he was a few feet away, so she might miss things. "Photos?" she asked, frowning. "Are they photos that have to be developed? I guess they could have been taken pre-death if you bring them in or something..."

"...Or we could just use a digital camera and print them off," Dean suggested with an amused smirk. "The wonders of modern technology. I have a camera - my parents gave it to me as a going away present thingy, said that they wanted me to be able to send back pictures of where I was living. I've haven't actually used it, but it's in my room," he told her. The not use had been a combination of pissiness with his parents, not wanting to break it by mistake, and not really knowing where to start with all the buttons and settings.

"Or, we could do that." Lullaby said, feeling mildly stupid. She didn't have a digital camera and when she thought about id's and the like, it seemed more...real picturey. Though she supposed maybe not anymore. She didn't know. She didn't have a license, and hadn't planned on getting one. The most she'd had was a school id. "So, I guess we'll do that then. When did you want to?" she asked. She leaned her head back a little bit, feeling her headache getting worse. She'd been kind of trying to ignore the not-good feelings she was having, but it was getting more difficult for her. Stupid sickness. She was dead, shouldn't she not get sick anymore? Actually...that was probably something to look up.

"Sooner the better?" Dean suggested. "Maybe over the weekend - I need to organise some things with Oz and Sophie as well. I was going to ask them for a loan, but I figure that considering what it's for, it's best if I do that alone. I don't want them to feel.. I think with you there they might feel bad about saying no," he said, slowly, for once deciding to talk to her upfront about things he was going to do.

Lullaby opened her mouth, then shut it again. She looked away for a long moment, then back at Dean. "How much?" she asked, voice quiet. She really kind of hated the way this sounded. Like it was going to be some insane amount, and she wasn't going to be able to pay it back. What if that happened? Suddenly, pretty much the entire sucktasticness of her future blindsided her again, and she didn't even see it coming. But there it was. A fake identity, owing people things she couldn't ever really pay back, living a shadow life. God. She really needed to not be doing this right now.

"A lot," Dean told her. "Thousands. But I'm hoping that Oz and Sophie'll loan it - they have the money and all, and it's not like they wouldn't get it back. Once you have a new identity, you can have a life - like you said, you can do things, you can get a job eventually and I'll help you out with paying it back. We'll work it out. It's too important not to."

Thousands. That sounded...insurmountable. She didn't have thousands. In fact, she figured in the entirety of her life, she'd never even seen that much money. It wasn't that her family was poor, but they weren't well to do either. "That's too much to ask, Dean." she said simply. Then she did look away, which she knew was unfair of her, but she needed to for a minute. And if she felt slightly less like if she stood up she would fall back over, she probably would have got up and walked away a few paces, just to put more space between them.

"No it's not. This would make such a difference, Thia. We both know that," he told her, loud enough that he knew she'd be able to hear him even if she wasn't looking at him.

She tried to get up anyways at that point. She made it, too, though she only walked a few paces over to the nearest tree and leaned against that. She felt worse now, though she was attributing it to the sensation that she might have her very first panic attack. Reaching up, she scrubbed her hands over her face and drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "It's too much to ask for. I wasn't thinking that it would be...thousands, Dean? And you can't...no. You can't help me pay that back, I'm not your responsibility, it's not--I can't ask for this. Even if it's you doing the asking, I just..." she shook her head, and half slid down the tree to a crouched position, back supported by the tree still, and she looked at the water.

Dean watched her walk away for a moment, before he followed, keeping pace with her, watching her, putting her physical reaction down to the fairly shocking news he'd just given her - he'd anticipated this reaction, after all. And when she crouched down, he did the same, his elbows resting on his knees, though he covered his right hand with his left. "You're not asking for this, Thia. I am. And you've not asked me for this either. I want to do this. It would make such a difference and we both know it," he told her, thinking that she might not have thought it would cost that much, but he'd been anticipating that all along. Just as he'd known all along that he'd pay whatever it took. Or, rather, somehow borrow whatever it took, but he thought Oz would lend it to him. Hoped he would. Really, it was Sophie he was more concerned about. "I know you're not my responsibility, Thia. I never thought you were, but you're my best friend. And I want the best for you. Always."

"Well, you shouldn't have to ask for shit like this." Lullaby said, looking away. She was still feeling like the walls were closing in on her. "And I know you do, just...this feels like way too much. I mean, thousands? I know that you live here, and they've got money, and maybe you did I don't know, but I've never had a life like that, and I'm not going to and I just..." she rested her forehead against her palm, fingers half threading into her bangs. Her eyes were sort of half on him, not on his eyes though. She felt a little like she was falling apart here and she didn't necessarily want him to see that. Even if he might be anyways. It wasn't like he wasn't observant, or like he didn't know her stupidly well. "I think it's too much. Sort of...all the way around." she finished.

Dean was beginning to wish now that he'd gone with Plan A and just not told her until it was all organised and too late for her to do anything about it. He knew she hated that, but it appeared that she hated this as well and at least the other way minimised stress and took some of her guilt away. "If that's how much it costs, Thia, that's how much it costs," he told her. "Look, neither of us have very much money, it was always going to be too much, no matter how much or how little it was. We were always going to have to borrow it from somewhere. Now, we just have to borrow more," he told her, trying to sound reasonable about this. Yeah, next time he'd go back to just doing it and worrying about her reaction after the fact.

"Will you please stop saying 'we', like this is on you too?" Lullaby said, finally looking back to his eyes. "It's not, and I really, really don't think I can deal with you taking on that much responsibility for me. I'm already crashing everything, and--" she broke off there and just shut up. She kind of wanted to get farther away again. Go for a walk, hide somewhere. Find an existence that didn't seem to be so wholly dependent on other people. And yet that's what she was stuck with right now. She knew it, she just didn't like it, and this seemed more over the top for her. Probably because it had a real, measurable amount. Thousands of dollars. Yeah that was a pretty fine point. She had a couple hundred, something like...three, or maybe two-something, since she'd given Dean money for books and things before. That didn't even really knock a dent in the proceedings.

"You're not crashing anything, Thia. And you're... I just want to help, Thia. That's all," He told her, wanting to reach out for her then, but not doing so, just staying squatted where he was instead, looking at her not quite looking at him. "I want the best for you, I want you to be able to have a life again - and this'll help with that. You need this."

She didn't say anything for a few long minutes. She tried to get rationality back, because she was aware she had parted company with it a bit back, though she couldn't say exactly when. Rational. Okay. Rationally, he was probably right. It was necessary for her in the long run to have the things they were looking to get. Because she'd need an identity someday. She couldn't really get any kind of job before then, period, so she couldn't even really ask that they just put things off for a bit until she had enough money on her own to pay for it. If they went that way it could take years. The flip side was she really hated feeling like she was putting people out, and even more so than usual. Arguably, she wasn't putting too many people out by staying at the house. They had the space, money, and she didn't even actually eat, so really she just took up space, mostly. The education thing she could justify to herself because Sophie insisted. So that was her holding up her end of the bargain as well. This, though. This just seemed huge. Huge and really putting people out, and it was different in her head than other things. And the way Dean kept saying 'we' like he was just...planning on helping her, end of story, like his nature dictated, that made her feel worse. Because she was pretty sure, he would probably do that. Just...pay it back, and if it took her til they were in their thirties to even start paying on things, he'd probably have it taken care of already and he'd tell her it wasn't anything. Because that's what Dean did. ...apparently, he took care of her. Fuck. In the end she didn't say anything, because she didn't know what to say, and she looked back towards the water.

Good, he'd take that as agreement. He knew she wasn't happy about it, but she didn't have to be. She just had to stop fighting him on it. He stood slightly and moved across, sitting down next to her, resting his hands on his knees, totally forgetting about his injured hand for now as he watched her out of the corner of his eye whilst pretending to be looking out at the lake as well, joining her in silence.

She still didn't say anything, or move for a minute, and then something else drew her attention. Her gaze drifted over, then locked onto his hand. That's what had been awkward. She hadn't seen that, and the little shit had been hiding it. Immediately, she reached out to grab his hand and pull it over, looking at the split knuckles, and swelling. She cradled his hand between hers, frowning darkly. "What did you do?" she asked, looking at him finally, and hey she even made eye contact. This sort of skated the rest of her thoughts to the back of her mind while this took precedence. "Are you okay?" She could feel the spikes of pain, not as sharp as Billy's had been, and not as smooth and dull like the bruises she'd taken since figuring out her healing thing felt like. It was somewhere in between. Lullaby's eyes were pretty much all over him then, looking to see if there was anything else she'd missed while caught in the grip of feeling awful about everything ever.

Dean met her eyes and carefully drew back his hand, not trusting her not to simply take the injury. "I'm fine, just had a slight disagreement, nothing to worry about," he reassured her.

She frowned when he took his hand back, and she half reached for it again, before she caught herself. So she sat back, still frowning. "Well, clearly you had a disagreement with your fist." she said. "What happened?" she asked. Then she decided she did want to look better at his hand and tried to reach for it again. "Let me see." she said. "Have you iced it? Or disinfected it?"

He held his hand back, out of her reach. "Promise me that you won't heal it first," he told her, seriously.

She stopped, and looked at him, blinking then actually looking just a bit hurt. "We've talked about this." she said. "And last time, I believe you gave me holy fucking hell for taking bruises that didn't mean shit to you and you didn't even notice were gone. I'm not really looking to piss you off again, and you've asked me not to do that with you, and I wouldn't go against that unless it was...unless it was something major, and--" she looked away for a long moment, jaw set, and quite clearly unhappy.

He looked down then, when she said all that, feeling bad. It took him a minute before he spoke. "I'm sorry, I..." I just needed to be sure. But he should have been sure anyway, shouldn't he? Only last time she'd taken them without even saying anything. And yeah, he'd been pissed, but... But he did things that he knew she'd be pissed about, he knew and he did them anyway, because they were what needed to be done and he'd prefer to take her wrath once they couldn't be undone. "Sorry," he repeated.

Lullaby wasn't necessarily in a terribly forgiving mood just now. Not with as lousy a place her head was at. But she also didn't want to take it out on Dean. So she looked back at him after what felt like a really long time. "Let's go back to the house. Let me at least take care of it." she mumbled, finding at least that slightly easier for her to concentrate on than the rest of the shit going on in her head. "You can explain what kind of disagreement winds up with you fucking up your hand."

Maddie had already given him something to help with the healing, but he hadn't washed it or anything yet. And, right now, even if he had he wouldn't be saying shit about that, because he was feeling very much in the dog house at the moment and she could do whatever she wanted. "'Kay," he said, getting to his feet and going to rescue the book from where it had been abandoned.

Lullaby pushed herself to her feet and leaned one hand on the tree for a moment, feeling that wave of ick again. She was glad Dean grabbed the book, though. She also wondered if she was being inordinately out of it right now. She'd ask after she took care of his hand. She started walking up the path, drawing in deep, even breaths as she did so. When she got back out into the daylight from the nicer shadows beneath the tree, she felt worse again. It was warm and everything, but yeah. Really sort of making her head feel like someone was taking metal skewers to it. And not being helpful and removing the bone first or anything, just jabbing it right on through.

Dean had been following on behind her as they left the beach, but he soon caught her up since she was walking slower than she normally did. He walked with her through the trees, the book held under his left arm, the rustling of the trees in the breeze covering any other sound until they emerged back out into the sunlight and he led the way up to the house.

She fell behind a little bit, but just kept walking, not saying anything. She was kind of feeling like maybe it'd be better when they got back inside, and she could take care of his hand, then maybe lay down. It occurred to her that she was thinking about medicine. She knew that she could take painkillers and they worked. But right now she kind of just felt icky all over, and her stomach wasn't happy with her, and it wasn't like she ate anymore. Not really. So would taking pepto or something even work, when there wasn't anything in her stomach and hadn't been in ages? All great questions, which she had nothing in the way of answers for.

He noticed when she started to fall behind - mostly because he found himself slowing to keep up with her and they weren't going particularly fast in the first place. He was frowning a little as he looked over to her. "You okay?" he asked.

"I don't feel good." Lullaby said, frowning a little as she looked over at him. "I kind of started feeling worse earlier, but I haven't been outside in so long that I thought I'd just stay out and maybe that would help, but...sorry." she said. "...and I'm really sorry if I'm acting out of it or strange or if I'm taking things out on you, too." she added, sighing heavily, and she tugged her fingers through her hair again. "I'm currently wondering if I tried to take something for my stomach if it would even work considering I probably don't have the same condition that normal people have for stomach issues." she told him.

Dean stepped in and put his arm around her waist to support her. "Come on, let's get you inside - maybe you just need to lie down for a while," he suggested. "You've had a hell of a time of it lately, maybe everything's just catching up with you now." Or maybe her dad's doing something. Maybe he's undoing the spell and this is the first sign, the paranoid little voice in the back of his mind spoke up.

She leaned against him a little bit, though not a lot, the back of her mind sort of bitching at her for it. "I'll be okay, I'm just feeling off." she said. "Headachey, kinda achey in general. I'll get over it. I still am going to look at your hand." Yeah she wasn't letting that go. Fuck being sick, that was getting tended to. She even gave him a weak kind of smile at that.

"My hand's fine - Maddie looked at it earlier when I went round," he assured her, letting that bit of information out now that his priorities had shifted. "Headachey and achey isn't good - let's get you laid down and I'll flip through the book, see if there's anything on fades getting ill," he told her as they entered the house and he led her to one of the couches in the den.

"Did she clean it? And you still haven't said what happened with you." she added, flopping down on one of the couches. They were comfy in here. She liked the den in general. Or maybe she was just glad to be inside and feeling slightly more secure or something, she didn't know. Then she sat back up again. "Gimme a minute, I'll be back." she said, getting back up again. It felt cooler inside to her. Even if it hadn't been overwhelmingly hot outside or anything, but it still felt nicer inside.

Dean put a hand on her shoulder. "Sit. Whatever it is, I'll get it for you. You're not feeling well - sit down," he told her, firmly, lightly pressing down on her shoudler as he looked down at her.

Lullaby made a bit of a face at him, but it was more her cute-face than a displeased one. "Fine, get me one of the first aid kits, and a cold, damp washcloth for my face. Because I don't think you can bring me the sink so I can splash water on myself." she said.

"Sit," he repeated. "And I'll be right back," he promised, before disappearing into the kitchen to collect everything she'd asked for. He ended up piling it all on a tray, including a glass of water in case she wanted it, before he headed back into the den, sitting down on the couch and setting the tray on the floor.

She'd sort of half curled up on the side of the couch, resting her head down on the arm of it, and looked back over when he returned. She half crawled over, and leaned down to pick up the first aid kit first, setting that on the cushion next to her. Then she took the washcloth and pressed it to her face for a good minute and a half, letting it sort of soothe her. It worked to some extent, she felt her headache ebbing some. Granted it didn't magically make everything all better, but she was feeling slightly more human. Or something approximating that. She scrubbed it over her face then folded it and held it to the back of her neck, before turning her eyes on Dean again. "Promise me you aren't hurt anywhere else." she said. She hadn't felt any injuries on him beyond the obvious, but she hadn't been trying to either. She'd rather hear it from him.

"I'm fine," he assured her more concerned about her right now. "It's all good, no need to worry - how're you feeling?" he asked her, reaching for the book and flipping through, seeing if there was anything obvious on illnesses.

"A little better." she answered. She glanced around then grabbed a pillow, and set it on her lap as she faced him, indian style. She reached out to take his hand and she set it on the pillow, leaning over it to inspect it better. "You can get on that telling me what happened thing any time now." she added, thinking it needed disinfecting, and to be covered so he wasn't picking up things like dirt and grinding it into the owies. She was glad it didn't seem worse, and that he didn't appear to have been in a full fledged fight, but still. "And I wasn't there to throw rocks, clearly. Sorry about that. I fail as a sidekick." She sifted through the stuff in the kit and got out the disinfectant.

"Seems to me you already know what happened," Dean told her, wishing she'd just lie down and take some time for herself, rather than fussing about him, but he wasn't going to fight her on it. "Some guy decided to wind me up, I punched him. End of story."

"Who was it, and what was he saying?" Lullaby asked, looking up from his hand to his eyes, concerned. She didn't like the idea of someone messing with Dean. In fact, it kicked up little protective sorts of instincts in her, and she was thinking that she kinda hoped Dean had at least handed out as much damage as he got. That...probably wasn't good of her. "Details, please." she added, and then started disinfecting his knuckles as gently as she could manage it.

"It's not a big deal, Thia," Dean protested, not wanting to get into this, because he'd been talking about her death and Dean didn't want Thia to have to know about what the guy had said.

Lullaby didn't say anything for a few moments, continuing to disinfect his hand, and she was careful with it. Then she lightly blew on it, in case it stung. It's what her mom had always done, so it was kind of an automatic little reaction. "You know, when you dodge questions that probably shouldn't be like pulling teeth to get you to answer, it just makes me more suspicious." she said after a few moments, looking back up to his eyes for a moment before she looked for a bandage that might be appropriate for him.

He'd been fine up until the moment that she'd blown on his hand. Sure, it had stung a bit, but he'd just sat there and they'd been talking and - and then all of a sudden her breath was warm against his skin and his mind went all kinds of fuzzy as he just stopped and stared at the top of her head.

He started breathing again with a small start as she looked up and he came to, realising that he'd been staring and that she was expecting him to be, like, speaking or something. Right. He should get on that. Shit. "I - I..." Words, Conway, words! "Haven't we had this conversation before?" he managed, his voice sounding funny to his ears.

She was looking at him and her head tilted to the side a little bit, wondering what that had been about. It was then that she sort of half realized that she still had hold of his hand, in a gentle sort of manner, and she instantly felt bad, wondering if she was doing it again. The close thing. Damnit. But she still had to finish what she was doing. Then she'd move. "We have. And we wouldn't have to have it again, if you'd just tell me and not make me remind you that when you dodge the little things it's really suspicious and just makes me worry more that something's going on or I've missed something major." She took the bandages she'd picked and started to put them in place. "You could save us both trouble and skip to the telling me part." she suggested.

"Okay, fine, whatever," Dean told her, his thumb curling round to absently stroke her hand once before he realised with a jolt that he'd done that and didn't do it again. Damnit, but she'd been distracting. With the blowing and the... No, there wasn't anything else. At all. It had just been that and he needed to get his mind on track. "Some guy called Chance decided that he was going to try and piss me off. And he succeeded. He'd been going on about your death, being a real wanker. I still think he got off lightly."

Part of her noticed the little touch he'd given her, and the paranoia had begun to kick in when it was abruptly derailed. She sat up straighter as he spoke, and blinked at him. "Chance...I know him, he was at the bonfire when it got raided by demonic cats." she said, frown forming on her face. "And he what? Run that again. He was...trying to piss you off, and going on about my death?" That sounded...amazingly fucked up, if it was what it sounded like. She was kind of hoping it wasn't, because that was really low. Like...so low she was having a little trouble grasping the idea properly.

"He was trying to piss me off, wind me up. And his chosen subject for doing that was you." Which was about as effective as it got, really. "Apparently you're not the only one around who can see negative energy. As least, I guess that's what he was blathering on about, about dark swirls and me being surrounded by them. I dunno - I was too busy trying to break his face at the time. Anyway, he wouldn't fight back, told me to calm down-" Dean laughed a little. "-yeah, right. Least he knew he was being a total wanker. Bastard."

So that was exactly what it had sounded like. Which had her wondering what the fuck was wrong with people. No, seriously. What was wrong with people? She opened her mouth then shut it again, then frowned and started talking anyways. "That's fucked up." she said first. "That was really low. God, that's...what an asshole." she stressed, highly offended on Dean's behalf. "And he can see--that's so not an excuse!" she said hotly, getting apparently more worked up about it the more she thought about it. "What a dick!" Her mind was still chugging along on it. "And calm down? That's what he said? What, he deliberately pokes you where it's going to hurt the most, and--yeah okay, you're completely off the hook for fighting." she decided. In fact, if she ever saw the guy again, she couldn't promise she wouldn't smack him. Dean was apparently not the only one who could be overprotective. She also didn't notice it, but she was feeling better. Not fully, but a little at a time.

"Yeah, I hit him and his reaction is all 'calm the fuck down mate, I was only doing it because of the big swirly cloud things' - as if that was a good fucking reason or something," Dean told her, getting worked up again, just thinking about it. "And like that wasn't going to just piss me off even more. Wanker."

"What?" Lullaby asked. "He actually said that to you?" she cried. "That's justification? Like...god, he was just fucking with you. And because you happen to have something different, and--Okay I'm just brainmelting here. I do not in any way get that. What the fuck is the matter with people?" she asked, shaking her head. "Honestly? Come on, what the hell was he playing at? Just...purposely making you upset, and with that subject? Then blatantly telling you he was fucking with you and---yeah. Total screaming failure on all grounds. There is nothing but messed up in that entire scenario. And if I ever see him again, he's getting slapped, because he shouldn't have done that to you. That was really, fantastically messed up."

"Yes, he actually said that to me," Dean confirmed, calming down a little now - mostly off the back of her comment that she's slap him, which he found incredibly amusing, like being attacked by a kitten and probably as effective. He just couldn't see Thia as the violent type.

"Well then he's even more of a huge asshole than his reputation says." Lullaby said firmly. "I'd kind of thought maybe it was bullshit, but clearly, it wasn't. So...yeah. Ass." she said, huffing a bit about it. She realized in a really belated fashion that she was still holding onto his hand in both of hers. She sort of glanced down, almost going to panic about it, but then she noticed that he had that kind of amused glint in his eyes. So she stopped the panic train again and eyed him. "What?" she asked.

"Sorry, just... I had this mental image for a minute," he told her, the corners of his mouth twitching. "You do know I probably already gave him a black eye, right? And, just... Yeah." No, he couldn't think of a good way to put that.

"So it would be really pointless, and anyways you don't really need a girl defending you?" Lullaby put in there for him, and she made a cute face at him, sticking her tongue out for good measure. "Well, too bad. And good you gave him a black eye, but that doesn't fix the principal of the matter, and someone messed with you. That's not okay in me-land." she informed him matter o factly. "So, mental imagery aside of someone like me smacking someone like him...I don't know. But it'd happen."

"You'd get all defensive of me?" Dean asked her, not knowing whether to be amused, puzzled or impressed by that. It was strange, he was used to his mates being willing to stand up for him, and vice versa, but they generally weren't cute petite girls either and he couldn't deny that there was something of a little buzz in hearing her say that, even with all the rest thrown in.

He got a flat Look for that. "Um...yes." she said, as if he really should have known this already. "You're my best friend. No one gets to mess with you. That's just not allowed. And I don't care if they're assholes with bad reps or anything, they're still not allowed to mess with you. There's no part of that that's okay with me." she finished firmly. "Is this surprising you for some reason?" she asked.

"I - guess not," Dean told her, thinking about that. It had, he knew, and it was everything to do with her being a little girl. So, he figured that in a minute he'd be called sexist or something. But, well, she was so little. And cute. And, yeah - it'd be like being attacked by a kitten. Though, now that he was thinking about it, kittens did tend towards being vicious. They just didn't do much damage.

"Tell me this isn't playing back into the puppy thing." Lullaby said, though she sounded a touch amused. "I'm too innocent to go all rawr protective on you?" she asked. She tsked and shook her head, then finally got back around to finishing bandaging his hand. That only took forever. That was when she noticed she wasn't feeling so awful anymore. Still definitely off, physically, but she felt mentally better, and she wasn't nearly as about-to-fall-over feeling as before. She wondered how that hat worked, since clearly something had changed.

Dean's mouth twitched again. "Might have been playing back into the puppy thing," he admitted, figuring that if she was going to call him on it, then she'd call him on it. At least he'd be being honest - plus, the amusement in her tone helped. "You're just... It'd be like beng attacked by a kitten, that's all," he told her.

Lullaby gasped, jaw dropping, like she was terribly aghast--only it was put on, and that was obvious. "Attacked by a kitten?" she asked. "Really? I'm that intimidating? I would have better luck snuggling enemies to death or the like?" she continued. "...is this because I'm short, or because you can't imagine me pissed off enough to hit someone?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at him, though again, she had real trouble keeping the smile off of her face.

"It's because you're short," Dean told her. Though it was also because she was cute as well, but she couldn't drag an admission of her cuteness from him. "And, hey, kittens can be vicious - they just don't generally inflict much damage."

"Well, martial artists everywhere are short and yet still manage to beat people up." Lullaby said. This was of course, completely ignoring the fact that she did not in fact, know any martial arts. She finished off the bandage on his hand, and patted it with hers. "All better." she told him. She gave him a soft little smile at that, then put the kit back down on the floor. She eyed the water, then picked it up and actually took a sip, sort of experimentally. "And yes, kittens can be vicious. Plus, you never see them coming. I'd be all stealth girl, because I look about as intimidating as Hennabean."

"Oh, is this where I find out that you're a black belt ninja or something?" Dean asked, checking over the bandages. "Actually - are you? Can you do anything like that? Did you ever learn? Or play sports or, I dunno, horse ride or whatever?" he asked, leaning back, side on on the couch, bringing a knee up and looking at her.

She looked at him, and damn near pushed him over and snuggled with him. Which was a spectacularly bad idea. Wasn't she supposed to be the one who was laying down? Either way, she got comfortable too, though did it in a kind of upside downish manner. Which meant she flopped onto the cushion she'd been occupying, feet propped up over the arm and back of the couch as she turned her eyes on him. "No I'm pretty much as useless as you figure I am." she said in a teasing tone. "I don't ride horses, I never learned to be a ninja, and sports are something that people do when they can hear cues from team members. I guess I could have done individual stuff, but it never quite drew me in. I like to swim, I guess I'd be considered good at that. I was never on the team though or anything. I just spent a lot of time in the lake when I was younger. Y'know, enough to say I've been swimming when there's still ice chunks floating in it and you're in for about .2 seconds before you're blue."

"You swim with ice chunks? That's... Wow, I remember going up to the Lake District in February a couple of years back and we went swimming in a plunge pool. Or, well, I say 'swimming' what it was actually was that we were all daring each other to have a go and I jumped in from the top of the fall - if you could call it that, it was only about five foot or something - into the pool. I think I nearly died of shock, I know I felt like I'd forgotten how to breathe and I've never got out of anywhere so fast in my entire life."

"What the hell is a 'plunge' pool?" Lullaby asked, confused. "But yeah. Swimming with ice chunks. You live here, you get used to the cold, sweetheart. That is your fate. Pretty soon you won't even hesitate to go jumping into the lake. Actually have you been swimming in it yet? It's slightly warmer than usual. You might be able to survive a whole ten minutes in the water before losing feeling in your extremities." Then she paused as she was picturing him taking a dive. "You know..." she said thoughtfully. "There's black rocks on the island. If you really want to do some daring leaping and swimming...that's where to do it. It's this kinda cliffy thing that you jump from down into a cove? It's beautiful. And y'know. Terrifying. That's bigger than five feet though. That's like...god, I have no idea. Far."

"A plunge pool - you know, the pool that forms at the bottom of a waterfall," Dean told her, surprised that she didn't know that and wondering if it was an English-ism. "But no, actually, I haven't been swimming in the lake. I meant to, when I first got here, when I realised how near it was and everything, but then I never seemed to get round to it," he admitted. It had been one of the things he'd wanted to do, in the days when all he seemed to do was sit in his room and mope, or try and work out the time difference so he could speak to his friends, when he'd thought that he'd never fit in here and would never be happy here. When even though he had an insane amount of free time and nothing to do, he was so pissy about everything that filling that time with doing things he'd like to do felt like a betrayal of his pissiness with the world. That phase hadn't lasted very long, but ever since it'd been over, he'd just not had the time for things. "The cliff sounds cool though - have you ever done it?" he asked her.

"Sorry. I live here, and haven't really been anywhere else. And while we've got like...a million billion lakes, we don't have many waterfalls, and the ones we have are like...bitty waterfalls. Like you know those cheesy scenes in movies where people make out under waterfalls, and really it's just like this slightly more than a trickle thing going on so it doesn't mess up people's hair? That's our waterfalls. Only if anyone tried that they'd be frozen in two seconds and it wouldn't be even remotely arousing. It'd just be cold and then there'd need to be electric blankets and stuff." When he asked about her jumping, she grinned at him. "I do every year." she said. "And I scare the hell out of myself every time, but it was tradition, with Journey and I. We used to pick a day and we'd go, and we'd both have to jump at least once by the end of the day. It was great." she said. "You know if you haven't been swimming at all, we could be all delinquent like and sneak out there some night. We'd have to walk because the island closes at night, but it's not like you can't just walk around the gate across the road."

"Somehow I think electric blankets and waterfalls wouldn't be a good mix," Dean said, nodding sagely. "We have waterfalls, they're just generally not very big ones. Mostly they're itty bitty fast flowing streams going at full tilt down the side of a hill, usually with the compulsory dead sheep half way up, just to make you regret that drink from the otherwise crystal clear water you'd taken further back down on your walk. And you'd jump off the cliff in the night?" he asked, a little surprised at that, though it sounded really very cool and a lot of fun - he'd definitely be up for it.

"Wait, dead sheep?" Lullaby asked, arching an eyebrow. "And it's compulsory? Like, there are dead sheep hanging around all willy nilly in England?" That thought made her laugh a little, and again she was struck with the fact that she was feeling better. The longer she hung out with Dean, the better she was feeling. So that was a plus. Of course she might give him shit later for having completely given up on trying to find what was wrong with her in the book. "And yes, I'd jump off the cliff at night." she confirmed. "And probably scream on the way down? But I'd do it. Then promptly have a heart attack, but hey, it's doable. Plus it'd be fun. And it would get you swimming." She gave him a decidedly evil grin. "If you're too scared to jump, you can just wade in from the rock beach."

"Yes, dead sheep and actually you'd probably be right about the willy nilly thing. We have lots of sheep, especially up on the hills. They're really the only thing that can survive up there. The land's no good for farming and it's too, well, hilly for cows, so they shove sheep up there and just leave them to mostly wander around. Half of them get out onto the roads and sometimes get hit by cars and wander off to die, or they'll fall down gullies and break something, or get stuck - not too smart, your average sheep. And hell no, I'm not scared!" he complained, pulling a face and reaching out to poke her for even suggesting it.

"So just...dead sheep, hangin out. That's...really intensely weird. Though I guess maybe not. I mean, we have deer wandering around everywhere here, along with every other animal known to man. Wolves, coyotes, raccoons as big as bears...actual bears..." she rattled off. She laughed at the poke, and she went to go grab his hand, but two things stopped her. One, it was his injured one, and two, she shouldn't be doing that anyways. Then she grinned at him again, that same evilish looking one. "Well, you were the one who decided to ask if I would, I just assumed maybe it was a bit much for you, and y'know, you said before that you'd got out of the water really fast..." she trailed off, teasing pretty mercilessly.

He gave her a Look for that. "That's because it was fucking freezing, not because I was scared to make the jump in the first place - which, may I add, a lot of my friends refused to do," he pointed out, but he knew she was teasing him on purpose, so he wasn't overly defensive about it. "And the 'dead sheep' aren't so much hanging out as 'slowly decomposing', which is what makes you learn really damn fast that you shouldn't drink from a stream lower down on the hills - bad plan. We don't have wolves and bears and things - which is probably why they just let sheep roam all over the place. Come to think of it, we don't really have much of anything scary-like. Nothing that could kill or maim or anything. Nothing really very poisonous either. Or diseased. It's all very safe."

"So you're very brave. Sorry for thinking for a second you might not be." Lullaby said, batting her eyes at him and laying it on thick for a second, before she broke and giggled again. "And really? Nothing at all like that? Seems...weird. Here, you can't throw a rock without hitting a living thing, and a lot of them are predators of some nature. Though we do miss out on poisonous stuff, I have to say. Too cold. So we don't have the really huge nasty bugs that could like...run off with a limb if you aren't careful, or anything that bites you and you fall over in ten minutes all deadified. It's a trade off."

"Oh, we have lots of living things - just generally small living things. I think our biggest predator is probably like a fox or something. And we have lots of deer, but they're generally in deer parks on private estates. but, nope - small island that's been cultivated for hundreds and hundreds of years, generally means that those shepherds? Killed off all the wolves and bears and everything years ago," he shrugged, though a thought was beginning to creep into the back of his mind that was making him feel a little uneasy about all of that.

"I guess here it's all still just...mostly wild." Lullaby commented thoughtfully. "I mean, we're heavily forested, the whole U.P. is. We've got a ton of natural lakes, streams, rivers, you name it. I heard somewhere that you're never farther than like...five minutes away from water in the U.P. Which I buy, I mean, we're just covered with lakes. Plus, the big one. But yeah. We're small communities with mines and other little things, but people have mostly left the woods alone. So, we've got stuff living in them. I guess I always just kind of thought it was neat. Natural and all that, like I think a city might make me a little twitchy." Then she made a smirkyface. "Not that I'd know, I haven't been to many, and not for very long."

"Well, apparently you guys think that this is a city - which just endlessly amuses me," Dean teased. "Cos this? Is a small town, really. Which I know you know, but I thought it worth saying again. But no, we don't have anything like that. Which..." He paused, frowning a little, looking vaguely uncomfortable. "I wonder what happened to the werewolves," he said, eventually, thinking of Oz.

"Yes, I'm aware!" Lullaby said, laughing. "In fact, we're so cool, we have the only escalator in the U.P. at the medical center. It's crazyness. Actually, I'm now wondering how many floors the tallest building in town is. Probably not more than like...nine or ten." she mused. Then she stopped and sobered a bit, looking at him. "What happened to the werewolves?" she asked. "Like...werewolves around here? You mean when everything happened?"

"No, no - I mean, back home," Dean told her, still lightly frowning. "I mean, you'd think that there'd be some everywhere, right? At least - maybe not, but you'd think. And round here, they kinda fit in, because people are used to seeing wolves. Like Oz can wander around and people are all 'oh look, a wolf' and yeah some might get a bit freaked out about seeing a wolf, but it's not all 'holy SHIT! It's a fucking wolf, call the police' about it like they would be back home. That'd be major panic stations where I grew up. A wolf escapes from a zoo and the whole country knows about it - it makes the evening news. So, does that mean that werewolves don't exist over there? Or that they're just really careful. Or were they just all hunted down and killed a few hundred years ago? And I'm thinking that's what it was - that they were hunted down. And that... I don't like that idea," he admitted, understating that.

Lullaby frowned lightly too, thinking about that. She also wondered if Dean was not liking the idea because of Oz, or if it was just in his personality to not like the persecution of a species. She had to admit it made her feel really uncomfortable, and pretty sad to think about it like that. "Well...I'm sure some were hunted, or they got good at hiding things." she said. "I mean, it's not like it's common knowledge, so werewolves all over the place hide it all the time. Even around here. Or, they could have migrated, too. I mean, environmentally speaking, England's pretty small, right? So, they probably branched out to different areas, when the landscape changed. If they couldn't get to go out and run and not cause a fuss, I'm sure they would have gone someplace else. That's just nature, if the place you're living doesn't work for you, you go someplace else. So I'm sure if the environment in England became hostile, they left to find someplace friendlier for them." Or, that was her optimistic theory and she was sticking to it. "What makes you say that you think they were hunted though?"

"Yeah, I guess," he said, but it still left him with an uneasy feeling in his stomach. Like he'd just realised something he would have really rather not. He'd not given the idea of hunters that much thought before. He'd always had an awareness that letting on that he could do things other people couldn't was a bad idea, but the actual idea of people who would hunt down and kill beings was something else and whilst the more he thought about it, the more he realised he'd always known deep inside that there were people like that out there, that there had to be, he knew he'd never actively thought about it in so many words before. "What makes me think they were hunted? I guess the stories, all the folk law and legends - it all points that way, only before I didn't know those things actually existed. I just... I could believe that some of them left but... England wasn't such a nice place during, like, the medieval times. Everyone killing everyone else was pretty much a way of life and with the feudal system and all, movement around the country was pretty much non-existent. Would have made it hard for them to just up and leave," he explained.

Lullaby watched as the normal wisps around him started to get a little more animated. Longer, drifting higher. She didn't say anything as he thought it over, quite clearly grinding it around in his head. She was patient, so she was good with waiting for him to organize his thoughts. She half shifted, a little more towards him, curling on her side to face him better. "I read on the witch trials before. There were some pretty gruesome stories in that." she said. Research papers. She liked to pick topics she had some interest in. "Think those were...more geared towards things like...well, people like us?" she asked. "I mean, I get the rampant paranoia, and the innocent people that were accused and murdered, but what if it did have a basis in some form of reality? People being afraid of others who could do things they couldn't, things they didn't understand and didn't try to." She paused as she let more of that sink in. "If it would have been hard for them to leave, then...yeah, actually. I guess I would back up your idea about them all being hunted down. Because especially back then, things couldn't be kept as quiet. Like...now, Oz can put in a cage in his basement, and no one's going to know about that. The neighbors don't, stuff like that...but back then? Kinda harder to accomplish. And so would turning into something else on the full moon, even if you didn't need a cage or anything." She bit at her lower lip, frowning lightly. "Sounds sad." she said finally. "I don't like the idea either." It made her think about her dad, and the fact that she felt like she was stuck in his shadow, and she was waiting for the axe to fall. That gave way to remembering her internal fear that people were going to find her and take her away. Maybe they'd find her and just find a way to keep her dead. And what about Oz? He couldn't completely suppress his nature either. Dean had accidents with his abilities...well wasn't this disconcerting?

He watched as she thought through what she'd said, nodding as he saw her come to some of the same conclusions he had. "There was a lot of that kind of thing going on. Lots of things that could be other stuff, or, well, I doubt it would have been that hard just to make people disappear, would it? Maybe that's the reason that you get places like Marquette, where there seems to be more supernatural activity than other places in the world. Like you said - there's nothing really here. Pockets of isolated communities, lots of space - people who are different could just either blend in, or they could just flat out exist without anybody knowing."

"That makes a lot of sense." Lullaby agreed. "Here, it would be a lot easier for people to get along and not have to make anything strange about them known. And no one thinks twice if people live a little outside of town either, further into the woods. Like it never struck me as strange you live out here. And now I know that it's y'know...for different reasons than you guys wanted a bigger yard. But yeah. Here especially, there's a lot more leeway room and stuff. People are also generally friendly, so they aren't automatically suspicious of anything anyone's doing. I guess in the long run, we'd be a community that's almost built for people to be able to exist with weirdness and not get a lot of shit for it."

"It'd explain some things, wouldn't it?" Dean agreed. "And Oz would never live in town - I heard Sophie say that once. But even if she hadn't, I couldn't see him... He just doesn't seem the type. He likes to go off wandering, I've watched him leave and not come back for hours. He couldn't do that in town."

"Yeah." Lullaby said. She was letting her mind drift to her own situation. Where here she could go outside and walk down by the lake and not have to worry about being spotted. A little different, perhaps, but the same principal. "So...guess it just would make logical sense that here would be a good draw in for people who had something to hide. Which is...kind of disturbing for me, honestly. I'm from here. People are really nice. Friendly, open, helpful. It's a good community. So...it's weird for me to think that there might be a whole lot of people here, maybe more so than other places, that are all just...hiding." There was a light frown on her features as she said it, as her mind milled it all over.

"Hey!" Dean admonished a little, but with no bite. "I can be friendly and helpful too. you know. Just cos I'm in from outside doesn't make me a problem. But, then again, maybe that's what makes this the community it is - if there's a large proportion of the people who are here because they're not accepted elsewhere then maybe that makes them more accepting of other people."

"Could be. And I never said anything about you." Lullaby said, giving a little half smile, and she reached out to poke him on the stomach. "Brat." she threw in there for good measure. "You are very very helpful. And you're very friendly. To me, anyhow, I'm getting a slightly different view of you from others, but y'know, from my experience you're just absolutely wonderful. A little angel even." she continued, of course laying it on thick. "I mean, I don't have any idea what I would be doing with my life now if it weren't for you. There would be this barren void where friendly helpfulness was not provided on a daily basis, and it would be a desolate, horrible universe for me." Which after she said it, she realized rubbed right up alongside the truth, and she sort of wished she could take it back.

"Oh hush up," Dean told her, half laughing and half just brushing it off, knowing she was having a laugh anyway. "How you feeling now?" he asked her, changing the subject as he so often did when they even half approached her complimenting him in any way.

She paused, and thought about it. "My head still hurts a little bit, and I still feel a little achey, but I feel a lot better than I did when I was outside, and earlier." she said. "No thanks to you, you gave up looking for some magical remedy and or cause ages ago." she added with a cute little look at him and she stuck her tongue out at him. "But apparently I didn't need it anyways, cuz...yeah. I do feel better." She looked thoughtful as she milled things over. "Wonder if it was because we were both a little mad earlier." she mused. "Since we know already that kind of energy makes me feel better in general."

"Maybe," Dean said, realising that he had, in fact, abandoned the book earlier and reaching down to pick it up again, going back to flipping through, looking, feeling bad about that. Just because she was feeling better didn't mean that it wasn't something they had to be worried about and he'd let himself become distracted. He glanced over at her, then back to the book as he looked. "I was talking to Maddie earlier and she suggested that if you feel better around negative energy that maybe being somewhere where there is none is bad for you. Can't think there's much negative energy down at the beach. And then I came around and, well, I'm just like a walking energy source for you, aren't I?" he pointed out.

Lullaby eyed him. "I was kidding, Dean." she said first. "I'm positive if I hadn't started feeling better and joking around with you and threatening Chance and everything, you would have continued looking. Plus, I interrupted you anyways by insisting on fixing your hand." she pointed out. Then she thought about what he said. "I dunno, there's been a lot of ships wrecked in the lake. And people die in it every year. I guess I didn't notice one way or the other whether it felt different. I just know that I'd been down there, and wasn't feeling good, then didn't want to come in because I really like being able to go outside. So...y'know. Stubborn and everything. I should probably have come in earlier. Maybe I need a recharge or something...go take a walk and see about some places...go back to the orphanage or something." she said. "Maybe I'll go for a walk tonight." Then she made a face at him that was not as a matter of fact, her cute face. "I know you're a source of energy for me, but I really hate putting it like that, or hearing you do it. You're not...you're not a battery, okay?"

He stopped reading and looked up as she spoke, watching her face. "Yes, I am - a battery. That's okay, you know. I don't mind, in fact it's pretty bloody useful, really, all things considered. So you don't need to be all like that about it - it's a good thing," he told her.

She still didn't look happy. "Well, I find it kind of insulting for you. And completely downplaying of what you actually mean to me. And just...I don't like it. It makes it sound like that's it. Like you're just...energy for me or something, and that's not the case. You're not a recharger, some inanimate object that I keep around because you make me feel better in some mystical, crazy way." She didn't think he'd actually argue this with her, because hey. Look. They were getting towards a subject that was about him, and he always dodged those. In fact...she was pretty sure he'd done it like a minute and a half ago.

Dean frowned. "Is that how you look at it?" he asked her, seeming rather perturbed. "See, I don't - I look at it as like a bonus. The fact that I'm this useful, handy energy source for you doesn't take away from our friendship, or what, what we mean to each other. It's just a nifty added extra. I never even considered that I'd be thought of as a recharger to be picked up and put down, or that there's a 'just' about this at all. It's not like we've only been friends since we realised what this meant. It's not like you just picked me up after that. I don't think it downplays anything and I didn't mean it in that way at all. I never even considered that you'd think I meant that and I'm - actually, I'm a little offended that maybe you did think I meant that. Did you think I meant it like that?" he asked her.

"I said it makes it sound that way, and I don't like that." Lullaby clarified. "I didn't say you thought it. Though honestly...Dean, since we're on the subject, you do have this huge tendency to discount...like everything you ever do. It's like you make a career out of it." she said, though it was gentler than it could have been. She curled up a little further on her cushion on the couch, bringing her arms up to pillow her head better. "But in this case, no, I just object to the wording."

"I know - you've pointed that out before. I seem to remember having an... talking about it long and hard the other day. But this isn't that - this is you saying that you object to something that's true. You need negative energy, you use it as an energy source. I attract negative energy, I'm always surrounded by it, I have a bottomless well of the stuff. I am, therefore, an energy source for you. And you used the term battery, not me. Though I don't see what's so wrong with that either. And I don't see why me being able to be that for you has any effect on our friendship, or should do. I don't find it insulting at all. Look at it the other way. If I actually wanted to be better with my abilities, would you find it insulting that you were able to help me out with that?" he posed, unconsciously mirroring her position.

She did think about it, ticking her eyes between his. "No." she answered. "I still don't like references to you as an object." she said. "And it doesn't have an effect on our friendship. What I was saying was putting it like that seemed to cut that out, and just..." she drew in a deep breath, and let it out slowly in a sigh, letting her eyes fall shut for a few moments. "It just bugged me. I'm done now." she said finally, dropping it. Or trying to drop it. She wasn't sure if he'd let her or not.

He wasn't quite done yet and he didn't. "But... people cut out bits of themselves all the time. It was just what we were talking about at the time. I just don't... I don't see what the problem is. This is something I can do, Thia. It's something positive I can do - I can help you. Just with what I am," he told her, really failing to see what her issue with this was, but it was more than that - since he'd really thought about it, he liked the fact that he could do that, that he could maybe help her a little. Before, when he'd been talking to Maddie, the idea that even if Maddie cleaned out the house, if he were around, they wouldn't have to worry about Thia having any problems. And just now when there was a possibility he'd maybe helped her feel better it was the same. It wasn't much, but it was positive. It was the first time where his abilities, where what he was had worked in a way that wasn't purely destructive, even if he hadn't actually actively done anything.

There were a few things that went through her head then, and she didn't say any of them. She didn't think they were especially helpful of her, and she was feeling off today for the most part already. She knew she'd been crankier than usual and had come out of it, but she was feeling it coming on again. She wondered if it was directly to do with her not feeling quite well enough, or if she was just having a bad day. It was possible. Maybe she was still dealing with things, or not dealing as it were. The bottomed out feeling she'd gotten earlier when he'd been talking to her about the price tag on a new identity hadn't completely ebbed, it was in the back of her mind, sort of lying in wait for her to look round that way again. Which she wasn't right now but that didn't mean she couldn't feel it there. "I don't want those cuts part out. And anyways, that's not really the point." she said as she opened her eyes again, not wanting him to have to talk too loud, because she was feeling like curling up and staying that way for a while. And getting closer so she could do that? Was so far out of the question it wasn't even funny. She took another few moments to organize her thoughts. "I don't have a problem with the result." she said. "I don't have a problem with you making me feel better. I like that too, it's not a bad thing, I don't think. It doesn't hurt you at all, as far as I can tell, because you just...it's there. It's not going anywhere. I've actively tried to get rid of it around you and yeah that so didn't happen. I just don't like the way it was put. Just...ignore me or something." she said, reaching up to tug her fingers through her hair a moment, then she shifted, so she could find the cloth he'd gotten her earlier, and she put it back on the back of her neck. It was warmer now, but it was cooler than the air temperature.

Dean frowned, still watching her. "No, Thia, I won't ignore you. I just don't see the problem with calling something what it is. I'm a walking, talking energy source for you. All wrapped up in the handy best friend package. That's not a bad thing and, for the record, I never have and I never will think that you're only keeping me around for that fact. But I don't see why we can't talk about that part of me without having to lump on 'and I'm also your best friend' to it. That just makes for really unweildy conversations. I don't have any problems with calling myself a battery, you don't have any problems with what that means, so at the end of the day, it's just a word. That's all. I have no plans to go painting myself black and yellow and having 'Duracell' tattoo on my side, so don't worry," he told her, trying for slightly lighter at the end there.

Lullaby squeezed her eyes shut again and buried her face down against the couch, her arm going up to curl around her face and half over the back of her head, fingers resting on the back of her neck. "I yield, Dean." she said, voice muffled. "I give. You win. I'm being unreasonable. Anything you want, can we just drop it now?" she asked. "Please?" It still bugged her on a fundamental level, but it was pretty obvious that he didn't understand that, and it wasn't worth it to her to keep arguing the point when it was so clear he didn't. She'd just twitch a little when it was brought up like that, and she was pretty sure she could get used to sort of not showing that. Or, that was her current theory and she was sticking to it.

Dean stopped, still frowning, wondering at the way she was hiding and not liking it at all. He wondered if he'd pushed things too far. Probably, he decided, always willing to believe the worst about himself. He shuffled forward on the couch until he was within easy reach of her, before placing a hand on her back. "Course - consider it dropped," he told her, just loud enough for her to hear.

She wasn't sure how she felt about that. She liked his being closer, but she'd been making sure she wasn't doing that herself. But she was also aware that she was probably acting off, probably about as off as she felt. "I'm sorry." she said, feeling really, really bad about it all at once. "I'm not...right today, I think. I feel kind of all over the place, and things are kind of overwhelming to me today. I don't mean to be taking it out on you." she apologized sincerely, peeking out from under her arm at him. She was thinking she should probably go upstairs or something and not be around him. Or anyone else for that matter.

"That's okay, I'm a big boy, I'll be just fine," he reassured her with a ghostly hint of a smile, encouraging her towards him a little. He knew his friend and knew that this was way passed the time that she'd be needing a hug, or she would have given him one, or something. Which meant she was holding back, and he wasn't a fan of that for a number of reasons. So, he'd be encouraging and if that didn't work, he'd just have to make the first move. Stubborn girl that she was at times.

She was a stubborn girl, and she knew what he was doing there, but didn't really move. "Yeah, you're a big boy." she agreed, giving him the hint of a smile in return, though it wasn't nearly up to what she usually gave him. "But still. You shouldn't have to deal with me being all weird and crazy. Y'know, I'd really think that I wouldn't have pms anymore, considering. But that's almost what this seems like." she said, rolling her eyes at herself. Then she paused, biting at her lower lip a little. "I think things lately are throwing me, though. Maybe I'm starting to deal with things I haven't yet, I don't know. I can't tell. Today everything feels like...like a lot." she attempted to explain, but she didn't know how well she did on that.

"Oh for fuck's sake, c'm'ere," he muttered, giving up on the encouragement and just pulling her over and wrapping her in his arms. "And stop it with the martyr crap as well. If you're having a bad day, you're having a bad day and I want to know about it. Even if it means that I'd dealing with you being all weird and crazy." He paused and pulled back a little to look at her. "Have I been landing you with too much today?" he asked, wondering if this was partly his fault, if he shouldn't have chosen his time better.

She was moved. Which really wasn't a difficult thing for anyone to do, she wasn't that big a person, and she hadn't necessarily been expecting it either. Once she was where she was, she considered for about half a minute just getting up and going to sit somewhere that wasn't the couch, but figured that would cause a fight. Or...something. And, there was that other part of her that didn't want to move, she wanted to stay there. Therefore, she didn't actually try to get away. Yet. "I'm not trying to be a martyr, I'm just aware that I'm being all weird today and know that's probably not the easiest thing to deal with." she said, in an attempt to explain herself on that score. "And no...you haven't, I promise, it's not you." she added, and that she really was sincere with, and she looked slightly distressed that he'd think it was because of him. "It's not that or anything to do with that. I'm...kind of fuzzy on the real reasons, like I know things are bothering me and that some things are feeling far to big to deal with right now, but it's not because of you. I promise."

"Okay, good, not me - I was just... I keep giving you all these things extra to think about and I don't want it to be too much. And before you say anything I know we've gone over this before and no, I don't think that you're breakable, or that you can't handle things or anything like that, I just don't want you to become overloaded either," he said, disclaimering himself as he talked. "But, okay, things are bothering you - so you got me, if you want to talk about them. And I promise not to give you shit about acting weird either."

She had opened her mouth to say something, but then he hit her up with the disclaimer, so she didn't, she shut it again and listened to what else he had to say. "Actually you hadn't given me shit about it in the first place, I'm giving me shit about it." she said. Then she drew in a deep breath, let it out in a rush, and tried to find a starting point. She almost reached to find the cross she'd given him again, to give herself something to toy with, but she didn't at the last second, reminding herself about how that wasn't okay and all. She never really realized just how often she did things that she needed to curb. It was kind of eye opening in a bad sort of way. "I don't know where to start, so I guess I'll start on what's looming like a chasm of doom in the back of my mind." she said. "The identity stuff. The money. I guess, looking at it right now, it just feels like it's never going to happen. Or if it did, that I'd never get far enough to pay anyone back for anything. Everything seems really, really far away."

Dean noted that she started to reach or something and then stopped and he inwardly sighed, but to draw attention to that would mean derailing her as she talked and he wasn't going to do that, so he let it go, leaning back against the couch, one arm still loosely around her waist with no obvious suggestion of any intent to let go. "Too much to handle on your own?" he suggested. "Kinda overwhelming, all this stuff?"

"Kind of." Lullaby admitted, and she looked like she truly hated having to own up to that. "I feel like it's all just...way too much. It's like I have time to actually look at everything now. And I'm in a different environment? I'm not alone in a house anymore, and it's almost..." she paused, looking a little unsure of herself for a moment, but then went on because she wasn't very good at lying to Dean in the first place, and didn't figure she'd start getting good right this second. So he'd ask. She might as well get it over with and say what she meant. "It's kinda almost like having a family around again. So...it's different. And it's reminding me a lot of what I lost. Everyone's been really great, and I really appreciate everything...I don't think I've met people as giving as you lot are. But I miss my parents. I miss my other friends. And I've got this whole life that's stretching out in front of me and sometimes I look at it and just...can't deal with it." Because I know after a certain point I'm going to be there alone. Because all of you are going to grow older, and you're going to die, and I'm going to be by myself. Because I won't. And it doesn't seem worth it. In fact, I know it's not. Her voice died out before she could get to the rest of that though. She couldn't quite put it into words for him, couldn't say it out loud, because that made something true. Which was childish and very kindergarten of her, but she didn't care.

Dean thought about this, though what she was saying was hardly a surprise. "I went to a meeting thing today," he said, eventually. "Charlotte? Our age, long mousey hair? Anyway, I think that's her name - she organised it. Quite a few people were there, mostly people I recognised from the mine, but a few new faces as well - sorry, I'm really shit with names. But she wanted to talk about organising ourselves, in case something like the vampires happens again. And there wasn't any question that the people who were there didn't know about the weird in the world. There was open discussion of magic and vampires and demons and stuff. And I know how you feel and I'm not going to pressure you or anything, but... If you wanted me to put out feelers about certain people ever or anything. I can be subtle if it comes to it," he offered, skirting round the edge of what he was actually saying.

"Maybe." Lullaby said, looking unsure again. There was a pinch of fear in the back of that. Not only because she was still afraid of what would happen to her if she got taken away by people she couldn't get away from. But...there was that shiny hunter angle they'd been discussing earlier. There was the fear that people wouldn't accept her, what with her being the walking dead and all. But she was also afraid of what would happen to people if they did get close, what with the potential problem of her father. In the back of her mind, the idea of leaving rose up again. Just...taking off, making it not anyone's problem anymore but hers. She curled up a little further, and forgot about her idea of staying clear of Dean. She got closer, resting her forehead in against his collarbone.

It felt only natural to shift very slightly as she leaned into her so that he was holding her properly again, if loosely, but he made himself rest his head back against the couch, rather than dropping it to rest on top of hers so that he could feel her hair against his cheek. It was the little things. "Maybe," he agreed. "Just say the word - and that doesn't have to be soon, we can talk long term if you want. But you don't have to always be alone," he added. "For the rest of your life - you don't have to just hide away, that's all."

Lullaby felt tears welling. They didn't quite come forth yet, but they were burning at the backs of her eyes. God, hadn't she gotten over crying yet? Did she always have to do that? Felt like she did a lot. She hated it every time. She didn't say anything for what felt like forever, as she concentrated on small things. How often he was breathing. The light breeze from somewhere on her back where her shirt had ridden up a little. The little blanket of negative energy she was almost wrapped up in just from him. When she spoke, it didn't quite check in with her brain before it was out there, and her tone was quiet, tiny. "What if they're afraid of me?"

"What if they're not?" Dean asked her, though it was obviously a rhetorical question. "We'd be careful - I can, like, vet people, we can talk about it. Only tell people if we think they're ready. So far, there's been an amazing lack of freaked people, right? We have time - this doesn't need to be happening tomorrow. But you're starting to build your life again, right? That's all this is - brick by brick, taking time and making sure you have foundations and a safe structure and you're working to a plan so that you get what you want in the end and I'm starting to think this was a bad analogy. Or possibly an okay one but I explained it in a less than great way," he admitted.

"Dean, not everyone's--" she started, then stopped. Then went on, because she realized she didn't have a better way to say it. "Not everyone's you. You...you found me and you've just accepted everything with me. But...not everyone's like that, it's one thing to wish you had a friend back it's another to be faced with their walking corpse, and I just...don't know if I could face that. Seeing people I really cared about actually fearing me. And a lot of people I didn't...I didn't know that well, not like you. I hung out with Charlotte once maybe before the mine stuff, and she was even the one who suggested I stay home, and others..I don't know. I just...isn't it hard enough dealing with me being back? Wouldn't it be hard on them too, assuming they didn't run screaming and start looking up the nearest hunters? And what about everything else? Like with my dad? I'm having enough trouble thinking that I'm making you guys a target without adding more people into the mix and I just--" she broke off, and said exactly what all of this meant. "I'm scared."

He tightened his hold on her as she admitted that, actually properly hugging her rather than vaguely sitting with his arms around her. He wanted to tell her all sorts of things, all the things that he was fairly sure would be considered the 'right' things to say right now - if there was a right thing to say to someone in Thia's position. But, if there were such things and Dean could think of a few qualifiers, they all sounded trite and empty right now. Of course she was scared, of course this was hard, of course there were a thousand and one problems. And he wanted to fix them, all of them, he wanted to solve and simplify everything and make things perfect and easy for her. It was just his way - he couldn't see a problem without immediately looking for a solution, breaking it down, figuring it out. Except here, all there were were more problems and every time they talked, Dean felt like she was less and less ready to face them, so he couldn't just go off and start working on solutions. They weren't his problems to solve - they were hers and all he could do was to help where she'd let him and be there for her the rest of the way. Even if it did make him feel helpless and frustrated every time.

She hadn't expected him to say anything, and was actually kind of glad he didn't. The quiet was better right now, because...really. What was there to say? Nothing, really. She concentrated on breathing, in, out, slowly. Evenly. It helped, and she felt slightly less like she was going to cry, thankfully. She didn't know what else to say now. There was more, she knew. Some of it she was still working through, and she didn't know if she should even try saying anything considering she wasn't solid on her own thoughts in the first place, but he'd said he wanted to hear. "I feel like if I stay here, I'm going to wind up hurting people I care about, one way or another, and I feel like there's this huge, long life ahead of me that I don't even want if it's going to be the way I think it is. But I don't know how to look at it differently. I don't know how to think around all of this. Every time I try I get stuck. And I keep thinking about my dad. That's scaring me too. I feel like I have to find some way to face him, or get rid of him, or something, but I don't know where to start there either. For all I know, if I piss him off enough, he can just...shut me down. And what if he can? What if he does, and then like...twenty years from now he decides I've been grounded enough and he starts me back up again? Can he do that? I don't know but it seems possible, with as fucked up as this stuff is in the first place. I already know what it's like to close my eyes, and when I open them again, I've lost a day. How much more time can I lose in between?" She stopped herself talking again, because she could feel her throat closing up more, and she could feel her anxiety rising. She wanted to apologize, for laying this out on him and everything, but she figured he'd just tell her to shut up for that.

Dean took a moment, because his first thought was that this? Some of this? He could actually help with. But there was so much more in there as well. He didn't speak at first, but when he did, he actually surprised himself by saying something he hadn't actually anticipated at all. "I felt like that, the other day. When I found out where my powers were going. I felt like if that's where I was going, if I was going to start being a danger to people, I couldn't stay. And it was the most horrible feeling in the world. To be facing the fact that I might be hurting the people I love, just by being me and because of everything that came with me." He paused before continuing. "But, you're not me - and I know you'd never hurt me, or any of us. But, yes, I agree that your dad's a problem. That's why I went to see Maddie today. To start organising what we can do there. She says that she can do a sanctuary spell on this place, to make sure that nobody can get in, at all, without a specific invite. And she's going to do a location spell to find out where your dad is now, so at least we'll know. And we can keep an eye on that, and we'll come up with other things. I know that won't help with... We'll find out about the spell. We'll find out what's possible," he promised, torn between starting to look for that now and really not wanting to let her go and abandon her for the book.

She pulled back, just enough to look up at him. She didn't say anything for a long few moments, just watching his eyes. She hadn't thought about it like that, but she was willing to bet he did know almost exactly what she was going through. Feeling that way, about being a danger to the people that mattered most, and how that was in no way acceptable. "I'd never hurt you." she agreed, voice soft, a little distant. "But he would. Might. I still don't know how to...I don't really think I could live with myself if anything happened." Because she couldn't. It was so fully encompassing, so paralyzing a fear that she was...where she was. Dealing but not in huge, glaring ways.

"Same here," Dean told her. "So we prepare and we figure it out. We make sure that he can't get to you, whether he tries to go through us or not. Not by magic, not by force, not by turning up on your doorstep with a bushel of poisoned apples, nothing. And then, if he does turn up... Well, we'll deal with that then."

If he shows up, I'm not staying here. was the first thought that rang through loud and clear in Lullaby's mind. "I think we need to seriously talk about what happens if he shows, Dean." she said quietly. She gave him the ghost of a smile that didn't last. "And I'd make a really crappy Snow White." she added, because some part of her normal-Lullaby-brain had caught that bit and had to make some kind of commentary. It was what they did. Only now she was all over the place again, like someone had set off a landmine in her brain.

"That's okay, because I make a shit dwarf, so we're even," Dean shot right back. "And yes, we need to have a serious talk about what happens if he shows - I take it you want to go first?" he asked, prepared to deal with the subject and already anticipating her next declaration that she would be leaving.

Lullaby's mind was a little sharded. Well, moreso than just the normal 'hey I'm an emotional trainwreck' of it all. Because part of her couldn't let the dwarf comment slide. "Oh you would not be a dwarf in that story." she commented first. "And yes, I think if he shows, I have to not be here. I don't know where I should go, but just...not here. Because spells and everything are fine and that's good and I'm glad that it's getting done but will it really stop him? And I don't know about you but---no. I do know about you. I'm not on the same side. I don't think it's worth the risk."

Dean had to fight to catch up with her second comment, because her first threw him, and badly, though he managed not to show it - or he hoped he did, trying to keep his confusion and the whole Well, there's a fairly limited cast choice for guys in that story of it all to himself. He was a few beats too long before speaking though and, as he did, he loosened his hold on her, drawing back and turning to the book. Good cover for moving, that book. "If you go, he'll follow you, Thia," he told her as he shifted a little further away under the guise of seating himself in a better position for reading and talking at the same time. "If you leave here, you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of running. I don't think that's something worth starting. I don't think we have a whole lot of choices, but we can work with what we've got and we make it so that if he shows, we're prepared so that you don't have to run."

He moved, and with as aware as she was of the proximity thing, she took it as her cue to remember that she was meant to not be making him uncomfortable about things. Even if he'd been the one who pulled her over where she was now. So she moved, sitting up and retreating back to the side of the couch, leaning her back up against the arm and she half curled up with her head resting against the back. "I'd rather face a lifetime of running than one death brought on because of me." she said simply. It was the plain truth, not probably what he wanted to hear, but she was firm on it. Very firm.

"And if he killed us all anyway, just out of spite, or tortured us to find out where you'd gone?" Dean asked, bluntly, since she seemed so convinced that her absence would guarantee their safety. "What then?"

That made her flinch. Hard. She looked away, not having considered that. "Then maybe I find him instead." she said, after a long few minutes of silence. "If that's what might happen, and you're right--it could. Then you know, I probably need to leave before he even finds me." She stood up, and started to head out of the room, not sure where she was going exactly, but there was a strange hush over her mind. Like everything had short circuited when he'd said that to her, and it cut down every other line of thought she had. Because really...she couldn't argue that. It wasn't like she'd put it past him. So, if she meant to keep people safe, then maybe she just needed to go now. Before he showed. Or find him first. Do...whatever it was that would need doing when she found him. She wasn't prepared to even start contemplation on that either.

Oh shit. Dean hadn't thought that far down the line, but he knew he should have done - this was Thia after all. He was on his feet almost immediately, the book dropping forgotten to the floor and he got round in front of her just before she headed up the steps into the kitchen. "No, Thia, don't," he said, putting a hand on each of her shoulders to stop her.

She didn't actually stop, she twisted to the side, ducking down as she tried to get past him, not thinking through whether or not she thought he'd actually try harder to get her to stop. Again, she didn't even know where she was headed. Possibly upstairs, to grab her bag and a few things, get Billy's phone number so she could call and talk to him to get some messages to Maddie on things or...something. She had no idea what per se, but she figured she'd get her brain in order at some point and she'd come up with something. She also didn't say anything, because there wasn't a whole lot to say. Other than 'get out of my way', but she didn't think that would do any real good.

He ducked with her, bobbing down so she couldn't slip under his arm. "Thia, no - wait," he said, urgency growing in his tone. This wasn't good. In so many ways this really wasn't good - he didn't know what she was intending, but he was sure it involved her not being here anymore. No, not good at all.

"Dean--get out of my way." Lullaby said. Her voice was soft, but clear, edged. She wasn't looking at him, in fact, her gaze was locked in somewhere beneath his shoulder, and while she'd stopped for a moment when he'd blocked her, that didn't mean she stopped for long, and she tried again, this time actively pushing both of her hands against his chest to try and make him move. Not that that was going to work out for her or anything, if he really didn't want to, but she had to make the effort. Next was turning around to head out the back door, if he didn't get out of her way.

He moved, but only because he wasn't going to physically restrain her, but that didn't mean he gave up trying either. "Thia - we were talking about this. You wanted to talk about this - so, let's go and talk," he said, speaking loud enough so that he knew she'd hear him, even if she was refusing to actually look at him.

Hey look, an opening. She started walking off, towards the stairs. Yeah, apparently she was headed to her room. Or...the room she was staying in. "Think we said enough." she said. "You're right. I agree. And really all that means to me is I have to get out of here even faster, just so that if at all possible, he doesn't get wind of you at all. And then I go looking." She didn't know how she'd go about that, but she thought maybe if she put herself out there a little, took some risks that she was terrified of, maybe he'd show. Maybe. And if he didn't, and she got into trouble, well it wasn't like she wouldn't be back again, right? Her mindframe was a little on the harsh side at current, a cold leaden feeling in the pit of her stomach as she thought about the possibilities of horrible things happening here.

Dean followed her. The moment she started moving, so did he. He wasn't just going to let her walk off like that. He wasn't good at letting people just walk away, especially not her. "I'm not going to let you just... I'm not going to let you go alone, Thia," he told her as they headed for the stairs.

"Yes you are." Lullaby countered right back as she headed up the steps. "Remember that bit about torturing you and killing you? Yeah--I can't have that. It's just...no. No not ever. So you are staying here. Home. Where you're safe, and you have people around you who're going to look after you and protect you and who don't have some psychotic fucking asshole who might be hunting them who'll go through you to get to them. If you come with me, it will completely defeat the purpose, so just...walk away." She turned and headed to her room, pushing the half open door the rest of the way open, and she did it a little too hard, and it thudded a bit against the wall. She didn't hear it though, and she looked around for the bag she'd had when she'd first arrived, a backpack. Where the fuck had she put it?

Dean didn't even pause on the threshold the way he normally would have done as he followed her into the room. "No," he told her, putting himself in front of her again. "You go, I go. I'm not letting you go alone, so get used to that idea." He told her, stubbornly. "Or stay here, where - as you yourself said - it's safe, where we can actually plan something that might work, rather than rushing off with no plan and nothing in place. Because, right now, we don't know what we're dealing with, or how to deal with it. Hell, even your theory that he'd come through us to get to you is just that - a theory. But if you're going, I'm coming with you and you can't stop me, Thia."

She stopped when he was in her way again, and finally looked up to meet his eyes. Her own were hard, unyielding. She wasn't really entertaining anything else right now, not really. Not after that idea had latched onto her mind and kept tight hold. "It's safe here if I'm not here." she pointed out. "Or it should be, especially if I'm out of here and find him before he comes poking around here." She glanced away for a moment before she looked back at him. "You can't come with me." she said firmly. "Don't make me do this the hard way. Please." There was the slightest waver in the last word, because all of this was really blindsiding her hard. And with a few more minutes of it eating away at her insides like acid, she was starting to feel the very first pangs of true loss. What she was planning on giving up right now, she just figured she had to.

He shook his head, not liking that, already his mind supplying what the 'hard way' could be. "I can't let you go, Thia," he told her, miserably. He couldn't, he just couldn't.

What she wanted to do right then was hug him. Just hold him as tight as she could for a minute, before she left. She was still planning on doing that, and she understood what he was saying...she even believed him, which was the hardest part. If she didn't, then it would be easier, but no. He wouldn't say that and not mean it. It was really even less of information she didn't have, and confirmation of something she already knew. But that was the problem, wasn't it? He wasn't willing to let her go, even if it meant he'd be in pretty serious possibly mortal danger. The only reason she didn't give in to her instincts there was she didn't know if she'd be able to go through with it if she did. Letting go would be harder than ever, and she needed to be putting distance between them, not the opposite. "You're going to have to." she said, just barely understandable, and really, no one without hearing like Dean's would have been able to catch it. She moved to walk around him again. She'd need her phone, a few things. She didn't even know what, but...clothes, probably. Maybe some money. Her bunny. Her journal, that had Dean's letter in it.

"No I'm not," Dean told her back as he watched her, though he didn't speak any louder than she had. He knew she wouldn't have heard him. But he was already thinking, already planning on what steps he needed to take if she suddenly decided to up and disappear. "At least wait a couple of days," he tried, attempting to sound reasonable, knowing that even if he bought that time, he'd not be able to let her go then. "We can go and see Maddie, find out what she knows, figure out if there's anything else." I can work on talking you out of this. Or, failing that, I can get things ready to come after you, he thought.

She found her backpack, it was under the bed. She pulled it out, and started to take some things out of her drawers to shove into it, not paying a hell of a lot of attention to what she was actually taking. Didn't seem to matter. In light of everything else, what she happened to have with her was really a non issue for her. Entirely. She couldn't bring herself to care. She shut the drawers she was done with then turned to the nightstand, yanking the drawer open there, and she overjudged, and it came out, spilling her notebook-journal onto the floor with a few pens, his letter, and some of the other odds and ends Sophie had given her. She sat on the floor heavily and shoved most of it back into the drawer, but the notebook, a pen and his letter went into her backpack. Though the letter was going to be a bit more crumpled now than it had been to start with. Putting the drawer back into place, she looked around, eyes ghosting past Dean because she wasn't figuring looking at him was the best plan she ever had, and she grabbed Hennabean off of her pillow. She knew he'd spoken, and she should answer, but she didn't have one for him that wasn't 'no, you can't talk me out of this, no you can't come with me and a few more days won't make the danger go away'. Which she figured he could fill in on his own. He knew her well, after all, now didn't he?

He sat down with her, a hand on the bag, though he didn't actually try and take it off her. "Thia, please," he said, panic rising. "Please, Thia - don't make me beg. Don't go. Please don't just go," he added, borderline begging anyway. Yes, he'd be going after her the moment she left, but he didn't know what to do after that. He could find her, he was sure, but then what? How could he make her come back if he couldn't stop her leaving in the first place?

She had to fight not to cling again. It was difficult. Harder the longer she stayed. She looked down at his hand on the bag, then back up at him. "If I find him, if I...if I can make sure you're safe, if I can take care of things I'll come back." she promised. "I will but I have to go, okay?" she asked, that whole loss factor really bleeding in now. Because this leaving thing was to protect people if she could. Protect him, because she didn't have another way to do it. She didn't even know enough about herself yet to properly figure a plan out. But she wasn't willing to put him at risk while she figured it out, either.

"No. No, Thia - not okay," Dean told her, not giving an inch. "Never 'okay' - not when... You can't ask me to be okay with this, you can't ask me to just let you walk out that door with no... No, not okay, Thia. Don't go. Don't make me..." come after you. Except she hadn't gone yet, had she? And that was the primary goal - to stop her from leaving. There had to be more he could be doing here, there had to be.

"I promise I'll be back. Just...not until it's over. Not until I can make sure no one gets hurt, just because I'm present." she said, and she hoped that the waver in her tone was her imagination, but she didn't think she was that lucky. The sucky part was that he understood the idea. He'd just told her. Worse than that, even, she knew her own reaction. That even if things had been just as bad as he'd feared? It would have been worth it to her. The difference in Lullaby's mind was that if anything happened to him...there wasn't any coming back from it. When Dean was gone, he was gone. And she'd rather know he was okay, and out there somewhere, than keep with him and wind up getting him killed. "I'm sorry." she said finally, before she started to push herself back up to her feet. It was that or the clinging thing she wasn't doing. So she was opting for willpower and what she firmly believed she had to do.

This wasn't working, none of this was working, not properly, though he knew that he was getting through on some level - he could hear it in her voice. She didn't want to go. He just had to convince her that going was something she couldn't do. But he was running out of options - so he went with the only thing he had left really. As she stood, he near enough launched himself at her, pulling her back down and towards him, wrapping his arms round her. "Don't go, please Thia, please god, don't go," he begged, really, honestly begged this time as he clung to her.

Being she hadn't expected that, it caught her entirely off guard, and she was in fact yanked down. And clung to, which was also unexpected in some fashion--and then there was a tiny little voice in the back of her mind that wasn't surprised at all. She remembered when he'd pulled her back when she'd been going to leave the room upstairs, when everything was awful. When they'd thought they should really not be near each other. This felt a lot like that, just more so. Hearing his voice like that, the tone, the words, then broke her heart. She'd been having a hard enough time as it was, but she didn't know if she could leave this second with him like this. Maybe...maybe she'd leave tonight. After dark, she'd slip out. When she was sure he was sleeping, or something. If she had to try that incorporeal thing, she would. She still believed she needed to leave, but...yeah. She didn't know if she at all could when he was like this. She tried to move a little...though he had her held so tight that wasn't the most viable option. So finally she just relaxed against him, eyes falling shut and she rested her face in against his neck, trying to get her trainwreck of a mind and emotional state to stop screaming.

His hold on her wasn't particularly elegant. Or even very comfortable. He'd ended up half sitting on one of his feet, the other leg off to one side a little, his only thought having been to stop her and all that he'd had left at his disposal had been the hug. And, amazingly, it appeared to have actually worked as he felt her relax against him, which, in turn, made him relax, as he dropped his head on top of hers, not holding back this time, as he buried his face in her short hair, smiling a little. She wasn't going to go. Not this instant, anyhow. That gave him time, that gave him a chance at least.

Some weird, separate part of her thought that he'd never done that before. The hair thing. That was the sliver of passive bystander that existed in her head from time to time, though it always seemed to her when she needed it most it fucked off. But it picked up that observation. She shifted enough to bring her arms up around his neck, to pull him closer, and her fingers drifted into his hair at the back of his head, to hold him there. Keep him close for the moment. If she was planning on leaving tonight, it might be the last hug she got from him. So...she didn't plan to let it go to waste, even if she wasn't supposed to be doing that kind of thing. Right now, the rules she'd set up for herself didn't seem so important. Not a whole lot did. He still was, though.

He shifted slightly as she did, just getting himself into a less cramp-inducing position, but not actually letting her go at all. Pulling his head back a little, so his face was up out of her hair, he spoke loud enough for her to hear him. "Come with me to see Maddie in the morning," he proposed. "Hear what she has to say, talk it over with her. Then we'll see where we are, okay?"

Probably won't be here to do that. she thought, but couldn't say. Maybe that made her a coward or something, but she couldn't. "I'll think about it." she said quietly. Which was as good as she would give him. Because she would. She'd consider. She didn't figure her mind would be changed, but she'd think about it. Try to see if she thought it would help, or if it would just be putting off the inevitable. That's how she felt about most of it. Like it was all just putting things off. Putting it off, putting it off, but not coming up with a solid, final solution. There's only one of those. a nasty, dark little part of her mind put in, and that thought made her hug him a little tighter.

"Then promise me that you'll still be here in the morning," Dean told her, knowing that he wouldn't believe it even if she said she would be. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to sleep all night, as he waited for the sound of her crossing the landing for the stairs. She'd taken her bells off last time she hadn't wanted him to hear her. He'd have to watch for that. And this was such a quiet house, no creaking floorboards to give her away.

One thing they didn't really do was lie to each other. She'd never been a good liar, even at the best of times, and now? Didn't in any way qualify. It wasn't going to make her any better at it. But she didn't know what else to tell him. She couldn't say she was going to be there. She didn't think she would be. So...about all she was left with was the same thing she'd said before. "I'll think about it." she said softly again, more towards a whisper this time. She still hadn't let go in the slightest either, and she belatedly realized that yep. This was why she'd been not giving him a hug goodbye in the first place. She didn't want to let go. There was a hollow place forming in her chest. She could feel it there, and she didn't figure it was going to be going away anytime soon.

At least she hadn't lied to him - he would have hated it if she'd lied to him, though he understood why she'd do it. He drew back, taking her hands and standing, making to pull her to her feet. "Come on," he told her, his eyes never leaving her face for a second.

Lullaby hadn't quite been prepared to move, though then there was moving, and she got tugged up to her feet. "...where're we going?" she asked, frowning slightly. Not necessarily wary, because she trusted him, of course, she just wasn't sure what he had in mind. Her own was at a blank place. The eye of the storm, she figured. Where everything suddenly went quiet, because you were in the middle of the whirlwind.

"To my closet," he told her, letting go of one of her hands so they could walk, but firmly keeping hold of the other and keeping close to her. "Where it's safe and we can lock out the world for a while. I promise not to bother you, or pester you, or anything like that. You can make up your mind in your own time." And I'll just be there when you do, he mentally added. Because he wasn't going anywhere and he wasn't just going to back off to let her leave, but his closet was nice and non-threatening and he knew she liked it in there. It was, hopefully, safe, secure, neutral ground.

She was wondering if he was planning on spending the whole night with her, to see if he could keep her with him. Whenever they went and hid in his closet to shut out the world, they tended to spend hours in there. Hell...last time they'd fallen asleep, and slept for a really long time, too. Dean wasn't the only one with a mind that ticked ahead a step sometimes, though. She knew she had an out. She wasn't very good at it, and she could really fuck it up and hurt herself, but...she might have to use it. There was enough space under the doors to slide out from, if she let her form fade out. She'd practiced after he'd gone to bed the other night, she was slightly better at it, not that she'd actually tried the door thing. She'd been too afraid to. But now? Well...she may have to. And she would, but for right now, she was willing to go with him. Sort of half for him, half for her. That hollow place in her chest was loss, she knew that. She really wasn't prepared to not have Dean in her life. But if she didn't do something, he might be taken away in a really permanent manner. "Alright." she confirmed for him, giving his hand a squeeze, and she reached over to clasp her other hand around his as well, an automatic gesture that she wasn't up to curbing right now.

Dean was, in fact, prepared to stay there all night with her as he led her to his room, letting her go only to grab the bedding from his bed to throw down into the closet before he came back for her and led her inside. He figured that they could lay down and he could hold her - that's what they'd done before, after all. He could hold her to him for as long as it took and she wouldn't leave. And even if she did, even if she decided to do that invisible thing, he'd know - because he'd feel her go. It wasn't much of a plan, but it was all he had as he sat down on the blankets over the floor and pulled her down.

She was actually starting to get used to the fact that Dean's manner of moving her from place to place was to sort of just...manhandle her. He wasn't ever actually rough with it, so she didn't mind. It was just something that was becoming more apparent, and that little side part of her mind had noted it, what with it being like the third time that day he'd done it. She went willingly, and then she flopped down onto the blankets, and she yanked him down with her this time.

Dean wasn't used to being pulled around and he unbalanced a little, landing ungainly next to her, but without any real complaint. Any thoughts he'd had in the past about not getting too close to her were out the window at the moment. Not, this was just all about playing on her weaknesses to make her stay. And, also, possibly, he could admit, because he felt the undeniable need to cling to her and stop her from leaving. It was just pure coincidence that the two meshed so nicely as he snuggled up into her, wrapping his arms around her and bringing her back up against his chest.

When he flopped a little, it got the softest of little almost-laughs out of her. Not quite, but near. It made her smile in the dark, even as she also tossed any ideas of keeping clear of him away entirely for the time being. She snuggled in with him, and wasn't overly careful with that either. No, if this was what they were doing right now, this was what they were doing, and she might be gone by...say, three am-ish? Something like that. So she wasn't going to be holding back a whole lot right now. She want